The Prokhorov Has Friday Commentary

Excuse. The Prokhorov is bit busy.

The Prokhorov has thoughts. Running over media with car makes thinking. Thinking makes thoughts. Thoughts make The Prokhorov excited. The Prokhorov gets excited. Takes car for drive over lying snake tongue reporters crowd and cameras. Thinking starts again. Is circle of life.

Thoughts to Lin Jeremy. Many congratulation for Knickerboxers and young man from family of fake China. The Prokhorov hopes to see real China angry over Taiwanese liar country person ascend to NBA fame. Then real China enters into lucrative mineral right deal with Russia. Glory and money for the Prokhorov and anger to Knicks. Nets party forever.

Carmyelo sees error and joins the Prokhorov and Jay-Zed for the vodka, caviar, and shooting of rooftop zoo ostrich. After warning the Square Garden of Madison pocket nuked by Chinese. Purchased for low prices and turned into luxury wealth apartments by Prokhorov. As says in Caucasus, "One step ahead of bear is three step behind the creature with fang-fingers and eye of she-goat." There is no word for this in English. The Prokhorov suggests "Stern David," but then remembers she-goat creature not fat man with ladyrolls crying in golden bathtub all day.

Stern David busy man. The Prokhorov understand this. Stern David tells Seattle, "You someday get team again maybe if possible and Stern David gets wrinkle prune self from bathtub into suit." Seattle suffers much. The flannel. Surplus of Finnish-type persons with the moods and drinking. Misty pee-pee rain all time. Garbage and the hipster pigs. Bicycles everywhere! Bicycle is new poverty mule. Should be beaten and sold for parts.

Give Seattle team, Stern David. Happy is nowhere else for American Novosibirsk.

Stern David also say Dwight Hyoward not shadow over NBA All-star. Stern David learns crafty lies and now is teacher. The Prokhorov understands Orlando muscle genius. He watch him with former KGB men because he loves. He sees Hyoward drive Bentley like minivan each day to sad troglodyte fried chicken chain. Order food like hungry schoolboy on way to work. Play the rap with windows down and wave to tax help clown on side of ugly Florida road.

The Prokhorov would be teacher for Dwight. Life of luxury school. Textbook is life of Prokhorov. Teach Hyoward to travel in special Israel commando ironface dance van. Fill with girls. Act bored with all. Instead play chess with brain of Vladimir Nabokov in jar. Tell fabulous story of acquisition. Tell of build Nabokov-robot to write Lolita 2: Tokyo Drift. Caste perfect leading man for role of Humbert squared. This is the Tatum Channing. Then call Tatum Channing and trade him underground natural gas lake for role.

Dialogue practice on phone dramatic line! Samples for you from blockbuster do not copy.

Humbert squared: " 'Sup, girl. You thirteen?"

Girl turn into SEXY CAR. Explosion.

All this on way to work! Hard to believe but life is really Prokhorov's like this.

Orlando. Fyeh. Hyoward linger in child-rat-cartoon town too long. Come to Brooklyn. Enjoy Habitrail fortress The Prokhorov build inside Brooklyn Zoo. Tunnels through lion exhibit. Make face at lion. He slap plastic tunnel and you laugh like happy gerbil. We give lion $300 bottle of Armand de Brignac with robot claw and laugh. So much laughing! So many dreams the Prokhorov has for the future pleasures.

Future pleasure include serving Russian people. When Prokhorov becomes Czar-President-Chairman of Russia NBA troubles all will be Stern David. UNTIL THE PROKHOROV PURCHASES NBA WITH RUSSIAN TREASURY. Not whole Russian treasury. Just small part. Greedy cold European and Chinese hate cold. Weakness and thin socks make natural gas demand from shivering European. Natural gas demand makes luxury car crash economy.

Campaign promise for Russian basketball fanatical:

  • Free NBA Ticket for whole population. Even Putin get for free without poison or murder trick. The Prokhorov forgive.
  • Great cloning project without stupid ethic limit. All Lin Jeremy team. All Carmyelo on bench. See lesson sink into traitor skull. Yet keep all Carmyelo on bench forever.
  • Davis Baron play shirtless as bad example of the fitness.
  • Garnett Kevin play with mask like Batman hero Bane. Tell Garnett Kevin gas inside is superpower gas. Gas inside mask is nothing. See what happen. Laugh.
  • Move Kings to natural home of Kyiv. Invade Ukraine. Kidnap team. Move back to Sacramento. Hope all learn lesson.
  • Put Cuban Mark in glass box every game. No one hear. Everyone point and laugh. Also, weasels in box.

All for Russia. When The Prokhorov runs point of Russia game, fortune must go. The Prokhorov need little. Maybe one billion to live beach party. Some sacrifice for better of world. Gone will be giant 500 meter light bulb in Australian desert Prokhorov leaves on all time because he can. Is sad to think about but for Russia all is needed. City of Darwin may sleep for first time in many year as result. Darwin is lazy sad wombat town anyway. Welcome is yours for lightbulb.

The Prokhorov also sizedown yacht for better glory of Russia. Here is new model.


This is not model. Is actual size. Prokhorov cannot enter. Instead entire ship run by tiny special monkey Prokhorov purchase from secret Congo lab. Will be envy of luxury life people. Tiny yacht economy take off. Money rain. Russia leads world to tiny yacht craze. Only Prokhorov holds key to this. Only other animal to fit in tiny ship? STERN DAVID, BECAUSE HE IS SMALL AND SAD. Ha ha ha The Prokhorov is joking. Stern David is fat toadstool. Cannot board ship. Makes better buoy than sailor.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.


You must be a member of to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.