And Now, A Transmission From Whatever Planet Delonte West Is On

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From the minute he joined Twitter, you knew a day like this was coming. Thursday afternoon, with the hurricane bearing down on the East Coast and the NBA Lockout in full swing, Delonte West finally decided to unleash his full force on Twitter.

Remember that earthquake earlier this week? That was a conspiracy. That, and other Delonte highlights after the jump.

They see him rollllllllin, they hatinnnnn, tryin' to catch Delonte drivin dirrrrty.

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Note: No reason to assume Delonte's talking about driving here, especially because him sitting in his drieway--while blasting Wiz Khalifa, drinking Remy Martin, and tweeting--is so much better.

#LockoutLife: Trade in your Range...

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This would be a humblebrag, but...

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...the options really aren't that glamorous.

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Michael Jordan didn't teach Delonte...

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Note: Jokes aside, nobody has more wisdom to offer than the old drunk with a cigarette in his mouth.

When's that chick comin' through?

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In case you were wondering, this is how Delonte gets ready for the rapture.

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Whatchu know about gang bangin the elements?

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That earthquake, though...

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Yeah, about those missiles...

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Um, yeah... I think I'd be a little terrified to take a sip of whatever Delonte's having. On the other hand, if this lockout's going to last all year, then somebody like Delonte West could very well become the defacto Lockout MVP. So here's to hoping he keeps tweeting, and keeps recording freestyles about shoes, and keeps telling stories, and... Just keeps being himself, basically. Delonte's the best.

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