NBA teams should be allowed to trade everything

Brad Rempel-USA TODAY Sports

Why stop at players, coaches and draft picks? Let's treat everything like a commodity.

The goofiest thing that has become more common in the NBA lately is the trading of coaches. Last year the Celtics traded Doc Rivers to L.A. for picks. Earlier this summer the Timberwolves tried to trade for Dave Joerger, and now the Bucks are inexplicably trying to trade for Jason Kidd. You can't include players in such trades, only draft picks.

It's most bizarre in situations like the Bucks-Nets mess in which one team is clearly going to fire the coach in question. It's like if you're going to throw away half of a burrito, and someone notices and says, "Hey, whatchu doing with the rest of that burrito?" and you say "Why, what's it to you?" and they say "That burrito looks pretty good" and you don't throw it away and instead say "You want it? I'll hand it over for a burrito to be named later" and you quibble but eventually the other person takes you up on it. It's creating value out of thin air, which is pretty amazing.

So let's embrace it. Owners used to actually trade franchises back in the day. The NBA ranks are filled with Wall Street and hedge fund types now. Let's emulate the American financial system and turn everything into a commodity. Trade everything.

* The Minnesota Timberwolves send Kevin Love to the Washington Wizards and residence in the Western Conference for residence in the Eastern Conference and a future second. In a globalized society, geography is an outdated concept.

* The New Orleans Pelicans send the rights to Hugo The Hornet, the Hornets moniker and logo to Charlotte for Bismack Biyombo, a future first and cash. There's no reason whatsoever Tom Benson shouldn't have received compensation once Charlotte reclaimed the Hornets moniker. Memories of purple and teal Starter jackets were like 30 percent of the Hornets' franchise value when he bought it.

* The Indiana Pacers trade the right to play the Atlanta Hawks in the first round to the Brooklyn Nets for the rights to Bojan Bogdanovic and a first-round matchup against the Toronto Raptors. Why shouldn't you be able to use personnel assets to trade your way into an easier postseason opponent?

* TNT trades 14 of its scheduled Knicks broadcasts to truTV for one season of Container Wars and a South Beach Tow marathon.

* Clipper Darrell to the Orlando Magic for Jameer Nelson.

* The Suns' medical staff to Portland for LaMarcus Aldridge.

* @ATLHawks and Sir Foster to Boston for Jared Sullinger and Bob Ryan.

* The Heat trade their share of the national TV contract for one season to Philadelphia in exchange for their cap space for one year.

* The Warriors agree to forfeit the championship game at the 2014 Vegas Summer League and send a dozen In-n-Out Burgers to Cleveland. The Cavs send a lottery-protected first to Golden State. Cleveland finally wins a banner!

Make it happen, Commissioner Silver. Commoditize the NBA fully.

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