SB Nation - Lamar Odom

HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: Lakers Bring Back Showtime

Josh Tucker — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 07:00:26 -0000

In a defensive showcase, the Lakers clamped down in the fourth quarter and held the Utah Jazz to 6 points in the period. This included a 19-0 stretch, and from the start of the quarter to the 4:35 mark, a 23-2 run. We'll have LOTS more to say about that soon enough, but for now, here's your highlight of the night.

It's Showtime again in Los Angeles. Enjoy.

Ron Artest Bored by On-Court Fighting

Josh Tucker — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 18:27:55 -0000

Those of you who watched the Suns-Lakers game on NBA League Pass Sunday night will recognize this as something the Suns' commentators pointed out during the game. The truth is, I've been planning on posting this since the moment it happened on the court — it's just been a bit busy around here, what with Kobe throwing rocks at telephone poles, and all.

Aaaaaaanyways... watch this video, in which Lamar Odom gets his second technical and is ejected from Friday's game against the Heat, and tell me what you see.

What do you notice, here? After the jump, I'll tell you the first thing I saw...

Okay, so the title of this post probably gave it away, already. But without my very obvious title, I'm guessing most of you would have seen one of the following:

Jermaine O'Neal was a jackass on that play. He deliberately hung on Odom, and he also threw the first shove.
Odom has reason to be upset. Jermaine clearly started this.
Still, Odom needs to know better. He needs to keep his cool when he's already got one technical — especially in a close game.

But what I saw was Ron Artest, infamous for basketball-related fighting, bored out of his mind by the entire situation.

Check it out: When the shoving begins, pretty much every player on the court immediately gravitates toward the fracas. Heat players run in to break it up. Lakers players run in to break it up. Even Kobe Bryant and Derek Fisher, who are fairly far away from the action when it breaks out, eventually walk over to make sure everything is taken care of. Or maybe just to see what the deal is, hear what guys are saying, etc.

But not Ron Ron. He's looking the other way, standing there bored with his hands on his hips. Then, he finally notices what's going on — and still doesn't move an inch. He just stands there. It's like he can't be bothered. Maybe the thoughts going through his head, completely unrelated to the event, were just that much more interesting?

Also, I'd just like to point this out: so far, the fighter on the team appears to be Lamar Odom. While he seemed justified here, though still foolish for not controlling his anger (justified or not), it seems that of all the Lakers, he gets into "tense situations" with guys from the other team more than anyone else in purple and gold. And a whole lot more than Ron Artest.

Also, Ron Ron is tied four only third-most technicals on the Lakers, with only two thus far. Kobe has five, Bynum has three, and Ron and Lamar both have two.

Maybe that sports psychologist is really working? If this mentality remains constant for Artest throughout the entire season, I think the jock shrink should raise his fees.

Lakers Dominate Suns, Look Better Than Ever

Josh Tucker — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:38:35 -0000

More photos » by Gus Ruelas - AP

NCIS is my favorite show. Gibbs is my role model.

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In 2008-09, the Lakers won the NBA Championship (you know ... in case you hadn't heard). Along the way, they won 65 games. Throughout all this, their longest winning streak was 7 games. They had more than one such streak.

During the regular season, they often struggled to maintain focus and intensity. Their ceiling was very high, and they had the fortunate ability to play at nearly full potential when needed — but not consistently, and not when the competition was less than top notch. They often gave too much ground to bad teams, and though they were solid against Denver in the Conference Finals, and handled Orlando quite quickly en route to a 4-1 Finals victory, they weren't nearly as good as they should have been in the first two rounds, against lesser competition.

Many of these things appear to be changing, and last night's game is just the latest piece in a nine-game string of of games that punctuate that statement. With Pau Gasol still getting into shape, Ron Artest still learning the offense, and the schedule tougher than the pundits would have you believe, the Lakers' win over Phoenix last night has them riding a winning streak of nine games — already two better than anything they did last year.

With the stage now set, let's take a closer look at last night's blowout of the Suns at Staples Center...

Okay, I just can't help myself. Two more fun facts about this streak that I just have to point to:

On this nine-game winning streak, the Lakers have broken 100 points nine times. They have held their opponents below 100 points eight times.
Their average margin of victory over these nine games is 15.3 points per game. Basically, they're on a dominant nine-game winning streak, averaging a blowout.

Okay, on to last night's game. We'll do this with bullets.

Defense

The Suns have the NBA's best offense. Even after last night, they still rank nearly a full point per 100 possessions better than second-ranked Denver in that category. The Lakers, meanwhile, have one of the NBA's best defenses — 3rd by Offensive Efficiency rating, but first in defensive FG%, eFG%, and TS%. When the two clashed, the Lakers' defense easily won out.
The Lakers held the Suns under 100 points; only two other teams have managed that all year. They also held the Suns under 90 points; no other team has managed that all year.
They also held the Suns to under 100 points per 100 possessions (or, as we like to say around these parts, under 1.00 point per possession). By Hollinger's measure, they managed an efficiency rating of only 95.8 points per 100 possessions (0.96 PPP); by Dex's more accurate count (Hollinger uses a formula; Dex actually tallies it all up, possession by possession, superhero that he is), they were up to 0.98 PPP (98.0 points per 100 possessions). Either way, considering these two facts: (a) the Suns average 112.1 points per 100 possessions (1.12 PPP), and (b) a defensive efficiency rating of 95.8 points per 100, by Hollinger's rating, would be good enough for best defense in the League.
The Suns are 3-point shooting maniacs. They average 22.7 three-point attempts per game, and they convert at a mind-numbing rate of 43.4% from that range. Last night, the Lakers defended the arc very well, holding the Suns to a mere 13 attempts, of which they made only four. For the mathematically challenged, that's 30.8% shooting from distance. For some perspective, note that if they shot that poorly from three all season, it would rank them 23rd in the NBA in 3-point accuracy, instead of where they currently rank — first.
They also rank 3rd overall in total field goal percentage, at 49.3%. The Lakers held them to 44.6% on the night. Solid.
Phoenix didn't break 30 points in any quarter. They were held to 22 or less in three out of four.
Some subjective observations: Ron Artest was awesome as ever on D. Five steals, very disruptive overall, and never gave up on a single play. I was also very pleased with our bigs' defense. Taking a page from Toronto's playbook (I can't believe I just typed that; Toronto is ranked dead last in defense), LA switched on screen-rolls with Nash, sending Gasol or Bynum out to challenge the floppy-haired Canadian. I was impressed with both big men, who were very active defensively, moving their feet and generally preventing Nash from getting by them and into the paint. Great effort there, and great result overall. They didn't shut him down, but they kept him pretty quiet, at 12 points and 10 assists.
Final thought on last night's defense, back to offensive/defensive ratings: Tallying a defensive rating that, if maintained over the course of the season, would rank the Lakers first in the league, against the best offense in the league? Yeah, I'd say that's pretty damn good defense.

Offense

The Lakemen are slowly climbing their way up the ranks in Offensive Efficiency. They're still ranked only 13th overall, but the offense has actually been quite good of late, and their rating is slowly increasing. Last night, they scored 121.0 points per 100 by Hollinger's formulaic rating — a number matched identically, in this case, by Dex's more accurate exact count, which yielded 1.21 PPP. For perspective: Phoenix boasts the best offensive rating in the League, a point better than 2nd-ranked Denver, at 112.1 points per 100 (1.12 PPP); last night, the Lakers were 9 points per 100 better than that.
21 three-point attempts, 10 makes, which is a conversion rate of 47.6% from distance. Yeah, they stole the Suns playbook on that one. Ron Artest, Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Shannon Brown, and Jordan Farmar — all hit at least 50% of their three-point attempts.
26 free throws earned, a very solid rate of 0.32 FTA/FGA, and converted at a very high rate of 84.6%. Ron Artest didn't miss a single freebie.
The Suns doubled heavily in the paint, since the Lakers destroyed them down there last time. The Lake Show simply responded by hitting jumpers, knocking down threes, and passing out of the double team down low. On a couple occasions, I was very pleased to see Bynum take a page from Gasol's playbook, drawing the double with his back to the basket and then dumping the ball off to his low post-mate.
Good ball control. A temporary lapse in the second quarter, where they committed six turnovers, but only 11 overall — and only one in each of the first and third quarters.
Six guys in double figures, including two off the bench. (I'm telling you, the more I see the Farmar/Brown lineup, the more I love it.)

Bench Play

I've decided to refer to the reserve lineup that Phil Jackson plays when it still matters — typically, in the 2nd and early 4th quarters, and sometimes in the 3rd — as the Bench Unit. This is the lineup that features Jordan Farmar, Shannon Brown, and Lamar Odom (or at least two of those three), but NOT Sasha Vujabric, Adam Morrison, Josh Powell, or DJ Mbenga. The lineup featuring Vujabric/Morrison/Powell/Mbenga, usually accompanied by either Farmar or Brown, is what I will refer to as the GarbageTime Unit. It's nothing revolutionary, just calling a spade a spade, since the GTU guys simply do not play when it still matters.
The Bench Unit was very good last night. They were part of a 2nd-quarter 8-0 run, and a 3rd-quarter 15-1 run (that's where the game was decided, going from a still-in-question 9-point game at 72-63 to an insurmountable 23-point lead at 87-64). They also managed to play even in the first half of the fourth quarter, responding to a mini-run by Phoenix which cut the lead to 13 thanks mainly to a pair of threes by Shannon Brown, which pushed the lead back to the 20-point margin the Lakers ended the game with.
The Lakers won every quarter but the fourth, and they only lost the fourth by 1 point.
The GarbageTime Unit didn't lose a single inch. The Bench Unit lost only 1 point to Phoenix in the first part of the fourth quarter, but held a 20-point lead when the GTU replaced them. The GTU held its own and ended the game with that same 20-point lead.

Individual Play

Kobe Bryant. Awesome as usual. 26 points on only 16 FGAs. 9-16 from the field, 50% on threes, 7 rebounds, only one turnover, 8 trips to the line, in a pretty average 36 minutes.
Ron Artest. As I already mentioned, 5 steals, very disruptive overall, never gave up on defense. Lights out from three (3-5), hit all his free throws. 15 points on 11 FGAs, along with 5 assists. Solid.
Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol. 5-9 shooting for Bynum, 6-10 for Gasol. 13 points for Bynum, 14 for Gasol. Between them, 10 rebounds, 5 assists, and only one free throw miss and one turnover. Played very well together offensively, and both were excellent on defense. Bynum even attempted a 3-point attempt (didn't have much choice), which almost bounced in (factoring out that desperation attempt, he was 5-8 from the field).
Lamar Odom with the little things. 8 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal.
The Point Guards. All three of them. Good three point shooting, good defense, good energy.

Final Thoughts

It's worth noting that Phoenix was once again playing on the second half of a back to back, in Los Angeles. Not ideal circumstances. On the other hand, the Suns are a good team, and good teams pose a serious threat even on the second half of a back to back, on the road. Yes, it was a bit of an advantage for the Lakers, but don't undervalue the effort they gave or the credit they deserve for this win. They controlled this game in every way, and it wasn't because Phoenix didn't come to play.

Speaking of controlling the game: The Suns play at a pace of 98 possessions per game. The Lakers play at a similar pace of 97.8 possessions per game. Nonetheless, because of the Suns' ability to run with Nash and to take high percentage threes in transition, as well as the Lakers ability to dominate in the post, and in the half-court set in general, I think it's safe to say that in this particular matchup, a slower game is a good idea for the Lakers. With that in mind, the pace of the game was yet another thing the Lakemen controlled very well, as the game went 89.5 possessions (89 for LA, 90 for for Phoenix).

Bottom line: Another game, another blowout.

Lakers-Suns Preview

DexterFishmore — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 18:00:16 -0000

All right, rockers, it's time to get serious. We've been in high spirits the past two days toasting the Great Bank Bailout of 2009, but tonight we've got new guests arriving. They're not as fun and easygoing as the Miami Heat, and if the Lakers don't tighten their act up from what we saw on Friday night, the game won't end quite so festively.

On Friday, the Heat high-pick-and-rolled the Lakers nearly to death. It's been lost amid the Kobe glee, but the Laker defense was inept for most of the game. Repeatedly Dwyane Wade broke free off a high screen, drove the lane unharassed and either finished at the rim, went to the line or found one of his big men for an open look. The Lakers appeared baffled by this 100-year-old tactic, and if the Heat hadn't missed 15 free throws or Kobe's heave had been two inches off to either side, the D-grade D would have been the story of the game.

Now arrive the Phoenix Suns, deadly masters of the pick-and-pop, drive-and-dish and numerous variations thereon. Last time they darkened the Lakers' door, on November 12th, they got hammered for their troubles, losing by a cool 19 points. They were playing part deux of a back-to-back, as they will be tonight. Then again, Miami had the same difficulty on Friday, and that and three bucks bought us a cup of coffee.

The Suns don't have the same buzz around them these days as they did in November, when they were the hot team du jour, but their resumé is still very solid. They're only a game behind the Lakers in the standings, and they held the league's best record until an out-of-nowhere loss to the Knicks last week. Following that up by getting rocked in Cleveland didn't help their Q rating, but they handled a game Sacramento team last night to get back in whack. Their Offensive Rating of 112.5 is first in the league, and their death-dealing three point attack gives them a puncher's chance against anyone.

Of the basic activities that take place on a basketball court - turnovers, shooting, rebounding, fouling and getting fouled - shooting is the most important. Shooting accuracy, as measured by Effective Field-Goal Percentage, predicts game outcome better than any other metric. Those other things are important too, but none as much as shooting well, and Phoenix does that one thing better than anyone else in the NBA.

About 28% of the Suns' field-goal attempts are from three-point range, which is the third highest rate in the league, and they make an insane 44% of those tries, first in the league. They boast a team Effective FG% of 56%, also first. They don't take care of the ball well, and they're below average in getting to the line and rebounding their misses, but their ridiculous shooting means their offense is great anyway. Basically, they bomb away from outside and see if you keep up.

What makes tonight's matchup so interesting, schematically, is that the Laker D excels like no other at forcing missed shots. The Lakemen have allowed opponents an Effective FG% of only 46% and a three-point accuracy of only 30%, both tops in the NBA. They were strong in these metrics last year and are even better now, thanks in no small part to Ron Artest and the (nearly) full-time service of Andrew Bynum. When the Suns have the ball, it'll be a bellwether, strength-on-strength contest of elite units.

When these two teams played in November, Phoenix had a ghastly shooting night, managing an EFG of only 40%. Amare Stoudamire, who bricked 13 of 15 field goal attempts, was especially brutal. The Suns won't shoot that badly again, but remember that last time around, Pau Gasol was out. His length on the inside will make clean looks for La Soudamire and any other Sun who visits the paint even harder to come by.

The other roster difference this time around is the absence of Leandro Barbosa, who's out with a sprained ankle. I wouldn't call this a crippling blow or anything, but it's more important than you might think. Barbosa was playing 21 minutes a night and showing superlative plus-minus numbers. Per 100 possessions, Phoenix was 4.4 points better with him on the court than without. His shelving has meant more minutes for second-year lefty Goran Dragic, about whom the numbers are conflicted. His assist rate is strong and his shot is improving, but his plus-minus stats are ugly. At least he and Sasha Vujacic can chat together about Slovenia during shootaround.

The Lakers will need to keep close track of both Jason Richardson, who's hitting 44% of his threes, and Channing Frye. I've remained highly skeptical of Frye and his newly developed three-ball range, but damned if he isn't proving me wrong. He's hit an absurd 47% of his money shots on the year.

Also, I'm not sure this "Stephen Nash" guy they've been touting is for real.

(One other trend line to note before we move on from the Phoenix O: the Suns have been awfully loose with the rock lately. Over their past five games, they've turned it over on 17% of their possessions. Not good, gentlemen.)

So Phoenix knows how to accrue pointage. Fair enough. It's not clear, though, that they're at all equipped to slow the Laker attack. The November game served mostly as a chance for Bynum to build up his All-Star credentials, as he destroyed Amare to the tune of 26 points and 15 boards. Even physical, well-regarded post defenders like Emeka Okafor and Nene have struggled to control the Laker big man this year, and as a defender Amare is - how to put this nicely - neither physical nor well regarded.

Furthermore, at the risk of repeating myself: Pau Gasol. He didn't play in November; he will tonight. Pau gives Phoenix yet another post player they probably can't really really deal with.

The Suns are just a poor defensive team, ranking 23rd in the league in points allowed per possession, and it's this shortcoming that keeps them a level below the Lakers in the NBA food pyramid. They don't force turnovers, they allow opponents to shoot pretty well, and they're the worst defensive rebounding team in the league. Over their past five games, they've allowed foes to rebound 34% of their misses, which is bad but only a few ticks higher than their full-season rate of 31%.

You know when the Lakers miss a shot, and Pau, Drew and Lamar Odom just keep volleyballing it around until it goes in? We could see a lot of that tonight.

Over this five-game stretch, the Suns have surrendered 1.13 PPP to their opponents. That group includes strong offenses like Toronto and Cleveland, but also total crap offenses like New York and Minnesota. The Lakers have adjustments to make from their recent outings, smarter and more disciplined pick-and-roll defense foremost among them, but so do the Suns.

Kobe scored 29 against Phoenix last time around, and he knows the Lakers played poorly on Friday. He's irked about it. He should be attacking from the start. The Suns don't have an answer for them either, so they'll need their threes to rain down like a desert squall.

	Lakers	Suns
*RECORD*	15-3	15-5
*NET POINTS PER GAME*	+7.7 (3rd)	+4.6 (8th)
*PACE*	98.1 (6th)	98.5 (4th)
*OFFENSIVE RATING*	105.0 (14th)	112.5 (1st)
Turnover Rate (Off.)	13.0% (6th)	14.5% (21st)
FTA/FGA (Off.)	0.26 (25th)	0.30 (18th)
Free-Throw %	74.9 (15th)	73.3 (22nd)
Effective FG% (Off.)	50.2 (14th)	56.1 (1st)
True Shooting% (Off.)	53.8 (17th)	59.2 (1st)
Off Rebounding Rate	27.6% (11th)	26.9% (14th)
*DEFENSIVE RATING*	97.6 (3rd)	106.9 (23rd)
Turnover Rate (Def.)	14.5% (12th)	11.9% (28th)
FTA/FGA (Def.)	0.28 (8th)	0.25 (1st)
Effective FG% (Def.)	46.0 (1st)	50.1 (20th)
True Shooting% (Def.)	50.5 (1st)	53.3 (13th)
Def Rebounding Rate	72.2% (20th)	69.4% (30th)

All statistical terms defined here. Parentheses indicate league rankings. Numbers are courtesy of Basketball Reference and HoopData and, except for record and net points per game, are through Friday night's action.

Lakers-Heat Preview

DexterFishmore — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 18:00:25 -0000

The Miami Heat look like a team that's ready to get owned. They arrived in Los Angeles early this morning having absorbed an 18-point nutshot in Denver last night. When they play at Staples this evening, it'll be their sixth game in 10 days. The six opponents they'll have faced in that stretch have a combined winning percentage of 0.694. Of the Heat's last four wins, three have come by a single point, including "victories" over NBA speedbags New Orleans and, ahem, New Jersey.

Also, their opponent tonight is the Lakers, who are rested and vibing on a streak of seven straight blowouts.

Other than that, this matchup looks great for Miami.

Tonight will be the first time this year the Lakers have seen the Heat up close, but their roster isn't much different than when we all last hung out. It's still Dwyane Wade, a couple respectable supporting players, and then trash all the way down. As you'll recall, team president Pat Riley tried to poach Lamar Odom over the summer. Tried, and failed.

It feels like Wade's been in the league a decade, but he's still only 28 and he remains a stellar talent. His production this year has, however, slipped from "unbelievably awesome" to merely excellent. From last season's MVP-caliber numbers, his assist rate is down and his shooting is way down. Wade's effective field-goal percentage has fallen from 52% last year to only 45% this year.

A look at his shot-location chart at HoopData reveals the problem: Wade isn't getting to the rim nearly as much. In 2008-09 he attempted 7.5 shots at the rim per game, a rate that's dropped to 6.1 per game - still good but not otherworldly. All those layups and dunks are being replaced by midrange looks out to 15 feet, where he (like most everyone else) isn't as proficient. He's also going through a serious three-point slump, having made only 2 of 18 over the past five games. Wade has remained highly productive because he gets to the free-throw line at an insane rate and does so many other things well aside from scoring, but he's not playing like a Jordanesque talent capable of plucking a road win from the Lakers.

Miami's second option on offense is highly decorated weed aficionado Michael Beasley. The Beez can score some, but his per-game average of 15+ overstates his value because he uses so many possessions to get there. For some reason he thinks he's a three-point shooter and will jack up a couple per game. This is great news for Heat opponents because he's been hitting less than 25%.

Starting point guard Mario Chalmers and center Jermaine O'Neal are decent role-players, nothing more. Chalmers doesn't use a lot of possessions, but he's an important cog in the Miami offense. With him on the floor, they've scored 14 points more per 100 possessions than when he's on the bench. O'Neal's enjoying a modest bounce-back season, and good on him for that. He's nonetheless likely to get worked by Andrew Bynum.

(Remember when the Lakers almost traded Bynum for O'Neal? Yikes.)

O'Neal is backed up by Udonis Haslem, who has his uses, but the rest of the Heat rotation is beyond feeble. Quentin Richardson or James Jones, neither of whom should be getting minutes in the NBA, will start at small forward. Somehow they make about $12 million combined. Q Rich has played almost 400 minutes this year and attempted only one free throw, which he missed. Daequan Cook plays 18 minutes a night but still finds time to jack up 4-5 threes every game. He makes less than a third of those attempts and shoots even worse on his twos. You have to admire his self-confidence, I guess.

(Seriously, the next time you're pissed off about the Lakers' bench, go look at the numbers for some other teams. There is a lot of nastiness out there. Bad benches are the rule in the NBA, not the exception.)

Miami will have to deal with at least two other problems that jump out at me from the numbers. One is that their defense is really starting to crack. In the table below, I've listed their points allowed per possession in each of their last five games. The league average, keep in mind, is slightly less than 1.07 PPP.

Opponent	PPP Allowed
Orlando	1.09
Washington	1.08
Boston	1.06
Portland	1.15
Denver	1.24
Weighted Average	1.12

Wade and Chalmers make up a pretty good defensive backcourt, but O'Neal isn't nearly the defender he once was, and Beasley is downright awful. As we've already seen in so many games this year, Bynum and Pau Gasol are going to get a ton of excellent looks. Miami can mitigate the problem by subbing in Haslem for Beasley, but that move comes at an obvious cost on offense. Against this Lakers team, there's just nowhere to hide a bad frontcourt defender.

The other big problem is that Miami is one of the jump-shootingest teams in the league, and they're going to be playing tonight on dead legs. Thanks again to HoopData, we know they take fewer shot attempts at the rim per game than any other squad. Having played at altitude yesterday and traveled overnight, the Heat could be in for a hugely sucky shooting performance.

If absolutely everything were clicking and Wade were in vintage form, I could imagine Miami giving the Lakers a game. At the moment, thought, the conditions just aren't right - quite the opposite, in fact. This looks to me like another tasty beatdown waiting to happen.

I can think of worse ways to start the weekend.

	Lakers	Heat
*RECORD*	14-3	10-8
*NET POINTS PER GAME*	+8.1 (3rd)	-0.3 (16th)
*PACE*	98.3 (6th)	93.2 (27th)
*OFFENSIVE RATING*	104.6 (14th)	103.7 (17th)
Turnover Rate (Off.)	13.3% (11th)	13.1% (7th)
FTA/FGA (Off.)	0.26 (25th)	0.33 (9th)
Free-Throw %	74.4 (19th)	75.4 (16th)
Effective FG% (Off.)	50.4 (13th)	49.2 (20th)
True Shooting% (Off.)	53.9 (15th)	53.8 (17th)
Off Rebounding Rate	27.1% (13th)	25.0% (23rd)
*DEFENSIVE RATING*	96.6 (2nd)	101.7 (10th)
Turnover Rate (Def.)	14.6% (11th)	13.4% (17th)
FTA/FGA (Def.)	0.26 (5th)	0.32 (21st)
Effective FG% (Def.)	45.7 (1st)	48.1 (7th)
True Shooting% (Def.)	50.2 (1st)	52.6 (11th)
Def Rebounding Rate	72.6 (19th)	73.7 (13th)

All statistical terms defined here. Parentheses indicate league rankings. Numbers are courtesy of Basketball Reference and HoopData and, except for record and net points per game, are through Wednesday night's action.

Ron Artest, Hennessy and Boxing

aramnath — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 18:25:14 -0000

More photos » by Gus Ruelas - AP

Ron Artest wants to become a professional boxer. (AP Photo/Gus Ruelas)

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It's always been obvious that Ron Artest was a little weird. When I woke up today and saw some excerpts from an interview he did for the December edition of Sporting News Magazine it confirmed that belief. In case you missed it, Artest admits in the interview that during his time playing for the Chiacgo Bulls from 1999-2002 he used to drink Hennessy at halftime.

In case admitting to taking a page out of the Keon "I never played a game sober" Clark's playbook wasn't enough Artest continued on. He discussed his time at St. John's where he revealed that he smoked a lot of reefer (Basketball players smoke pot? Big surprise) and drank every single night.

Did the Bulls really do their research before they drafted this guy? You'd think it wouldn't be to hard to discover if a guy is drinking every night. His college coach stated he did not know Artest had any kind of drinking problem, or more likely ignored obvious signs because Artest was the best player on that team.

Artest also claims that the brawl that started in Detroit was not his fault at all. He can't see one thing that would have changed his decision, well other than God pausing the moment and telling him to stop. Ron iyou probably didn't need to run into the stands and beat the shit out of a guy who wasn't even the one to throw the cup at you.

We also now know that on defense Kobe, Odom, Gasol and the rest of the Lakers are Artest's supporting cast. Ron Ron also states he is one of the greatest defensive players of all time. That explains why last year the Rockets used Battier to defend Kobe in the Western Conference Semi-Finals and Artest stuck with Ariza.

Artest also talked about his decision to become a professional boxer, which he has been training for over the past two years. Within the next four years Artest plans on having his first fight, obviously excluding any bout that takes place between him and Big Ben during the NBA season, who he admits he feels like fighting everytime he sees.

With Friday Night Fights returning to ESPN2, the perfect way to build that up would be to have Artest and Ben Wallace as one of the undercards, hell make them the main event. They could even hold the fight at the Palace for old times sake.

Since Artest has only been able to train on and off for a couple of years, I'm not sure how much his advantage in pure boxing skills would be. It looks like Wallace has a strong jaw and his reach advantage might be enough to offset Artest's technical prowess. I think if push came to shove, Artest is just a crazy ass dude so I would go with Artest with the KO in round 9. Who you got?

Poll

Who wins a 12 round fight between Ron Artest and Ben Wallace?

Pardon Our Bench

DexterFishmore — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:30:11 -0000

About a month into the season, we're starting to know some things about the Los Angeles Lakers. It's still only November, sure. We don't know how strong they'll ultimately be compared to other league powers. But we can start to see the contours of a typical night at the office.

Pau Gasol and Andrew Bynum are a manly inside pair and too much for most teams to handle. Kobe Bryant is still a lethal scorer and playmaking force. Ron Artest is still a splendid defender, and on any given night either he or Lamar Odom will be good for 15 or more points. All of the above was on display against a pathetically overmatched New York Knicks team last night.

And then there's the bench. I'm really sorry to do this, but it's time we talked about the bench. We've put this off long enough.

First, let's be clear who we're talking about. Although Lamar doesn't start when the team's fully healthy, he does play starter's minutes, and his talent and production are not subject to any serious debate. He hasn't always been great so far this year, but we know he's not the problem. When Lakers fans grumble about "the bench," Lamar isn't meant to be included.

What we're really talking about is the play of Jordan Farmar, Shannon Brown, Josh Powell, Luke Walton, DJ Mbenga, Adam Morrison and Sasha Vujacic. Of this group, Walton didn't play last night because of his back injury, and Mbenga and Powell got DNP-CDs. The performances of the other four are cast into unflattering relief by their plus-minus numbers. Farmar, Brown, Morrison and Vujacic averaged a -9 in about 10 minutes of action last night. All but Farmar were on the court when the Knicks ripped off an 11-0 run, which dragged Kobe and Ron back into the game with five minutes left.

If you were surprised that the second unit failed to maintain the Lakers' lead, welcome to the wonderful sport of basketball. I hope you enjoyed your first-ever game.

With about two minutes remaining against the Knicks, Lakers play-by-play announcer Joel Meyers asked rhetorically at what point in the season the Laker reserves would "step up." After the game, sideline man Michael Eaves asked Pau how long he thought it would take for the bench to find its "rhythm." These questions contained an unstated assumption that the Laker bench right now is anomalously underperforming, playing worse than what we should reasonably expect. Is that really the case, though? What precisely are we expecting from these guys?

I'm not implying that the second unit is playing well, mind you. Certainly their job description should include being able to hold a lead against the Knicks, at home. But why do people keep expecting them to transform into game-changing shock troops? Isn't it possible that they're not "inconsistent" or "out of sync," but just not that good?

In the table below I've listed, for each of the Laker reserves in question, their PERs for the last two seasons as well as the season so far. And before you start screaming: no, I'm not suggesting that PER be accepted as an end-all, final-word metric. It's just a useful shorthand for a player's overall production and works fine for the present discussion.

Player	2007-08	2008-09	2009-10
Brown	6.6	13.0	12.8
Farmar	15.3	9.9	10.7
Mbenga	9.4	13.9	10.2
Morrison	DNP	5.7	11.2
Powell	10.4	9.9	10.8
Vujacic	14.9	12.7	6.4
Walton	12.2	11.3	15.0

If there's to be improved play from the bench this year, where's it supposed to come from? Luke was the best reserve before his injury; if he's in decent shape when he returns, the situation won't look quite so grim. But who else?

Shannon, DJ and Powell are all basically performing in line with their respective track records. At age 24, Brown likely has some improvement ahead of him, but he's not going to become a Sixth Man of the Year candidate overnight. Farmar, I'd argue as well, is also more or less where we should expect him to be. With each passing game, his performance in 2007-08 looks increasingly flukish, and his performance last season looks like his real baseline.

Adam Morrison has actually been better than we would've guessed, but no one thinks he's a candidate to be even a league-average player. The dude is simply no es bueno. If he's in the NBA next year, it'll be solely due to residual caché from having been a high lottery pick once upon a time.

The real mystery in all this is Sasha Vujacic, who in three years has gone from good to frustrating to radioactively bad. On the one hand, it seems improbable that he'll remain this terrible; someone his age shouldn't completely fall apart absent an injury. On the other hand, he shows no sign of bouncing back any time soon. He's averaging less than 10 minutes a night and has made only two shots in the last five games. It must be getting hard for Phil Jackson to justify even putting him on the court.

What about help from outside? As Ben R pointed out in the comments last night, two available names are Jerry Stackhouse and Wally Sczcerbiak. If those guys had anything at all left in the tank, they wouldn't be available. There's also Allen Iverson, though it's hard to imagine the Lakers voluntarily stepping on that particular land mine.

A deadline trade will be a possibility, the most likely situation involving cutting bait on Farmar and shipping out Morrison's expiring deal. It's not possible at this point to foretell who might be obtainable in return.

The Lakers, we should probably just admit, are stuck with a subpar bench. The reserves aren't about to "step up" or find "consistency." How the Lakers have won games so far, by overwhelming opponents with top-line talent, is how they'll have to get it done in the foreseeable future. Which might, in fact, be plenty good enough.

Game Preview: Oklahoma City Thunder vs Los Angeles Lakers

C.A. Clark — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:00:27 -0000

More photos » by Mark J. Terrill - AP

26 days ago: Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant wipes his head during the second half of their NBA basketball game against the Chicago Bulls, Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009, in Los Angeles. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

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It's still quite early in the NBA season, so drawing any concrete conclusions from the action thus far is a dangerous exercise. However, there have been quite a few surprise twists at the start of this NBA season. There are exactly zero people in the world who thought the Bucks (or Brandon Jennings) would look so good early on. Not too many had the Spurs pegged for serious early season trouble. The Cavs started off poor before ending up right where everyone thought they'd be. The Suns are way ahead of preseason predictions. Over the next several months, many of these storylines will correct themselves, and a few will stand the test of time and make everyone look like idiots.

Which brings us to tonight's opponent, the Oklahoma City Thunder. They've started the season pretty well, with a 7-6 record that includes road victories over the Spurs and Miami Heat, as well as a home shellacking of the Orlando Magic. They currently sit tied for 7th in the Western Conference, a borderline playoff team. If you were to look at last season, where they started with a record of 3-456 (approximate) and ended up with a record of 23-59, good for 13th in the West, you might think this start would qualify as one of those major surprises I was speaking of earlier. You'd be wrong. This Thunder team is surprising absolutely no one. Just about everyone had them pegged as a much improved team over the last year (mainly due to another year of experience for an extremely young core). Not everyone thinks they'll make the playoffs (and keep in mind one of the teams currently below them is San Antonio), but the consensus around the league is that the Thunder will end up somewhere in the 7-10 range in the Western Conference. There should be no surprise to their season thus far.

After the jump, we'll look at the goings on for both teams, and of course, match-ups

Catching up with the Lakers (9-3, 3rd in West, 105.9 OR, 101.8 DR, 94.6 Pace)

Only one thing needs to be said about any developments regarding the Los Angeles Lakers in the last week. We got back Pau Gasol. As Josh mentioned, having Pau back is wonderful on so many levels. He's incredibly skilled, he gives the Lakers yet another weapon, he allows for the Lakers rotations to go back to their natural place. Many are calling him the best post player in the NBA right now. But for me, the biggest reason why I'm so happy to see Pau is aesthetic. Gasol plays basketball beautifully, and the Lakers play a much more beautiful game with Gasol on the court. With Gasol on the court, the Lakers offense goes from being decently efficient to almost artistic. That is why Pau's return has let us all remember what it was like when things were good. Things are good again.

As one big man came back from injury, the other picked up another malady. Andrew Bynum jammed his ankle in Thursday night's game against the Bulls. However, it's not a serious injury, and on Friday Bynum was already confident he'd be able to go tonight. Keep an eye on his movement out there, but otherwise, don't worry your pretty little head over this.

Catching up with the Thunder (7-6, tied 7th in West, 104.5 OR, 101.1 DR, 91.8 Pace)

You can see all that is good and bad about the Thunder in their play over the last week. They are 3-2 in their last 5 games. See if you can spot the up and down tendencies in a young team. Win @ San Antonio, Loss home vs. LA Clippers, W @ Miami, L @ Orlando, W home vs. Washington. The loss to Orlando in Orlando is completely understandable, especially considering the Magic had a solid revenge factor going for that previously mentioned. But a loss at home against the Clippers, sandwiched between two very decent road wins against good teams, is a clear sign that the Thunder's biggest issue remains inconsistency. At this point, the Thunder are a team that can play with anybody, and if you catch them on an "up" night, you'll be in for a struggle no matter you are. But they can also lose to any team in the league (except the Nets, nobody can lose to the Nets) when that "down" night comes along.

Match-ups

Lakers starting 5: Bynum, Gasol, Artest, Bryant, Fisher

Lakers bench: Farmar, Brown, Odom

Those of you paying attention might have noticed that I only listed 8 players in describing the Lakers personnel tonight. That's no accident. Phil Jackson has experimented as much as he needs to. He's shortening the rotations. In the last two games, after the Lakers lost two in a row to Denver and Houston, the Lakers have only had 8 players play more than 10 minutes in a game. In the back court, Jackson has finally decided which two guards have curried his favor, and it is no surprise to see Sasha "The artist formerly known as The Machine" Vujacic is the odd guard out. Only 5 minutes per game the last two for Sasha, and all playing time has been garbage (the time, not necessarily his play, although it could probably apply to both). In the front court, with Pau returning, you will hardly ever see a time when 2 of Odom, Gasol, and Bynum aren't on the court. And, sadly, with Luke Walton's injury, Ron Artest is being backed up by ... no-one. Any minutes that Artest doesn't play are patched together with Bryant at the SF. You might see some spot minutes by players not included on that list, but none of them will approach 10 minutes per game unless it's a blowout, or there's another injury.

Thunder starting 5: Durant, Green, Krstic, Westbrook, Sefolosha

Thunder bench: Harden, Collison, Thomas, Ollie

Looking at the two rosters, and taking into account the return of Gasol, the Lakers have a ridiculous advantage in the post. Jeff Green is undersized, Krstic is wafer-thin. Bynum and Gasol should destroy the Thunder front line, and the rest of the team should concentrate on getting them the opportunities to do so. Etan Thomas and Nick Collison are more formidable (in size at least) off the bench, but they don't start for a reason. I know it sounds like a broken record, but a Lakers victory lies on the block.

In the first game between these two teams, the Lakers struggled behind a poor shooting night from Kobe (9-22) and a non-existent bench (6 points). In the end, they managed to pull out an OT win, but it was a tough affair that saw starters play heavy minutes (Bynum played more than one normally can in an NBA game, logging over 48 minutes). In the first game, Artest made life hard, but not miserable, on Kevin Durant. 28 points on 24 shots for Durant. I expect roughly the same tonight.

A couple things working in LA's favor tonight vs. the first game. The bench was horrible in the first game, now the bench doesn't play as much, so I'll be surprised if the Thunder can take as much advantage of a 2nd unit that will contain two starters (and Lamar Odom), as opposed to a 2nd unit containing no starters and no Odom. Without those runs against the Lakers bench, the first game would have been a comfortable win for LA. Plus, with Gasol back, it will be impossible to ignore the post as much as happened in the first game. Bynum was 10-15, but nobody gave him the ball down the stretch, so the Lakers did not continue to take advantage of his high efficiency. With two high-efficiency options down low, I'm hoping they will be impossible to ignore.

So, all signs point to a Lakers victory, but do remember that we've already lost at home to Houston, the team we beat in OT on the road the very next night after beating the Thunder in OT on the road. Taking the team lightly is an opportunity for disaster.

LA 108, Chicago 93: Recapping Lakers-Bulls, Pau Gasol Style

Josh Tucker — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:00:31 -0000

by Noah Graham - NBAE/Getty Images

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Welcome back, Pau Gasol.

Thanks for stopping by, Pau Gasol.

So glad you're back, Pau Gasol.

It's true; sometimes, this Lakers team can be so ridiculously talented that when a guy like Gasol sits out the first eleven games of the season, you can almost forget just how much you miss him. Almost.

When things don't quite seem to fit, you think to yourself that this team is far, far too talented not to be destroying everybody they meet. But things look awkward, not quite right. Something is wrong; what's the problem?

And then he comes back, and life is easy and grand and beautiful, with everything in its right place, and you remember. Not that he's good — you were never that forgetful. But you remember just how good he is, and everything he does for this team.

Thank you, Pau Gasol.

Remember the part about how Gasol hasn't played in several weeks, and therefore could be kinda rusty? You know how sometimes, when coming back from injury, big men like Bynum need some time to find their timing again? Not an issue for Pau Gasol.

Gasol played nine minutes in first quarter, shooting 4-5 in the period for 10 points, along with four rebounds, two of them offensive. The Lakers jumped out to a quick 25-19 lead, and the rest of the game followed suit, with the Lakers winning the first three quarters by a steady average of six points, and playing the Bulls evenly in a final period that was nothing more than a formality. Just like that, Pau Gasol was back.

Rusty, he was not. He scored 24 points while taking only 15 shots, connecting on almost two thirds of them (nine). Talk about efficiency. At the same time, his timing was good enough for 13 rebounds, including seven offensive.

Fatigue may have been a factor—he said he was "looking forward to the first timeout," and was glad for the longer timeouts of nationally televised games—but if so, it didn't show in the amount or quality of the minutes he played. Phil Jackson had said prior to the game that he would be happy with 25 minutes from Gasol; instead, Gasol gave him a full 35. And if he was tired, he fooled me. He ran the floor, was often one of the first down on offense, and got back quickly back on defense. He challenged shots, fought hard for rebounds, played solid defense. Sure, he may have been thoroughly winded when it was all over, but he certainly didn't play like a guy who couldn't catch his breath.

Meanwhile, Gasol's presence had a positive ripple effect throughout the entire Lakers roster. As Kenny "The Jet" Smith pointed out in the TNT postgame show, Gasol's return put everyone back in their natural positions. It also bolstered the bench, allowing Lamar Odom to return to his role as sixth man and bench leader and anchor. Gasol's presence also enabled Jackson to use more mixed lineups — two bench players with three starters, or three bench players with two starters, instead of simply swapping out entire five-man starting and replacement units.

Andrew Bynum had a quiet night, with "only" 11 points and eight rebounds, but don't be fooled. J.A. Adande is wrong when he says that Gasol's return negatively affected Bynum's production. In reality, it was poor shooting and a minor injury that resulted in a lower point total for our budding young center. A sprained ankle caused him to play only 24:16; meanwhile, he took 12 shots, which is only two fewer than his average for the year, and pretty consistent with his average over the last three games (12.6).

I don't know about you, but the fact that he got off 12 shots and pulled down eight rebounds while playing 13.5 fewer minutes than usual because of that ankle doesn't say to me that Gasol's presence is hindering Bynum's production. If anything, it was a simple off night that resulted in a lower point total for Bynum, as he missed several shots he usually makes. In his previous nine games, Bynum has shot the ball at a rate of 59.1%. Had he shot that well on his 12 shots tonight, he'd have had 15 points. Then, if we compensate for his shortened minutes, we find that, had he played his usual minutes, he would have scored 23 points on the night.

While Andrew's minutes may go down a bit overall, even when he's not tweaking his ankle, I think it's safe to say that Gasol's presence on the court had nothing at all to do with Bynum's lessened production. Assuming he still plays 32-35 minutes, I see no reason why Bynum can't continue to be a 20/10 guy, or something close to it.

Kobe Bryant struggled with his shot, but I got the impression (as did several others) that he's simply adjusting to the changes in dynamics with Gasol back on the court. He's spent 11 games working out of the post and in the paint, and now he's back to spending a bit more time on the perimeter. He'll probably still get a few more inside touches than he did last year, and obviously it shouldn't take long for him to adjust back to a balance of perimeter and post play, but last night, it seemed a simple case of readjustment. His shots were good ones, for the most part, and several of them barely rimmed out.

On the other hand, the rest of his game was quite good. In addition to 21 points, he had nine rebounds, eight assists, and only one turnover. While I could care less about the assists—it's an incomplete and misleading statistic—I did like his passing and his approach to the game overall. It's not necessarily that he had more of a passing mentality, and less of a shooting one; it's simply that in the past 11 games, this team has needed him to score first and foremost. With Gasol back and not missing a beat, that need was immediately less pronounced, freeing Kobe up to play a more rounded game, and he did just that.

I have to talk about Ron Artest. I can't be excited enough about this guy. First, let's talk overall. How fortunate are the Lakers to have a guy like Ron Artest, who has been the top dog on his team for most of his career, to essentially play the role of defensive specialist? I'll answer that for you: very. Loul Deng came into the game averaging 17.4 points per game on 46.1% shooting from the field. Ron Artest simply shut him down, and it didn't even seem like a big deal. 3-11 shooting for Deng, for a grand total of six whopping points. He was a non-factor for the game, and that was Artest's doing.

But it's more than that. This is a guy whose actions (and just plain craziness), for most of his career, have demanded attention. It was impossible not to notice Artest. With the Lakers, so far, you could almost miss him if you weren't paying attention. And understand me here; this is a very good thing. You're not noticing him disrupting the offense. You're not noticing him jacking up bad shots (well, aside from not one, but two straight backwards, over-the-head layup attempts, last night). You're not noticing him shooting poor percentages and taking the Lakers out of their game offensively. You're not noticing him being a disruption off the court, or picking up technical fouls and threatening to fly off the handle on it.

And if you're busy watching Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant, and Andrew Bynum, you might not be noticing him making plays, passing, setting up teammates, defending, rebounding, deferring, and making virtually all of the right decisions. You might not be noticing him putting in constant effort, never relaxing or playing lazy. And you might not notice him making life in general easier for Kobe Bryant and everyone else around him.

Oh, and by the way, lost in Pau Gasol's return and Kobe Bryant's rebounding and distributing against the Bulls were Artest's 15 points, 5 rebounds, 3 assists, 3 steals, and only one turnover. He made half of his three-point attempts (2-4) and his only free throw (woo!). And while he took 13 shots to score 15 points, that line is deceptive, since he had four offensive rebounds. As you may recall from Dex's intro lesson on advanced statistics, possessions with one or more offensive rebounds still only count as a single possession for the Lakers. And since three of those four offensive rebounds were on his own misses, it turns out that he actually scored 15 points on only 10 offensive possessions, or 1.5 points per possession. And that is very efficient basketball.

Shoutouts to Derek Fisher and Lamar Odom, both of whom shot well from the field (Fish 5-5, Odom 4-7) and from long distance (Fish 2-2, Odom 2-4), adding a couple assists each. Odom also chipped in with 8 rebounds, one of four Lakers to collect at least 8 boards. Jordan Farmar also played fairly well overall, making good decisions even while the rim wasn't kind to him, and adding a couple assists and three steals to his eight points in 20 minutes.

Overall, the stats confirm what our eyes told us, that the Lakers dominated the Bulls on both ends of the court. They scored 1.09 points per possession while holding the Bulls to 0.96 points per possession. They controlled the offensive and defensive boards, rebounding 28% of their misses while allowing the Bulls to rebound only 21.7% of theirs. The Lakers had nine turnovers in the first half, but brought things under control with only three in the second, committing 12 turnovers overall to the Bulls' 15.

My favorite things from a team perspective, however, were the points in the paint and the game flow chart. In the former, the Lakers held a 60-40 advantage, scoring 55.6% of their points in the paint. Borat say, very nice! The game flow chart, meanwhile, shows a consistent effort from start to finish from the Lakers, and that's something I like. Rather than coming out flat and then building up to take back control, or starting strong and then letting the Bulls back in before gritting out the win, the Lakers steadily outperformed the Bulls from beginning to end. Hell, even a garbage time lineup featuring Adam Morrison, DJ Mbenga, Josh Powell (who is solid, but not when he shares the court with Mbenga), and Sasha "The Broken Beyond Repair Machine" Vujabric managed to more or less keep pace with the Bulls.

Not everything was perfect for the Lakers, but the signs were very promising. The passing was well-intended, but at times sloppy and imprecise. This will improve as the Lakers grow more comfortable with their current lineup, and as Ron Artest becomes more comfortable in the triangle and playing with Gasol. Things were sloppy at times, but don't underestimate the balancing and spacing effect Gasol has on the entire offense. As these guys get more comfortable with each other, and with Gasol in the mix, I expect the passing to become crisp and precise, a true thing of beauty, and the offense overall to begin running at a level we have not yet seen this year.

And that's what tonight's game was: A thoroughly enjoyable display, a strong reminder of the countless things Gasol does for this team, and a promise of how good these Lakers—already one of the best teams in the league even without Gasol—can be now that he's back. As Timbo said in last night's game thread, what the Lakers with Gasol aren't additively better than they were without him, they are exponentially better. Expect the various power rankings to start changing in the Lakers favor.

In Soviet Russia, Nuggets Serve You

DexterFishmore — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 16:00:36 -0000

We can draw a pretty straight line between the Los Angeles Lakers' Thursday night rout of the Phoenix Suns and their Friday night rout by the Denver Nuggets. The two games are diagnostic equivalents. Both contests pitted Western Conference contenders against each other. In both games the visiting team was on the tail end of a back-to-back, having played at home the night before. In both games the host team treated its guests as disposable chew-toys.

So if you want to enshrine the Lakers' performance on Thursday night as a show of dominance, you have to do the same for the Nuggets. Or, if you want to write off the Lakers' faceplant in Denver as a forgivable sign of fatigue and ultimately sans meaning, you have to give Phoenix the same benefit of the doubt. There's no having it both ways ‘round here.

Me, I'm checking the box next to "meaningless." Playing on the road having traveled the night before is a tough gig that made both the Suns and Lakers look worse than they are. Almost as tough a gig, in fact, as writing about all the ways the Lakers sucked yesterday!

Like many Friday nights that end in humiliation, last night began with so much promise. The Lakers showed up for their date with their shoes shined, their breath fresh and a lightly applied coat of Drakkar Noir (the scent of kings!). No one would guess they'd been out late getting hammered on Patron the night before and were mere hours away from yakking all over themselves.

Four possessions into the game, the Lakers led 8-0. That was the high point of the evening. Quickly the Nuggets gathered themselves and began to outplay the Lakes. Forceful defense kept Kobe Bryant and Andrew Bynum from finding their preferred post-up spots, and on O a dedication to attacking the hoop kept sending Denver to the free-throw line. The Nuggets led by only four at half, but cracks in the Laker edifice were showing. It wasn't the same efficient unit that had just finished brutalizing the Suns.

Even early in the game, the Nuggies weren't allowing Kobe to get into an offensive flow. Arron Afflalo, who drew the defensive assignment, played Kobe as well as anybody has this year, and Denver brought help with occasional double-teams. The variety of the looks seemed to throw El Mamba off kilter a bit. Not that he was getting loads of amazing help from his teammates or anything.

Bynum had a decent game overall, but the Nugget bigs were more up to the task of guarding him than were the Phoenix welterweights. Lamar Odom had a nicely active first half, and Ron Artest hit a couple threes to help keep it close. But Derek Fisher couldn't get it rolling, repeatedly banging front rim - stop giggling! - on makeable looks, and the bench of course did nothing. On D the Laker rotations were slow, and the whole operation looked sloggy. Denver perimeter weapons Carmelo Anthony, J.R. Smith and Ty Lawson were having their way.

The third period was an utter shitstorm, a grotesque carnival of substandard hoopage. In 22 possessions the Lakers scored eight points. Eight. If you spent the quarter counting Laker points on your fingers, you wouldn't even have needed them all. (Unless you've been involved in a horrible lawnmover incident.) It was the worst quarter the Lakers have played since... I don't know, sometime last year. Possibly since Game Six in Boston.

The Laker collapse read to me as a product of fatigue and altitude. There was no fuel to fight for inside position. Every trip down seemed to end in a turnover or flat outside J. There was no resolve to interfere with Denver cutters or keep them off the offensive glass. Phil Jackson couldn't be troubled to call a timeout, even when the Nugs rang up 10 straight out of the locker room. It was a failure of the Lakers operating system from top to bottom.

By the end of the third, a Nugget layup drill had broken out, and it was all garbagio time from there. Kobe, Lamar and Ron sat out the fourth entirely. By the time the Denver stat-padding reached a merciful end, the score was 105-79. The Lakers allowed 1.14 points per possession, which is bad, but scored only 0.86 PPP, which is way, way worse. You typically don't see offenses this impotent unless they're in Minnesota or Charlotte.

It's almost as if the Lakers needed another player out there last night. Something in a power forward, perhaps... seven feet tall would be good. Someone who could take the scoring pressure off Kobe and Bynum, and help toughen up defense in the paint. Yeah, with a couple All-Star Games under his belt. The Prophecy does speak of such a creature....

Aw, who am I kidding? We'll never find a player like that. Everyone knows they're made up, like unicorns and girls who'll talk to me.

Wouldn't it be nice, though?