Contrary to tradition, the Dallas Mavericks will not receive their 2011 NBA Championship rings on opening day, which happens to be Christmas this year, reports ESPN's Jeff Kaplan. Here are some potential reasons as to why not.
1. Mavericks owner Mark Cuban wants Dirk Nowitzki, Jason Kidd and Jason Terry to help design the ring, and he has not been able to talk to those three guys since June because of the lockout. (Note: this is the official reason.)
2. Mark Cuban is so lazy. He's had five months! He's like the Shawn Kemp of NBA owners. Put down that cupcake and order some rings, Cubes!
3. Mark Cuban and noted glass designer/former Maverick Anthony "Dad" Johnson are working on some next-level ornamental jewelry.
4. LeBron James is so allergic to championship rings that Mark Cuban is having mercy by creating a cover story to delay the ring ceremony to a day in which LeBron James will not be close enough to go into hives.
5. Mark Cuban is an attention whore and wants separate championship banner and championship ring ceremonies [via the 2011 San Francisco Giants].
6. DeShawn Stevenson is still pushing behind the scenes for championship tattoos instead of rings. Mark Cuban is taking it under consideration because he has always wanted to get matching tattoos with Dirk Nowitzki and this could finally be his chance.
7. Mark Cuban totally thought he would have until November 2012 via hardline NBA owners.
8. Mark Cuban is still drunk from the championship party.
9. Mark Cuban is missing. Siri is answering his e-mail.
10. It was all just a dream. The Miami Heat actually won the championship. We will collectively wake up on Christmas Day and David Stern will give the Miami Heat their championship rings. When we all walk outside on Christmas Day, the world will resemble the Pridelands in The Lion King after Scar took over. It will be the worst Christmas ever, and we will all regret having rooted for the NBA to return.