Dan Le Batard Rants Gleefully After Miami Heat Make NBA Finals: 'LeBron James Is Keyser Soze!'

Miami Herald columnist and all-around bon vivant Dan Le Batard has been one of the most prominent proponents of the new-look Miami Heat since LeBron James and Chris Bosh chose to join Dwyane Wade in South Florida last summer. Immediately after their move, he christened them the "Three Kings" and went on a delightfully unhinged tirade on his radio show; another one followed last summer, just because, and Le Batard went on a third rant to defend the Heat celebrating after their win over the Celtics.

But Le Batard's fourth and most recent rant, a kiss-off to the experts who predicted the Bulls would top the Heat, may be his best.

After the jump, a selection of Le Batard's choicest braggadocio.

 

  • Le Batard whispers "Can you hear it?" and rolls off a laundry list of things silenced by the Heat's Game 5 comeback, including ESPN's Mike Wilbon and Bill Simmons, the United Center.
  • "That's the sound that all of Charles Barkley's rings make when he throws them together on a table." ("I don't hear anything, Dan.") "Exactly!"
  • "I went to Publix today, and I got a pound and a half of Boar's Head smoked turkey ... FROM THE NBA COACH OF THE YEAR!"
  • "Filipino Jackson!"
  • "LeBron James is Keyser Soze! And just like that, POOF, your season is gone!"
  • Le Batard sings some of the hook of Rebecca Black's "Friday."
  • "You have Pizzeria Uno! How many shots did Derrick Rose the MVP make when LeBron was guarding him, the entire series?" ("Uno!") "Stugotz, how many middle fingers am I holding up?" ("Uno!")
  • "Miami is now rooting against a Cuban!"
  • "You have the black Sammy Sosa! We have the white Sammy Sosa!"
  • "You're the Windy City! We're the Win-ny City!"
  • "Is that a basketball team or an AA meeting?!"
  • "Joakim Noah has head lice!"
  • "Chicago, Chicago, it's my kind of town ... IF MY KIND OF TOWN WERE LOSERVILLE!"

This is sports talk radio at its absolute finest.

Via Peninsula is Mightier.

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