The Sixers old mascot, an urban bunny rabbit named Hip Hop, has retired to life on a farm in rural Pennsylvania. Now the organization has put the choice for a new mascot in the hands of a fan vote.
The options are magnificently bad:
1. Big Ben: History, alive! Ben Franklin is an American classic. He's the most Philadelphia option on this list and he'll never go out of style -- unlike, says, a Hip Hop-themed rabbit. If Poor Richard could be rendered more Muppet-like and less cartoonishly human, this should be the winner.
2. Franklin Dogg: "Our Hip Hop rabbit isn't resonating with children. What about a Hip Hop McGruff™?" said an actual person, probably. No! This is silly. This "dogg" knows that he is silly. Look at him:
3. Phil E. Moose: Presented without comment, Phil E. Moose:
OK, leave a comment with the least of these evils. Or suggest your own mascot. How about a fair, curvy maiden named Liberty Belle?
/shows self out
For more on the Sixers mascot vote, including a suggestion to go without one of these embarassassing mascots, check our our Sixers blog Liberty Ballers.