Jay-Z Is Turning The New Nets Stadium Into A Watch The Throne Verse

Jay-Z's role within the soon-to-be Brooklyn Nets organization has always been a little bit murky. Is "tastemaker" an official front office position?

Basically:

Forks need to be heavy, [Jay] told his small audience. .... Forks, Jay-Z said, need to have substance. A plastic fork? Please. Even stainless steel was out of the question.

That's from the Wall Street Journal, and it's such an impossibly perfect parody of "New Jay-Z" that it can't possibly be real. But it's only the beginning, as the Journal's Scott Cacciola details the rest of Jay's vision for the luxury suites in Brooklyn's new Barclays Center.

You can read the entire article here, which includes some healthy skepticism of how all this might be received. As for the plan itself? It plays out like a lost Watch The Throne verse.

...the Nets are set to begin marketing 11 luxury suites that will be known as "The Vault at Barclays Center," a small, high-end space on the event level of the arena. Yes, Jay-Z chose the forks—in addition to offering his input on the Champagne ($300 bottles of Armand de Brignac), the layout (asymmetrical) and much of the décor (lots of black and shimmering metallics).

[...]

The Vault was conceived as a collection of uber-suites, part club scene and part Kasbah, replete with a VIP entrance framed by a 15-foot sheer curtain. The first tenant? Jay-Z himself.

Part of the aesthetic, Sharples said, was based on the metal bottles of Armand de Brignac, which is sponsoring a communal 2,400-square-foot bar at the center of the space. Jay-Z is a big fan. "I think he treats it the way I treat Diet Coke," said a spokeswoman for the winemaker.

Excellence, opulence, decadence. BALL SO HARD.*

*(Whatever it takes to distract you from the Nets.)

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