Michael Jordan Is Doing It All Wrong

On the one hand, this commercial's pretty great.

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On the other hand, it's SO UNREALISTIC.

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Even if you were some hapless white guy named Michael Jordan, think of all the ways you could use it to your advantage... Dinner reservations anywhere you want, ice-breaker at every dinner party you ever go to, comped presidential suites from every Vegas hotel you ever visit, starring roles on The Wire and Friday Night Lights. It would be great. Think less Michael Bolton in Office Space, and more Thomas Jefferson Johnson in The Distinguished Gentleman.

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Don't cry for the Michael Jordans out there.

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