Jason Terry lazily shoved Steve Blake Thursday night as the Los Angeles Lakers pounded the Dallas Mavericks. A completely boring standoff ensued ... until Matt Barnes flew in to rustle things up. Nobody fouls one of Matt Barnes' teammates, you hear!
On Colin Cowherd's ESPN Show Loud Noises, Occasional Racism And No Logic With Colin Cowherd on Friday, Terry shared his thoughts on Barnes' toughness. (Via Chris Manning.)
"We call him the 'Charminator' because he's soft as Charmin toilet paper."
Do you buy it? Is Barnes fugazy, as Tim Thomas would say? (Note the difference between fugazy -- fake tough -- and Fugazi -- \m/.) Barnes, after all, is known as one of the NBA's most trigger-happy fighters, a throwback '90s type who does stuff like ... fly in during a standoff between two players in order to instigate some real drama. He also slapped his coach during a pro-am league in San Francisco this summer. He's at least scrappy, if quite a dolt with rage issues. Let's just say that in the third grade I would not have wanted to play tetherball against him.
This brings up a second, equally pressing (which is to say not pressing at all) question: if JET meant the other interpretation of "Charminator," as in an incredibly charming terminator, who would he be talking about? Would Derrick Rose get the nod even if advanced stats showed Kevin Durant to be empirically more charming? ("Rose doesn't even smile!" "His teammates don't give him anything to smile about. Watch the games, idiot.")