Garret Siler had a brief, unexceptional NBA career.
Undrafted out of Augusta State, he caught on with the Phoenix Suns in 2010-11, appearing in 21 games and averaging 2.1 points while mostly playing in garbage time. He played a lot like you'd expect a 300-pound, 6'11 center to play: eating up space in the paint, finishing nicely around the hoop with layups and unspectacular dunks. He is not, suffice it to say, the type of player built for the highlight reels.
How will we remember a player like Garret Siler? Luckily, we have Patrys15.
In this video, we see 15 of Siler's 17 career field goals, accounting for 30 of his 45 career points, and three of his four career blocked shots. Calling these Garret Siler highlights is misleading. We're actually watching the majority of Siler's NBA career, compressed into three minutes. These are just his lights, neither high nor low.
This is the world of Patrys15, where with some editing and a seemingly random musical selection, scrubs can be stars, at least for as long as your YouTube window remains open.
Patrys15 is not the Internet's only mixmaker. He's not even the only one to ever make a mix of a bad player. Type in any NBA player's name, and you'll find a highlight tape of them at some point in their career, be it high school, college or even the pros.
But he might be the person with most dedication to unironically pumping out mixes of the NBA's less-than-elite. Why does he do it?
"Look, we have like hundreds of Kobe mixtapes around YouTube," Patrys told me. "How many [Kendall] Marshall, [P.J.] Tucker or any of the Williamses I made are on YouTube?"
(I should explain the "Williamses" comment. Somewhere along the line, Patrys decided to make a mix of as many players with the last name "Williams" as he possibly could. "I seriously have no idea why," he says. This includes Jordan Williams set to Blink 182's incredibly-depressing "I Miss You," Herb Williams with Biz Markie's "Just A Friend" in the background and Shelden Williams' immortal three-month Knicks tenure remembered with Jay-Z's "Brooklyn's Finest," even though Shelden's from Oklahoma).
My first experience with Patrys15 came when, as a fledging blogger rambling about the Knicks, I found a mix of Ime Udoka, the butt of many of my jokes during his incredibly brief stint with New York.
It's not a good sign for a players' talent when the mix opens with him shooting free throws. Even better, the screen goes from black and white to COLOR when the free throw goes in. "Ime! We're not in Kansas any more!"
I didn't realize at the time that the person making that video was a year younger than me or that he lived on the other side of the ocean in Poland. Patrys, a 22-year-old law student in Poznan named Pat in real life, began watching the NBA in the early 2000s, and eventually, like me, began spending far too much time doing basketball-related things on the Internet. Inspired by a fellow Polish mixmaker named TheKingMisiek, who he called his "mixmaking father," Patrys began making videos in 2007.
Six years later, Patrys' videos are much finer. I imagine some of this is due to the technology available and video quality, but there's more. The videos are interspersed with shots of city skylines and announcers chiming in excited phrases. Sometimes, the player's actions mesh with the key beats in the music. But the same unbridled enthusiasm for less-than-stellar NBA players remains.
It's a labor of love for Patrys. With Pole Marcin Gortat on the Suns, the Mavericks' fan has focused some of his efforts toward Phoenix, resulting in gems like this 25-minute P.J. Tucker highlight reel. Yes, it's 25 minutes long. Yes, for P.J. Tucker:
Patrys said the project took him two weeks, with him working for 3-5 hours a day. He thinks Tucker belongs on one of the NBA's all-defensive teams, and if you watch the video -- at least a few minutes of it -- you can make that argument. You can watch him hustling, locking down Carmelo Anthony, flustering point guards, shooting guards, and small forwards and sometimes grabbing offensive rebounds and hitting layups and stuff. It's daunting, but kind of fascinating.
Patrys said a regular-sized mix takes about 6-10 hours to make, the least of which, to my great disappointment, is musical selection.
"I have a friend who seems to know every single rapper from the '90s," he explained.
He downloads NBA games, which he said take about 45 minutes to scan for highlights, and documentaries. The feedback -- especially from players like Jerome Williams, who reached out to him on Facebook -- makes the process worth it, but he wondered how much he has left.
"As I'm growing up and getting older, finally getting closer to graduating, I know that one day I will have to say, 'That's it,'" Patrys said. "I won't be able to watch NBA games as I do it now.
"But for now, I hope I can still keep it up."
And as long as he does, the NBA's least-loved players can hope for their moment in the e-spotlight.
Patrys' favorite mixes
That 25-minute long P.J. Tucker video
"Because my laptop is already four years old, it has some difficulties with handling longer than eight-minute projects. That's why I had to make six mixes and then glue them into one. I had over one hour of PJ highlights. I had to go through every clip I had, select the "mix-worthy" parts and then start to make a mix."
Vince Carter 2012-13 dunks mix
"Vince Carter ... the reason I became a fan. Making a Vince Carter mix is something special, something you want to look perfect. Watching him playing is a pure pleasure even though it's a six-hour difference between Poland and East Coast time zone."
(No, I didn't know Vince Carter still dunked either.)
Marcin Gortat 2011-12 season
Obviously, there's the Polish connection. Patrys said he's not a Phoenix fan, but he watches the games because of the NBA's lone Pole.
My favorite mixes
Inexplicably set to the acoustic version of "Layla."
Excuse me: NBA CHAMPION Earl Barron, or GUY WHO AVERAGED 18 REBOUNDS PER GAME IN 2012-13 WITH THE KNICKS Earl Barron. Sure, he only played one game, but that's enough of a sample to me. DON'T NEED NO HATERATION HOLLERATION IN THIS DANCERY.
Pablo doesn't quite fit the description of NBA scrubs after a decent rookie year, but 13 MINUTES OF PABLO PRIGIONI DAMMIT THIS IS MY HEAVEN.