While the Daily Gopher takes a quotable, pictorial look back at the era of the recently-deposed Tim Brewster, we'd like to add the other side of the story -- or rather, since this is a short-format space, just list all the mean things Minnesota AD Joel Maturi has said about Tim Brewster to distract from the fact that he's the guy who hired Tim Brewster.
Right off the bat, in the initial he's-so-fired press conference, Maturi starts off talking about himself in the third person, so you know he's a deeply serious man:
"The fact of the matter is President Bruininks knows, Joel Maturi knows, others know that football is the engine to every athletic program."
He paints himself as The Decider, which always works out well:
"I'm the athletic director at the University of Minnesota, and it will ultimately be my decision," he said.
The real knife-twister with a historical edge:
Maturi said he will sell opportunity at Minnesota, the chance to play in an impressive stadium in the heart of a vibrant metropolitan area. Most of all, Maturi said, the replacement will have a chance to put his name on a program that hasn't been to a Rose Bowl since 1962.
"You're not following Vince Lombardi here," Maturi said.
And the kicker, where, seriously, you guys, Joel Maturi barely even knows Tom Brewster. Tim. he means Tim:
Maturi acknowledged the risk of an unproven hire, recalling his blunt response early in the search process when colleagues recommended he talk to the man who was the Denver Broncos' tight ends coach at the time.
"To be honest, I'd never heard of Tim Brewster," Maturi said.
Joel Maturi, our favorite athletic director ever, would like to disavow all knowledge of "Tim Brewster" at this time. This message will self-destruct.