Jeff Ruland, Basketball Card Legend

You really should follow Fat Shawn Kemp. Without FSK, you wouldn't be stifling laughter in the office at Jeff Ruland's awe-inspiring Fleer 1992-93 card.

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Greg Oden totally stole Ruland's M.O., since he was into looking sixty years old in his twenties way before Oden was. Just look at the expression in the first photo: it says both "I'm thinking about a nice heating pad right now," and "I wonder if I left the waffle iron on again oh Betty's gonna have my hide for that." Ruland's iconic post defense is captured brilliantly on the right. Opponents always felt what you can now see captured forever on the internet: 

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"I've never had anyone fall into me more courteously, or while making more pained noises from merely bending his knees," says former Bull Scott Williams.

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That quote is made up, but it's not fiction, no?

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