The Prokhorov Needs Votes For Russian Greatness

Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov wishes to have a word with you about his plans for Russia. He also has thoughts on the natural seafaring instincts of lemurs. He is not speaking through a translator.


Hyello, voter of potential. The Prokhorov comes not to bury Caesar. He is dead Roman. Prokhorov likes live Roman and his yacht most enormous. Has invitation to jetski in lake on island in spacious lagoon on back of Abramovitch yacht. The Prokhorov will accept invitation when Prokhorov has bigger yacht than Roman.

The Prokhorov is building yacht now. Is named Madagascar and is also island of same name. Mobility of Madagascar is terrible. Amenities? She has all including the lemur most majestic of animals. Someday the Prokhorov will make one pilot of yacht and fulfill lifelong dream of taking lemur further in the Darwin evolution path. Lemur is born sea captain. The Prokhorov has always known this. In bones he feels it.



Evolution path. This is something The Prokhorov thinks much about. He sees NBA. Sees things NBA must do. Make new collective bargain deal. Open mining interest in Mongolia with Stern David salary, make him sweep floors. HAHAHAHA The Prokhorov jokes. Stern David should not sweep. He should to Florida go. Relax on other yacht of Prokhorov. Name is "Cuba." Some confuse for island but luxury is fine element. The eyes, they do not all see her the same.

Stern David should relax. Let owners lead. Enjoy custom staff of thirteen supermodels and luxury beverage. Stern likes stocky loud women of Orient. The Prokhorov oblige with whole basketball team of them. Wives, they know nothing Stern David. Let live life of luxury with Thai lady wrestler. And yes all ladies. Prokhorov hires men of knowledge to inspect to keep Bangkok Surprise from ruffling Stern David hair.

Unless Stern David desires Bangkok Surprise. The Prokhorov is not god. He does not judge.

The Prokhorov will make lemur sea captain. He will the Stern David relax with pad thai ladies on yacht name of Cuba. Darwin evolution demands this and more. The Darwin Evolution says The Prokhorov changes too. You know The Prokhorov for many thing. The handsome. The rich. The LIFESTYLE JETSKI. Beach party champagne forever yes. All these things The Prokhorov is. Will forever be.


The Prokhorov is seen with impoverished friend Jay-Zed.

The Prokhorov, however, must the Darwin evolve. He must grow to promise full. He must the Russia lead to 25th century. You say "The Prokhorov this is Century 21st! 22nd must come next." The Prokhorov, he does not listen to limits. The Prokhorov will to 25th century lead Russia four hundred years early. Will skip entire 23rd century. Like secret naked model candy beach, The Prokhorov has been there. Unlike secret naked model candy beach you want from it nothing.

(Will only say: 23rd century favorite party is robot-rape-murder-wolf-fire-party. This, The Prokhorov cannot abide. No sweetness of beach. No luxury blanket watusi bingo.)

The Prokhorov accept endorsement of Glorious Leader Gorbechev. The Prokhorov is grateful for great blotchy father figure. Will hide from Putin and his glowing tea set. When Prokhorov become President of The Russian he make changes. Give every citizen one week vacation to Black Sea. Establish national Discotechnical Insitute For Study of the Rhythmic Luxuries. Part of larger Luxury University Union State Technical Academy For Pursuit of Luxuries Unseen. Only then can Russia take next step. Make every yacht captain tall proud Malagasy lemur. Take Stern Davids from every life and show them goodness of sweet living. Make supermodel base unit of currency. Yacht party jetski happy forever.

The Prokhorov promises one gold bar per year with the delivery personal.


Also if Carmyelo Anthony is listen: Ukraine is yours. Entire thing. Please keep secret because The Prokhorov would need to borrow it first with many tanks. However offer is solid with sign of contract. Promise this, The Prokhorov does. Offer good till 25th century of Prokhorov presidency.

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