Chuck Hayes screwed around and got a triple-double in the Houston Rockets' easy win over the Golden State Warriors on Wednesday, causing hundreds of basketball fans to check their calendars immediately to ensure it was not yet April Fools' Day. Chuckwagon, you see, is not the most refined player in the NBA. The nicest thing anyone has ever said about Hayes is that if he played in the '50s, he'd be a household name. (I said that, by the way.)
If basketball statistics were like Mother Nature, a Chuck Hayes triple-double would be like a 500-year flood, which only means that you wouldn't have to get insurance against it but that it would still kind of worry you, especially when the storm clouds gather.
As a rookie, Hayes played 535 minutes and had ... 14 assists. In 2007, he played 1,714 minutes -- 22 minutes per game in 78 appearances -- and registered 47 assists, or one every 36 minutes. Chuck's assists per game figures have actually doubled over his career average this season ... to 2.4 per game.
You seen, then, why this is so amazing. Chuck Hayes refuses to say can't, and America is better for it. Cheers to you, Chuck Hayes! May you triple-double happily ever after!