SB Nation - Anthony Tucker

Big Ten Basketball Power Rankings: Creed Style (again)

BoilerTMill — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 01:22:26 -0000

I can't believe I have made it almost to the end of December without doing a themed Power Rankings. That's just not right, especially since we had the epic works of Keanu on the last rankings done for football. Never fear though. The power rankings have now returned with the Big Ten season officially getting under way. Most teams have wrapped up their non-conference schedules, so it means we have an idea of who is good and who is not. That leads me into the theme.

I think you can agree that the Big Ten as a whole is a little bit off from what we expected. Michigan has underperformed. Iowa and Indiana are worse than we expected. Even Northwestern is off from its usual norms as the Wildcats threaten to get their first ever NCAA bid without their best player. We don't know what to think as we head into conference play, but we do know it will be entertaining. You know who else is a little off, but entertaining as hell? Creed Bratton.

That's right, the lovable, nutty old guy from the office. Creed is probably my favorite character on The Office, simply because he is so out there. Even though he usually only has a handful of lines in each episode, they are often memorable. That is especially true of his talking head interviews. What follows is my ranking of the Big Ten with each team given a great Creed Bratton line to describe its personality.

Michael: Someone complained that the men's room is "whites only." Stanley, you know that's not true.
Stanley: I didn't say that.
Creed: Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?

Purdue (11-0) - I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader. - I had to give us this quote because we are the leaders of the cult that insists defense is an integral part of the college game and can win you championships. For being such an ugly league last season, it is amazing that we had seven NCAA berths and two more teams (Northwestern and Penn State) that were in the discussion. That's making money as a leader. When you think about it, isn't following the Big Ten in football or basketball like a cult anyway? You dress in certain colors. You all attend the largest gatherings en masse. You fiercely defend your beliefs. You give them money in terms of donations. The question for the conference as a whole is: Are we leaders or followers?
Ohio State (10-2) - The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did... when I was a homeless man. - This fits Ohio State because they are starting to come along without Evan Turner, thereby doing whatever it takes to survive. I saw them in person against Butler and this is a very good team even without Turner. Losing a close game to North Carolina and at Butler are not bad losses. They have enough talent to stay afloat in what should be a fun race until Turner comes back too. Dallas Lauderdale, if he can ever develop a move aside from the open thunderdunk, is dangerous.
Michigan State (9-3) - A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody's business. I'd like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I'd also like to see her topless. - Okay, Michigan State, I want to see you put it all together. You are the only team with the conference with enough talent to compete with the above two. In fact, you might be better. The fact remains, you are 0-3 in your real tests this season. As Florida drops more and more games that loss looks even worse. Yes, I am aware that the Texas and North Carolina losses were on the road, but you looked good in neither. Michigan State playing like it can play is like seeing Pam topless.
Northwestern (10-1) - Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma. 'Cause I don't. If this gets out, they won't let me scuba. And if I can't scuba, what am I working toward? - That is what Northwestern is saying right now with 10 wins in late December without Kevin Coble. Someone saying they can't win without Kevin Coble is like Creed having asthma and not being able to scuba. The only thing Northwestern is working for this year is that elusive NCAA berth. They won't win the Big Ten or be a Final Four threat and they are fine with that. With 10 wins in conference play (looking more possible, by the way) they can finally scuba. The idea of a nerdy kid with asthma trying to be athletic is also a solid parallel.
Wisconsin (8-2) - Every week, I'm supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off, this happens. - This explains Wisconsin's loss to Wisconsin-Green Bay, which is what keeps them behind Northwestern because it is a worse loss than Butler beating Northwestern. As the flagship institution in the state of Wisconsin, the Badgers have an unspoken responsibility to visit or at least play their in-state teams every now and then. It is like us playing Ball State, Indiana State, etc. Instead of having them come to Madison, they blew it off and went to Green Bay. Bad decision. Wisconsin does get bonus points for having the only other top 10 win for the Big Ten in beating Duke.
Minnesota (8-3) - Michael: This is Creed, and he is in charge of... something... right?
Creed: That is correct. - That is how I feel about Minnesota at the moment, but they do get a slight nod over Illinois because the three losses (Portland, Texas A&M, Miami) aren't as bad as Illinois' (Bradley, Georgia, Utah). Minnesota is kind of blah because they haven't really beaten anyone of note. This is the first of the Big Ten bubble teams right here. They haven't really screwed up, but they haven't asserted themselves. They're in charge of... something...right?
Illinois (8-3) - Michael: Okay. Okay, sold! Have fun, you guys. Well, this next item is sure to spring steam from your ears if you don't win it. It just says "Creed."
Creed: Yeah, that's all-inclusive. - Another vague explanation from Creed for another vague team. They have a better win than Minnesota with the amazing come from behind W at Clemson, but losing at Georgia? Seriously? Bradley is a middling MVC team as well. We don't really know what to think of Illinois yet, either. Still, they are a bubble team with plenty of room to improve.
Michigan (6-5) - Angela: I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic. She doesn't struggle when you try to dress her. She's a third-generation show cat. Her father was in 'Meet the Parents.' Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.
Meredith: How much?
Angela: Seven thousand dollars.
Creed: For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. - That is what Michigan has to feel like with a disappointing beginning to what was supposed to be a promising season. Having a pair of players like DeShawn Sims and Manny Harris is like having $7,000 for something, but getting just 6 wins so far is like getting a cat instead of a kid. Sure, they have played a tough schedule, but they should have at least gotten wins over Utah, Boston College, and Marquette.
Penn State (8-4) - I'm not offended by homosexuality. In the 60's I made love to many, many women - often outdoors, in the mud and the rain... and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing. - Was this JoePa in the 60's? Kidding! Seriously though. This is like Penn State bragging about their NIT title and early season conquests. We're not sure if the NIT championship and 8-4 record is good or not, just like Creed doesn't know if he slept with a man. There is no way of knowing. What we do know is they have lost games to UNC Wilmington, Tulane, Virginia Tech, and Temple. Are those good teams? Maybe? They should at least be NIT bound again.
Indiana (5-6) - I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in women's room for number 2. I've been caught several times, and I have paid dearly. - Indiana gets a very slight nod, even with the awful loss to Loyola (MD) above Iowa. The reason: most of Indiana's losses have been to (mostly) good teams and they did get one win over a possible tournament team in Pittsburgh. The quote sums them up perfectly because they are paying dearly still for the Mistake of Sampson.
Iowa (5-7) - What is wrong with this woman? She's asking about stuff that's nobody's business. "What do I do?"... Really, what do I do here? I should've written it down. "Qua" something, uh... qua... quar... quibo, qual... quir-quabity. Quabity assuance! No. No, no, no, no, but I'm getting close. - Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009-10 Iowa Hawkeyes! That is essentially what watching them play basketball is like. I almost went with the quote of "Just pretend like we're talking until the cops leave," because of the Anthony Tucker suspension, but I resisted. Iowa has lost so far to Texas-San Antonio, Wichita State, and in-state games to Northern Iowa and Iowa State for good measure. The Indiana-Iowa games should be relagated to ESPN8, The Ocho.

With that, I wanted to thank everyone for a wonderful first year here at SBNation and wish everyone a Merry Christmas.

College Hoops Go-Round: December 22

Chris Dobbertean — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 15:45:51 -0000

More photos » by Ed Reinke - AP

3 days ago: Kentucky fans hold up the number 2,000 at the beginning of Kentucky's NCAA college basketball game against Drexel in Lexington, Ky., Monday, Dec. 21, 2009. A win by Kentucky would make it the first team in NCAA history to reach 2,000 wins. (AP Photo/Ed Reinke)

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The story of the Monday night before Christmas was third-ranked Kentucky's 88-44 victory over Drexel. The win was the Wildcats' 2000th in program history, making UK the first Division I program to reach that number.

Two doubleheaders provided holiday cheers to fans in New York and Oklahoma City.

Madison Square Garden hosted the Holiday Festival finals.

Davidson took third place thanks to a 61-52 win over coach Bob McKillop's alma mater, Hofstra.
Cornell took the crown with a 71-66 victory over St. John's.

In Oklahoma City, it was a mixed night for the local teams at the All-College Classic.

UTEP blasted Oklahoma, 89-74, thanks to 27 from Randy Culpepper and a double-double from Derrick Caracter.
Meanwhile, Oklahoma State had little trouble with La Salle, prevailing, 77-62.

In other Monday action

No. 12 Kansas State defeated Arkansas-Pine Bluff, 90-76.
South Carolina rebounded from their loss Saturday to Wofford by smashing Furman, 81-57.
Iowa beat South Carolina State in their first game without Anthony Tucker, 82-69.
LIpscomb looked to have won at Arizona, but another clock review meant that Nic Wise's three attempt at the OT buzzer counted. The Wildcats escaped 83-82.
Dayton took out Appalachian State, 65-49.
Houston had no trouble with the Citadel, winning 81-58.
East Tennessee State looks to be a serious contender in the A-Sun, as they blew out preseason favorite Jacksonville, 93-70.
Weber State defeated Cal State Fullerton, 82-71, in the round-robin tournament at Utah State.
The Aggies won their opener over Ohio Valley champ Morehead State, 79-72.
Northern Colorado pounded San Jose State, 93-69.
Montana knocked off Fresno State in Missoula, 59-56, to cap a big night for the Big Sky.
Portland State wasn't a part of it, however. They fell at Boise State, 69-62.
Pacific dropped a close one at Santa Clara, 54-53.
To compound the Big West's misery, Long Beach State lost at Loyola Marymount, who could very well be competitive in the WCC this season, 85-80.

If you don't see your team's result, click any of the score links. You'll find a rundown of all of Monday's scores on the right side of the screen.

For more on Monday's action, visit Searching for Billy Edelin and SB Nation.

After the jump, I'll take a look at a very busy Tuesday.

The two final big exempt tournaments tip off Tuesday.

The inaugural Diamond Head Classic in Honolulu may be light on ranked teams, but there are plenty of interesting storylines. From my Early Season Tournament preview post,

This first year tournament may lack the star power of the other four ESPN-run events, but it should be one of the most wide open and unpredictable events of the season. In the top half of the draw Matt Janning and Northeastern battle St. Mary's (sans Patty Mills of course), while David Kool and Western Michigan hope to spring a surprise on Kevin O'Neill's rebuilding USC. In the bottom half, two teams who spent about an hour and a half together in the WAC, C-USA's SMU and the Mountain West's UNLV meet, with the Chace Stanback and Derrick Jasper-led Rebels thinking of this event as a coming out party. Another school with big plans for this event finds itself in this half of the bracket, as Andrew Goudelock and the College of Charleston, who hope to win the SoCon this year, open with host Hawai'i.

Considering the Rebels have already been ranked once this season, the Trojans seem to have a point guard in newly-eligible Mike Gerrity and the Gaels are doing pretty well without Mills, this should be a thrilling tourney. Here's the schedule for today's quarterfinals. All times are p.m. ET, unless noted.

Northeastern vs. St. Mary's (ESPNU, 3)
Western Michigan vs. USC (ESPNU, 5:30)
SMU vs. UNLV (ESPNU, 10:30)
Charleston at Hawaii (ESPNU, 1 a.m. ET)

The Las Vegas Classic semifinals take over the Orleans Arena Tuesday afternoon. The marquee games were moved up because BYU will be playing in the Las Vegas Bowl this evening, so now Cougar fans can attend both events. Here's what I wrote about this tourney back in November.

Jimmer Fredette, Jonathan Tavernari and Mountain West favorite BYU face a tough test in the semifinals of this event, as they take on Luke Babbitt and Nevada. (I have the feeling the UNLV fans who don't travel to Hawai'i for their tournament will avoid that game.) While Doc Sadler's Nebraska squad will have a hard time with C-USA favorite Tulsa in the other semifinal. In the undercard bracket, Chicago State faces Eastern Washington, while SWAC contender Jackson State takes on NEC strugglers Wagner.

Only one of the two semifinals is on television.

Nevada vs. BYU (Full Court, 3)
Tulsa vs. Nebraska (no TV, 5:30)

There is plenty of other action on tap for Tuesday, with three ranked Big 12 teams -- including the top two teams in the AP poll -- facing big tests.

No.9 Michigan State visits second-ranked Texas, a team who just knocked off 10th-ranked North Carolina Saturday (ESPN2, 7).
California visits No. 1 Kansas in search of a marquee win (ESPN2, 9). Even though this is a Big 12 vs. Pac 10 matchup, it's not part of the Hardwood Series.
However, 19th-ranked Texas A&M's visit to 22nd-ranked Washington is the final game of that event (FSN, 11). The Huskies lost their first game in the Series, a 99-92 overtime loss to then-unranked Texas Tech back on December 3.

In other televised action Tuesday

Maine visits No. 11 Connecticut (Big East/Full Court, 7) and the Huskies hope the Black Bears won't be as hard to beat as UCF was Sunday.
South Alabama heads to Gainesville to take on no. 18 Florida (SEC on CSS/Full Court, 7), who's looking to rebound after two straight semi-home losses.
Transitional D-I member SIU Edwardsville visits no. 4 Purdue (ESPNU, 8) in what should be an easy W for the Boilermakers.
Cleveland State visits no. 17 Ohio State (Big Ten, 8:30), hoping to pull the upset that escaped them on Saturday in Morgantown.
Loyola (MD) travels to Indiana (Big Ten, 6:30).
Ohio plays at Pitt (Big East/Full Court, 7) in a game that should be a lot more interesting than it appears at first glance.
Winthrop is at Cincinnati (FS Ohio/Full Court, 7:30).
CS-Northridge visits Colorado (FS Rocky Mountain/Full Court, 7:30).
North Dakota heads to Iowa State (Full Court, 8).
Murray State heads to Western Kentucky (FCS Atlantic, 9) in what should be a great contest between Ohio Valley and Sun Belt challengers and in-state rivals.
Seattle at Denver (FS Rocky Mountain/FCS Central, 9) is not an NBA game.

For information on tonight's games that will only be televised regionally, like Marshall at No. 10 North Carolina and Oakland at fifth-ranked Syracuse, visit Matt Sarz' College Sports on TV site.

It's Not Plagiarism If You Link To It Spent The Night In A Very Uncomfortable Bed

Oops Pow Surprise — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:00:54 -0000

Jesus Fucking Christ.--Well, we might as well get this out of the way, right? Anthony Tucker, he of the freshman 15 (except instead of getting fat, he missed 15 games for one of any number of problems), is suspended indefinitely from the team. Guess what he's in trouble for. Go on, guess. You'll never guess.

University of Iowa basketball player Anthony Tucker was arrested for public intoxication early this morning.

Officers arrested Tucker, 20, at 2:05 a.m. at The Lodge apartment complex near highway 6, according to police reports. He was taken to the Johnson County Jail and was released between 10 a.m. and 11 a.m. this morning after posting a $325 bond. He has pleaded not guilty.

The police activity log shows officers were called there after receiving a 911 call that "sounded like a problem with a cab and a fare," but the call was disconnected and officers were unable to call back the number.

In the same report, it shows someone tried to assault the cabdriver, but doesn’t say who.

Good lord. As you'll recall, this is not Tucker's first public intox arrest--13 months ago (again, during the season), Tucker got hammered downtown and passed out behind the Union Bar. On a very, very cold night. Once we found out he was going to be okay and that there were no ill effects from Winter Wonderland Naptime, we had an opening on a movie reference we'd never thought we could fit into Hawkeye sports:

We'd Beyond Photoshop Tucker's head onto this, but that would ruin the sheer majesty of Jack Nicholson pretending to be frozen solid in an otherwise awesome movie.

This arrest, though, is substantially more troubling. While his first was just plain overserving to the point of passing out in public--highly inadvisable, but we can chalk that up to an isolated incident of "kid being kid"--this has the potential to be a very serious disciplinary issue for Tucker. Getting a cab back from downtown to the west side of town isn't easy or cheap, and Iowa City cabbies are pretty hit-and-miss when it comes to manners (just ask Adrian Clayborn). Still, it got so heated that someone called 911, and that's definitely not a situation you want your players associated with. Yes yes, we know, innocent until proven guilty, and he pled not guilty. It's still Todd Lickliter's team, not the judge's. Most people get second chances. Not many get thirds.

Speaking of which, the real wild card in all of this isn't how much time Tucker's going to spend planted on the bench (obvious answer: LOTS), but which blood vessel exploded in Todd Lickliter's body when he found out. Seriously, he may as well issue a "God obviously hates me." He's having to deal with this drama, and his old school is beating teams by making time disappear from the clock.

Ken O'Keefe runs away with Headline Of The Year honors with this late stunner--We get what KOK was getting at here, with the defense's motto and all. We get it. But man, can't we get him a dedicated PR agent for Christmas? Or something?

(via HawkeyeSports.com)

How can anybody want this man to be fired? You want him on that sideline. You need him on that sideline.

"Yeah hi, Commissioner Delaney. This is Missouri calling back, just wanting to, y'know, touch base... we were in the shower and thought maybe we heard the phone ring... you have our phone number, cell number, email address, and license plate numbers just in case we're driving and you have to get back to us by having a cop pull us over... just... call us. K, lates."--Even though the Big Ten released only the coyest, noncommittal of statements on the subject last week, it's pretty obvious that the University of Missouri isn't going to miss out on the chance to expand on account of shyness. Missouri's AD, Mike Alden, batted a few eyelashes with TigerExtra.com (terrorist fist jab: Rock M Nation, of course):

I think the challenges we face as a league — and they do impact Missouri — are our television contract and our ability to have equal revenue distribution. I don’t think there’s any question that if we don’t get to that level at some point, we’re going to continue to find ourselves further and further behind the Big Ten, the SEC and probably the ACC, as well as behind Texas and Oklahoma, in particular, and maybe Nebraska in our league. Our hope would be that the league would continue to push harder in those areas, for a new television contract for more exposure and for equal revenue distribution.

This, of course, is all about as helpful as flirting with a stranger in front of your spouse to strengthen your marriage. That said, this isn't exactly a great marriage, since the Big XII treats Missouri about as well as Don Draper treats Betty, and what a handsome, charming, intelligent fellow this Big Ten is. And he's eligible!

Still, it should be noted that Alden doesn't take the bait when it comes to explicitly denouncing the Big XII or explicitly endorsing the Big 10. ADs don't get that high up without being smarter than that. He--like all decently responsible administrators--knows the status quo, while in need of improvement, is still Priority One until he's got an offer in hand from the BXI. That's obviously still a year away if it happens at all, which is hardly a guarantee.

But that's all CYA. The message is loud and clear from Alden: "revenue sharing maintenant," and since the Big XII are still 3-4 years away from being able to renegotiate a laughable $80 million/year deal (over $100 million less than the BXI or SEC), there probably isn't a whole lot the conference can do to satisfy the Missouri brass between now and the 12-18 months the Big Ten gave itself. So really, this plausibly ends one of three ways for the Tigers.

Go to the Big Ten if invited and swim in newfound money
Get bribed by the Big XII to stay until it's TV contract time
Do absolutely nothing and get so angry the Dancing Van Damme Fairy comes out (mind the variable SFW-ness of that otherwise wonderful website, by the way):

Aside from witnessing the wonderful power of magic and concentration, #3 is a vastly inferior option.

Briefly...

In Caring Is Creepy news, future Hawkeye Ben Brust is making basketball go boom out in the affluent suburbs of Illinois. We'd make fun of the level of competition among all those short little white boys, but then we saw what state we lived in and decided to just shut up instead.
Norm Parker will be coaching from the press box in a wheelchair for the Orange Bowl, for reasons closely related to the fact that his shoe was filled with blood after the Michigan State game. No such thing as TMI with that man, it seems.
Daryll Clark will not sit by idly and let you diminish his legacy at Penn State. Unless that "you" refers to the Hawkeyes. Or Buckeyes.
Patent denied. Well then we want copyright protection or habeus corpus or something.

College Hoops Go-Round: December 21

Chris Dobbertean — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:00:17 -0000

More photos » by Thomas Cain - AP

4 days ago: Connecticut's Jerome Dyson (11) shoots over Central Florida's A.J. Rompza during the second half of Connecticut's 60-51 victory over Central Florida in an NCAA college basketball game in Hartford, Conn., on Sunday, Dec. 20, 2009. (AP Photo/Thomas Cain)

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The Holiday Festival at Madison Square Garden and an ACC doubleheader were the main highlights of a day when much of the East Coast was still buried by snow.

The weather (and probably ticket prices) meant low attendances at the Hoiiday Festival at MSG, which is a shame as both games were highly entertaining.

Cornell rallied to beat Davidson, 91-88 in overtime. The Big Red will meet St. John's in the final Monday (MSG, 9:30 p.m. ET). The Red Storm pulled away from Hofstra late, clinching their berth with a 72-60 victory. The Pride meet the Wildcats, coached by Hofstra alum Bob McKillop, in the consolation game (MSG, 7 p.m. ET).

In other Sunday action,

UCF put up a fight at no. 14 Connecticut, but the Knights fell 60-51, despite holding a five-point lead at halftime.
Rhode Island survived a scare from Fairfield, 89-84.
Sam Houston State won easily at Auburn, 107-89.
Iowa State had no trouble with Bradley, prevailing 87-68.
Charlotte survived their trip to Winthrop, 57-47.
Arkansas State beat Arkansas-Little Rock, 69-61, to drop the Trojans to 0-2 in the Sun Belt.
Isiah Thomas' FIU Panthers picked up a big Sun Belt win. They won at North Texas, 80-70.
Florida State won at no. 22 Georgia Tech in overtime, 66-59.
NC State couldn't pull off the sweep for the road teams. They fell at Wake Forest, 67-59.

If you don't see your team's score, click on any of the score links. You'll find a rundown of all of Sunday's scores on the right side of the page. For more on Sunday's action, visit Searching for Billy Edelin and SB Nation.

After the jump, I'll have more on Monday's action.

All times are p.m. Eastern.

The highlight of the night is the All-College Classic in Oklahoma City. UTEP takes on struggling Oklahoma in game one (ESPN2, 6:30). Game two features La Salle, who fell to Kansas in Kansas City last Saturday, against Oklahoma State (ESPN2, 9).

In other televised action

Drexel visits no. 3 Kentucky (ESPNU, 7)
Furman visits in-state rival South Carolina, who fell to Wofford on Saturday (SportSouth/FCS Pacific, 7).
UAPB takes on no. 17 Kansas State (FS Kansas City/Full Court, 8).
South Carolina State visits Iowa, who will be without suspended Anthony Tucker (Big Ten, 8:30).
LIpscomb takes on Arizona (FCS Pacific, 9).
Alcorn State faces New Mexico State (Full Court, 9).

81-50: Andrew Brommer With the Performance of the Year

Oops Pow Surprise — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 14:30:14 -0000

Andrew Brommer was called for a foul on this play. Probably. Or within a couple seconds, anyway.

First of all, get well soon, Coach Lickliter.

Second, Iowa registered their most dominant win of the young season with an 81-50 win. It was a lightly attended game, and even more sparsely-watched; the game wasn't even on DirecTV, instead banished to local cable and the absurd BTN online pay-per-view that I hope nobody bought. Seriously, fuck you BTN; just put it on one of the alternate channels or something.

In the absence of the Lickliter family (John and Garrett were also missing; ostensibly, they were both with their father and/or family), the Hawkeyes put up what will likely be their best offensive performance of the season; the team tied its franchise record for three-pointers made with 15. That Lickliter wasn't on the bench seems to have less to do with the offensive explosion than the fact that, well, it's Prairie View A&M. The Aggies (we're just assuming they're Aggies) haven't so much as finished in the top 300 of I-A over the last six seasons, and the only reason they're in the top 200 so far this season is their ability to get shellacked by legitimate programs. Once the vaunted SWAC schedule rolls around, we're pretty sure they'll dip right back down to sub-300.

The statistical leaders were A) Anthony Tucker, who hit 6 3s en route to a game-high 20 points. Tucker also corralled 15 rebounds--haha, no he didn't, he's like allergic to rebounds. He had 2, and they both made him break out into hives. Also, B) Eric May, who registered a double-double with 14 points and 11 boards. Can we stop pretending he's a guard already? He's doing a fine Jess Settles impression, though it's not the best on the team; that goes to C) Matt Gatens, who's getting pretty good at doing all the little things for a team that would probably prefer about 20 points a night from him instead, thanks. Gatens ended up with 12 points, 5 boards, 4 assists, and 4 blocks in 32 minutes.

But the real hero of the game was Andrew Brommer, the man whom we had started to wonder would ever get into a game as of a couple weeks ago. Brommer registered 10 minutes, and he made them all count. 3 points, 2 boards, 2 assists... and he fouled out.

This deserves its own paragraph: Andrew Brommer played 10 whole minutes against Prairie View A&M and fouled out.

Can you imagine what's going to happen once (hell, if) Brommer gets pressed into action against, y'know, a real team? He might start committing two or three fouls at once. Like when he's trying to hack someone, he somehow slashes them with a hockey stick. Or jumps offside. Or farts in church.

We don't know what the record is for fewest minutes played before fouling out, but Brommer's probably pretty close. 5 fouls in 10 minutes is awfully impressive. Hell, give us an Iowa jersey and a baseball bat, and we'd still probably struggle to get to the 5 mark in under 10 minutes. Are you allowed to chase someone with a baseball bat as long as you don't hit them? Because if so, we'd probably get a couple "fouls" out of the way early, and--presuming the ref doesn't take the bat away or we don't get beaten mercilessly by the opponents--then we'd chase someone around instead. Seems more effective than a regular old screen.

What about nunchaku--or, translated into American English, numchucks? That kind of evens the score a bit, mainly because you could do a lot more damage, but at the same time this could happen.

Yeah, tell us you couldn't totally see Brommer doing this to himself in the post while trying to play "defense."

I guess the point is: let's put at least a Louisville Slugger in Brommer's hands next time and see what happens. We could use the amusement, and he could probably use the help.

70-64: Well, Damn It

Oops Pow Surprise — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:05:12 -0000

More photos » by Charlie Neibergall - AP

23 days ago: Iowa coach Todd Lickliter reacts during the second half of an NCAA college basketball game against Virginia Tech, Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009, in Iowa City, Iowa. Virginia Tech won 70-64. (AP Photo/Charlie Neibergall)

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In some ways, it was Iowa's most admirable game to date: They jumped out to an 8-1 lead, kept their shots falling at a reasonable pace for most of the night, and hustled for at least 80% of the loose balls. And yet it still wasn't enough, not even at home against a team that may not end up being very good this season.

The final was 70-64, a score that's appropriately close in respects to how the game went. Though the Hokies had a moderate lead for most of the second half, Iowa was in striking distance for most and even led for a short while, at 54-53. That didn't last very long.

Iowa's struggles came in two main areas: first was the usual late-first-half power outage, this one manifested in a glacial 15-2 run by the Hokies that turned a 20-15 Iowa lead into a 30-22 Hokie advantage. The second was more discouraging, just because it was as familiar as it was endemic: the talent just isn't there.

Cully Payne just isn't athletic enough to overcome his total lack of experience on either side of the ball. Anthony Tucker and Devan Bawinkel really can't contribute much on defense. Matt Gatens doesn't make points appear out of nowhere. Jarryd Cole is still just plain frightening on offense. And other newbies like Brennan Cougill and Eric May are still adjusting to the pace of the collegiate game--an adjustment that most major conference teams would let them go through on the bench. No such luxury at Iowa when almost nobody sticks around for their senior season.

And yet, it took the proverbial dagger from Dorenzo Hudson--a roughly 700-foot three pointer as the shot clock expired--late in the game to effectively bury the Hawkeyes. It's not as if the Hokies were sure to lose without the shot--it turned a 4-point game into a 7-point game with under 90 seconds to play--but it made the comeback impossible. The fish was probably staying in the barrel; it was just a matter of shooting it.

So it goes, so it goes. At the very least, Iowa played well enough to beat about 10 of the teams on its schedule this season. Small consolation, to be sure, but we were pondering the implications of a 5-win season just last week. That's probably not going to happen. Oh, 4-14 in the BXI (or worse) might happen and would definitely suck, but I'd take 4-14 over 0-18, y'know?

All that said, this team's young enough that they really ought to show significant improvement over the course of the season. If it's not evident that they're learning anything about The System... then what's the point?

The TDG Big Ten Basketball Preview

GopherNation — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:45:15 -0000

I have intentionally held off with a Big Ten basketball preview, waiting until we could see a few games and get a feeling for how teams are adjusting to the key gains and losses from a year ago. Gopher Nation has plenty to look forward to this season. As we all know everything is returning with some key additions added. An NCAA tournament bid and likely a win or two is expected. But what about the road before the NCAA Tournament. The long and difficult Big Ten season comes first and this team has a chance to really be a factor in the B10 title race. Let's take a brief look at each team in my expected order of finish.

1 - Purdue (NCAA) - Were it not for Purdue having injury issues a year ago they could very likely be defending a Big Ten title this year. Robbie Hummel was last year's preseason B10 POY and he should not be fully healthy to lead the rest of a very talented roster. The bulk of the talent lies in the junior class for the Boilermakers and this team is athletic and deep. Injuries and other uncontrollables aside, what may be the difference between a Big Ten title and a top 2 finish could come down to coaching. Matt Painter is an excellent coach but who knows if he'll be capable of steering his team accurately to win a Big Ten regular season title. Guys like Tom Izzo, Bo Ryan, Bruce Weber and Tubby Smith have the resume of winning multiple titles. I think after this year Matt Painter adds a Big Ten regular season title to his resume.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - E'Twaun Moore
SG - Chris Kramer
SF - Keaton Grant
PF - Robbie Hummel
C - JJ Dawson

2 - Michigan State (NCAA) - I know that Michigan State is the consensus title team and for very good reason. Tom Izzo is a great coach, his team is coming off a national runner-up season and he returns the vast majority of his roster. But my gut tells me they have a great season but one that ends the regular season looking up one spot in the B10 standings. It is really hard not to like Michigan State. They too are deep, very athletic, play great defense and as I mentioned they are very well coached. But I think the one key loss will be the loss that makes the difference. Goran Suton meant a lot to the Spartans a year ago and while this team still has very talented players like Kalin Lucas, Chris Allen and Durrell Summers (with guys like Raymar Morgan and Delvin Roe off the bench); Suton will be missed. Freshman Garrick Sherman may be very good but he's not the same thing. From year to year team's take on different personalities and even the loss of just one player can change the dynamic of a team. Michigan State will be great, they'll be extremely dangerous in the NCAA Tournament but I think they fall a game or two short of Purdue this year.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Kalin Lucas
G - Chris Allen
G - Durrel Summers
PF - Draymond Green
C - Garrick Sherman

3 - Ohio State (NCAA) - In this early season the Buckeyes have looked fairly strong. And leading their early season charge is the outstanding play of Evan Turner, who looks like the early favorite for Big Ten POY (very early, I know). Turner has notched a double-double in all four games averaging 21.7 ppg and 14.7 rpg. OSU has a lot of very nice pieces outside of Turner, which isn't surprising considering the recent string of very highly ranked recruiting classes in the Thad Matta era. OSU has some offensive weapons but they are lacking in a couple key areas. First of all they are not an overly deep team. Jon Diebler is a lights out shooter and Turner might be the best player in the conference but they can only carry them so far. Matta has been going with an eight man rotation so far this year with heavy minutes for the starting five. Secondly this team is not overly strong in the paint. Their perimeter is as good as anybody's in the conference but Kyle Madsen and Dallas Lauderdale will not strike fear into the hearts of the conference's coaches.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - William Buford
SG - Jon Diebler
SF - Evan Turner
PF - David Lighty
C - Kyle Madsen

4 - Minnesota (NCAA) - There was a time when my maroon goggles would have had me rank the Gophers one spot higher. The potential (probable?) losses of Royce White and Trevor Mbakwe greatly lessened my optimism. But then the impressive play of Rodney Williams to start the year has me thinking big things again, just not as grand as before. As we all know the Gophers are deep and defend very well. I think the improvement of the sophomores and the athleticism that Williams brings to the table makes this team dangerous. Over the course of a long season I don't think we have what it takes to finish in the top 2 but this team is good enough to beat anybody on their schedule.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Al Nolen
SG - Lawrence Westbrook
SF - Rodney Williams
PF - Damian Johnson
C - Ralph Sampson III

5 - Illinois (NCAA) - this might be the team I know the least about but I do know enough to know that this team is well balanced and has the roster make-up that is well suited for Bruce Weber. Demitri McCarney, Mike Davis and Mike Tisdale are known quantities around the Big Ten. These guys averaged a combined 33 points, 14.7 rebounds and 7.2 assists per game last year. They compliment each other well and this year they add a couple dynamic freshmen to the backcourt in DJ Richardson and Brandon Paul. In the early goings these kids have 11.3 and 16.7 respectively, although they have yet to play any team of substance. Overall this will be a very good team that will only get better as the season goes along.

Likely Starting lineup
G - Brandon Paul
G - DJ Richardson
G - Demitri McCamey
PF - Mike Davis
C - Mike Tisdale

6 - Michigan (NCAA) - Manny Harris is such a great player who can win a game on his own and probably has the best pro potential in the conference. A lot of people would put the Wolverines as high as third on their prediction list based mostly on the talent of Harris and DeShawn Sims. But I'm not 100% sold on the rest of the team. John Beilein is a great coach and in year three he should really have his guys and his system working well. But once again I'm not sold on the rest of the roster and in this year's Big Ten a guy like Manny Harris will win you a few but on the nights when teams slow him down Michigan will be rather vulnerable. Decent depth, great scoring and not great interior size. A sixth place finish may seem very low but the difference between the 4th through 7th place teams could really only be a couple games.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Darius Morris
G - Manny Harris
G - Laval Lucas-Perry
F - Zack Novak
F - DeShawn Sims

7 - Wisconsin (NCAA) - Rule #1 in Big Ten basketball, never underestimate Bo Ryan and the Badgers. This isn't a great Badger team but there is some talent here with Trevon Hughes, Jason Bohannon and even Jon Leuer is having a pretty good season thus far. It may be easy for Gopher fans to overlook Wisconsin since we did sweep them last year (that was fun to write), but this team is capable of not only beating the Gophers but finishing at least a few spots higher than this. Maybe this is wishful thinking or maybe I'm not sold that the talent is there, not even for Bo Ryan.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Trevon Hughes
SG - Jason Bohannon
SF - Tim Jarmusz
PF - Jon Leuer
C - Keaton Nankivil

8 - Penn State (NIT) - The Talor Battle show will be a lot of fun to watch in Happy Valley. Penn State is perfectly demonstrates why I wanted to wait a couple weeks before I started my B10 preview. I once would have put PSU a spot or two higher, but after losses to UNC-Wilmington, Tulane and a 2-pnt win over Davidson (Steph Curry is no longer there folks) I am thinking that 7th might be too high. This team will go as far as Taylor Battle will lead them but the development of freshman Tim Frazier at PG and how well their interior rebounds is what could be the difference between another NIT run and the NCAA Tournament. Their Big Dance resume is already in bad shape, they'll will have to finish a lot higher in the conference standings to avoid the NIT again.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Tim Frazier
SG - Talor Battle
SF - David Jackson
PF - Jeff Brooks
C - Andrew Jones

9 - Indiana (NIT) - Great recruiting class and I am a huge Tom Crean fan, but this year will be tough for a young Hoosier squad to make much noise in the Big Ten. The conference is the deepest and most talented that it has been in a very long time. Other years a hot, young team like Indiana could make a run into the top 5, but not this year. This will be the sheik team next year and this year you'll likely seen them stun a few top 4 teams along the way. But learning to play at the Big Ten level is not an easy adjustment no matter how talented you are. I wouldn't be completely shocked to see them finish higher, but not likely this year.

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Verdell Jones III
G - Jeremiah Rivers
G - Maurice Creek
PF - Tom Pritchard
C - Christian Watford

10 - Northwestern - This may have been the year for the Wildcats to make the tournament, but the loss of Kevin Coble effectively ended that dream. This is a surprisingly talented NU roster and with the way they defend and execute their precision offense they should never be taken lightly. But with Coble out for the season they'll rely on Michael Thompson and John Shurna. There are a couple intriguing freshmen to go along with Thompson and Shurna

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Michael Thompson
SG - Jeremy Nash
SF - Drew Crawford
PF - John Shurna
C - Luka Mirkovic

11 - Iowa - The outlook for the Hawkeye season is so bleak that they cannot help but surpass expectations this year. Scoring has been the problem this year for Iowa. There will be games when they are hot from behind the arc and maybe they'll get a few conference wins. But for the most part you can expect a lot of losses for Iowa (that too was fun to type).

Likely Starting lineup
PG - Cully Payne
SG - Anthony Tucker
SF - Matt Gatens
PF - Jarryd Cole
C - Brennan Cougill

I know that people hate preseason polls and predictions but at the conference level this is a lot of fun. Everyone has much hope and optimism for the season, except Iowa fans. There are eight teams capable of making a run to the NCAA Tournament (although Penn State is already on life support). The Big Ten should be a blast to watch this year.

Since I'm taking a wild stab at the standings here is my best guess at some post season individual awards.

All Big Ten First Team

PG - Kalin Lucas
SG - Manny Harris
SF - Evan Turner
PF - Robbie Hummel
F - DeShawn Sims

All Big Ten Second Team

G - Taylor Battle
G - Demetri McCamey
F - Jon Diebler
F - Damian johnson
C - JJ Dawson

Big Ten All Freshman Team

G - Brandon Paul - Ill
G - D.J. Richardson - Ill
F - Rodney Williams - Minn
F - Christian Watford - Ind
F - Garrick Sherman - MSU

IOWA TOTALLY UPSETS TEXAS (...If Second Half Were 60 Seconds Long)

Oops Pow Surprise — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 07:05:39 -0000

More photos » by Charlie Riedel - AP

about 1 month ago: Iowa's Jarryd Cole (50) beats Texas' Damion James (5) to a rebound during the first half of an NCAA college basketball game Monday, Nov. 23, 2009, in Kansas City, Mo. (AP Photo/Charlie Riedel)

Browse more photos »

Okay, did we see this coming? Yes. And no. And yes. And no.

We did, for example, foresee the fact that Texas would throttle the Hawkeyes; that 15.5 point line seemed comically low at the time, and it's only for the pervasive power of pessimism (when it comes to our own decision) that we didn't bet December's rent on the 'Horns.

And hey, for about 21 minutes, that restraint looked brilliant. After Texas jumped out to a 29-13 lead, they stopped playing defense--possibly on account of the horse tranquilizers someone slipped into their Gatorade--and Iowa fought back to within 3 points late in the half.

Then this happened:

(Please let this video survive the night.)

Score tied at 38, and then Iowa hit a three to open up the second half scoring at 41-38.

That would be the last we heard from the Hawkeyes.

From then on, Texas scored 17 points straight, all white absolutely erasing any Iowa attempts to score. Didn't matter if it was inside, outside, whatever; Rick Barnes' crew slapped on that trademark Longhorn defense, and Iowa was just useless, hoisted contested shots or throwing frazzled passes to nobody in particular. Essentially, Iowa had no answer for defensive aggression; they knew well enough to draw a defender with a shot fake and dribble past him, but once inside the three-point line, they seemed lost. No mid-range jumper game, and that's precisely where it's most deadly--far more than a hurried pass back out to the perimeter. At least a mid-range game slows the defender down.

The rest of the half was little better for Iowa; the Horns parlayed the 17-point spurt into a 47-16 rally before Anthony Tucker--who was just brutal tonight--added a three-pointer on the last shot of the game. So, really, it was a 47-22 half, and that was bookended by two three-pointers by Iowa. That, folks, is an utter ass-pounding. 85-60 was your final. We don't know what the record is for biggest victory in a game that was tied at the half, but tonight's game was probably within 10 points of that mark--and if it isn't, we really feel bad for whoever's on the losing end of that record.

Oh, well. Texas is the third-ranked team in the nation, and uh, Iowa isn't. So it goes. Up next are the Wichita State Shockers. WSU cheerleaders, anything to say about that?

Hmm. Okay, then. See you tomorrow, cheerleader lady--and we'll bring the pinky condom just in case. No sense in getting pink eye.

Iowa Bounces Back, Throttles Bowling Green, 68-46

Oops Pow Surprise — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:06:53 -0000

Big win for the Iowa Hawkeyes tonight, as they shook off a sluggish start and dominated Bowling Green for Iowa's first win of the year.

Now, some people will probably point to the fact that Bowling Green was awful tonight, but no no. We think we know what's behind Iowa's sudden resurgence. It was Todd Lickliter ditching the Butlerball system and moving the offense about 30 years ahead. Watch and learn.

LOOK AT THOSE MOVES! And that thug life smack talk! "Watch it, Kareem!" I know we don't want our boys to be too "street," but if that's what it takes to win, that's what it takes. OH SNAP THEY'RE SWITCHING SIDES.

The men of the match are Eric May with 16 points (4-4 from downtown) and Anthony Tucker, who had 13 points and was one assist, five rebounds, six turnovers, and 10 blocks away from the rare quintuple-double. Also, Brennan Cougill is clearly John Daly with a DeLorean. Can't believe the PGA isn't all over this.

Anyhoo, winning is a lot more fun than losing, so hooray hooray. Next up is... Texas. Texas? Never heard of 'em. Look for Iowa to cruise.

Big Ten Hoops: The Starting Five

Bama Hawkeye — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 10:45:09 -0000

Monday night, the 2009-2010 Big Ten basketball season got under way with a crushing performance by Ohio State. Yes, they only beat Alcorn State. The important thing is that the season is underway. By this weekend, every team will have tipped off. In an attempt to ~~provide great insight~~ ~~troll for hits~~ stop thinking about Ricky Stanzi's ankle, I am starting a new recurring (i.e. it will happen as often as I want it to) feature at The Rivalry, Esq.: The Starting Five. In it, we'll discuss five things about our hoops teams.

Since you probably think that we know nothing about basketball, we felt that it was important to look for an outsider's insight into the state of the conference. Chris from Blogging the Bracket, an outstanding SBNation college basketball blog, was kind enough to answer our initial Starting Five questions about the Big Ten.

1) Let's start with your predictions. Winning the league, you have MIch-----HOLD ON! WAIT A MINUUTE!!! You have Northwestern making the Field of 65. The Wildcats are, of course, the one BCS conference school that has never made it to the Big Dance. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Defend your projection.

This is not making me hate Northwestern less.

They were so close last season, and even though they lost Craig Moore, just about everyone else--led by Kevin Coble and Michael Thompson--is back. However, a lot of the supporting cast needs to step up. Wins in East Lansing and West Lafayette last season show they can win big games, but they have stop dropping games at inopportune moments. I feel they're due, especially as the two teams closest to them in the league, Penn State and Wisconsin, lost more experience after last season.

If Lighty stays healthy, Ohio State will make some noise.

2) At the top, it sure looks like it's Michigan State, Purdue, and then everyone else. If a third team was to rise up and win the league crown, who would it be?

Ohio State. Getting David Lighty back from injury will help them out a lot, and Evan Turner could be an even more dangerous player at the point, especially since managed the second triple-double in school history in his first game starting at that position on Monday night. Sure, the opener was against Alcorn State, but the Buckeyes looked like a well-oiled machine out there, especially when compared to the other BCS level teams in that played that night. If they can keep that up, it will be a three team race.

3) In your Pre-Season bracket projection, you have 7 Big Ten teams making the Field of 65. Is it safe to say that after a down couple of years, the Big Ten is back?

The Big Ten is definitely back. The league is frighteningly close to having every single team be competitive night in and night out, but I'll talk more about that when I get to your questions on Indiana and Iowa, as they're the current problem children. If the Hoosiers and Hawkeyes can get back to respectablility in a year or two, and Northwestern and Penn State, the two weakest programs traditionally, can keep their current level of competitiveness, the conference could be the most balanced in the nation.

4) How far away is Indiana from a) competing for an NCAA Bid; and 2) winning a Big Ten title?

It'll be when, not if.

I think they're a year away from getting an NCAA bid, thanks to the youth of the roster. Eleven underclassmen is a staggering total, so you have give them, especially the six freshmen, a year to get acclimated to the league and to each other. In terms of contending for the league title, I'd say it's going to take Tom Crean at least another two or years or so of recruiting to get them in a position where they can make a run.

5) Is this the year that the Big Ten finally wins the ACC/Big Ten Challenge?

The Big Ten has an excellent shot, as the ACC should only dominate in three contests--Maryland-Indiana, Virginia Tech-Iowa, and Duke-Wisconsin, and those are all in the Midwest. In the other games, I'd say the Big Ten team has at least a slight advantage, except for Michigan State-UNC, which is a push.

6) I was very surprised when I saw that you have Iowa pegged for a strong 11th Place finish. Then I saw that it was 11th in the Big Ten, not the nation. How would you rank Iowa versus the other last place teams in the 6 BCS conferences?

The Hawkeyes could very well be the worst team in the Big Six conferences, though Providence and DePaul in the Big East will push them. Like Indiana, they're young, but Todd Lickliter's recruits aren't as heralded as Tom Crean's are. Jake Kelly's transfer to Indiana State is painful because he really came into his own last year, and Jeff Peterson heading to Arkansas means Lickliter has to find another point guard. Cully Payne could be a good one, but he is one of those freshmen, so there will be an adjustment period. But it's not like the cupboard is completely bare, as Matt Gatens, Anthony Tucker, and Jarryd Cole (if he stays healthy) are all capable players.

You hear that? Iowa has "capable players." That's high praise!

The Rivalry, Esq. thanks Chris for answering The Starting Five Questions about Big Ten basketball. Here's to a great Big Ten season.