Dwight Howard on the Celtics, and other ridiculous ideas from Houston

USA TODAY Sports

Would the Lakers trade Dwight Howard to the Celtics for Rajon Rondo? Of course not, but let's imagine the chaos anyway. Plus, Kyrie Irving and more ridiculousness from Day 1 of the 2013 NBA All-Star Weekend.

HOUSTON -- Dwight Howard has dominated headlines all season long with the Lakers, and somehow the first day of the 2013 NBA All-Star Weekend was no different. Late Friday, CBS Sports reported that the Lakers are discussing a trade that would send Dwight to the Celtics in exchange for Rajon Rondo, so everyone in Houston spent the rest of the night wondering how that could possibly happen.

Answer: it probably won't. Howard told media Friday that Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak said he had no plans to trade him, and even the report from CBS said the talks are "preliminary". But while we're on the subject ... Let's take a second to savor how disastrous it would be. Because if anyone wants to seriously discuss this trade, we need to mention that there's no athlete in all of sports who'd be a worse fit with the Boston fans and media. It'd be like sending him to a city full of Stan Van Gundys, only everyone's drunker and meaner.

Plus, he'd be going from life with Kobe to life with Kevin Garnett, the only player in the NBA who could possibly be more psychotic than Mamba.

It would all be so amazing and so, so cruel.

Dwight's definitely not healthy this year, the Lakers' season is going nowhere while Kobe chips away at his psyche a little more each day, and at some point we could end up watching a full-scale meltdown here. And Boston would be so much worse. He'd replace the beloved Rondo as the new face of the franchise, he'd never ever live up to KG, and he'd be despised by Celtics fans the second he arrives.

So as we all the digest the possibilities here, it's important to remember that if the Lakers ever DID make this trade, it would have to be out of pure spite. "Dwight ruined our season, so we're going to send him to the worst place imaginable for him. BOSTON."

It'd actually be pretty impressive if they went through with it.

But yes, that's how Day One in Houston ended -- with reporters laughing off this insane trade rumor, and me in a cab home at one in the morning realizing a Rondo-Dwight trade isn't actually insane. It's just the meanest, most incredible ending possible to the two-year Dwightmare.

Two other notes from Day One in Houston:

KYRIE IRIVING AND BRANDON KNIGHT SAVED THE ROOKIE GAME

The rookie game is almost always more or less unwatchable, but somehow it felt worse this year. The crowd was lifeless, neither team cared, and I'm pretty sure Charles Barkley -- who picked one of the teams and was supposed to coach -- never actually showed up.

So, who decided the rookie game was a good idea? If we just cancelled it would anybody care? Couldn't we fold it into All-Star Saturday somehow? These are questions that we all asked ourselves throughout the 40 minutes Friday night.

On the bright side, there was a three-minute sequence when Kyrie Irving and Brandon Knight went head-to-head, and for just a few moments the whole crowd paid attention.

It started with this:

Holykyrie_medium

RUTHLESS.

From there Knight responded by nailing a three on the other end, and then they went back and forth for the next three or four possessions trading vicious crossovers while fans went crazy, and everyone remembered why All-Star Games can sometimes be kinda great.

As Knight said afterward, "It definitely adds some spice to it, adds some flavor to the game." It was great for exactly three minutes, before one of the coaches decided to ruin it with a timeout. Mostly, Friday's rookie game was everyone's reminder that All-Star Games can sometimes be the absolute worst. The game ended with both teams playing out the final 90 seconds by standing around watching Kenneth Faried and Dion Waiters dunk.

Unrelated:

DWYANE WADE FOUND THE SKINNIEST TIE ON EARTH

Uspw_7044016_medium Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

That is far and away the most memorable item from All-Star Media Day. We can only hope that Russell Westbrook responds by rocking a neon bolo tie to All-Star Saturday.

Oh, and I also became best friends with Clipper Darrell on Friday.

***

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