This Week In Schadenfreude: Wisconsin Rejects Your So-Called 'Objective Reality'

wait.. what?

Desperate Badger fans hurriedly look up parallax for maximum internet victory. The Old Man Card is played. West Virginia fans have itchy trigger fingers. Illinois fans not quite over the fact they have a parrot for a head coach. Minnesota accurately compared to Sylvia Plath novel. And UCLA fans seem suddenly reasonable.

More than one national title contender saw their dreams collapse in a heap over the weekend, but only one managed to do it on a Hail Mary. That would be Wisconsin. Bucky's Fifth Quarter resorts to Pearl Harbor-level headlining:

HEARTBREAK IN EAST LANSING

National title hopes crushed by last-second Hail Mary

Hun advances on Poland.

Elsewhere, a review that overturns a call on the field is going to be controversial even if there's no controversy…

Final-frame-620x346_medium

via www.beyondusports.com

…er. You know what I mean. Anyway:

A travesty. there is not indisputable evidence. It is analogous to strikes in baseball that appear to be over the plate from the angle of the centerfield camera but the ump calls them a ball. Here the backjudge is 10 feet away looking at the play and immediately calls it short of the end zone.

The fact that there are differing opinions on this forum demonstrates that the evidence is NOT indisputable.

That is your Zen of the Week right there. If anyone disagrees, can anything be indisputable? I dispute air. Badgers recognize NO OBJECTIVE REALITY:

That is NOT enough to overturn the call....That call could have went both ways.   The Refs on the field got it right.

That is not indisputable. Replay ref blew it.

Bring a protractor to the screen.  Not conclusive.

You can not tell from this photo exactly where the ball is because the ball is NOT clearly visible. At most you can see a very small part of the ball, which may instead be the defender's hand. To be indisputable you need to clearly see the ball breaking the plane of the goal line.

That play should have been blowndead . Nichols forward motion had stopped clearly before Taylor picked him up, causing the football to barely break the plane, which by the way wasn't INDISPUTIBLE video evidence. Just unbelieveably terrible call. That was 50percent timeout and bad jump by Abby and 50 refs no question

If it was indisputable then turdstreit and pussberger would have said as much with their watching the replay 20 times, but even they said they didn't know 100%, only what they thought.  If it was indisputable and so clear, then how did TWO officials standing right there when it happened miss the call?  Here's something that hasn't been mentioned?  If the ball crossed the plane, it definitely wasn't until nichols 3rd effort after being held back by two defenders.  So tell me, is it also the replay official to decide when they THINK the whistle would have been blown and forward progress stopped?

These are all different people fighting with others who are superimposing green goal-lines over the image above. This guy's the topper, though. Not content with merely disputing the position of the ball, he denies the existence of the ball at all:

I see white arms and whiter gloves.  Where is the brown thing?

When nothing exists, neither can your aching heart.

F--K YOU MICHIGAN STATE

AND F--K YOU BRET BIELMA FOR CALLING A TIME OUT

by dtpollitt on Oct 22, 2011 8:56 PM PDT

At least one Badger fan Won the Internet:

This just makes those Buffalo Wild Wings commercials really tough to watch. "The only thing that would make this game even better is overti....." ouch.

Tougher to watch, dmanloo. As if anyone watching his team lose 20-13 has ever said "the only thing that would make this better is overtime." You're losing! There are many things that would make this better, like "not losing" or "not being at Buffalo Wild Wings."

I digress. Wisconsin, you own the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness. The rest of the week in spleen…

ACC

Georgia Tech's unexpectedly high expectations have come crashing down the last two weeks, spurring a "Things going down slower than Georgia Tech football" with the usual Titanic/Lewnisky/Hindenberg references, plus a little topical nerdery:

House-prices-usa3_medium

via coffee.windowstorussia.com

The latest pratfall was a 24-7 loss to Miami that has Tech fans looking up end tables:

way to go CPJ

I am now more interested in the Pottery Barn website.
I am nauseated with GT football. Do better and rekindle my interest - or I will find something less predictable to do.

This guy gets some pushback and brings out the Old Man Card:

Bite me, junior!
Call me when you have had about 40 years of this!
This is evolving into an all too familiar pattern.
Pepper beat UGA in his first season too.
I have watched through thick and thin -on 5 or 6 continents day or night - whatever way I could.
I am just sick of the same old same old.
I am no longer impressed with someone who seemingly cannot learn or change.
Sorry about that.

"Pepper" is Pepper Rodgers, GT's coach from 1974-79. Other uncomplimentary things are being said about previous coaches. Equilibrium is desired:

I'm starting to miss Chan.

The option is all of a sudden passé:

you do have to give him credit though. He doesn't need one of those fancy playsheets or anything. the plays are in his head, all three of them.

Big East

F512ti_medium

via Csquared and TNIAAM

If you're like me and you turned on ESPN on Friday to find out the game on was not a clash of Sun Belt foes but an actual Big East game featuring an actual ranked opponent actually losing to actual Syracuse 49-23, well, you were surprised. West Virginia may have just gotten their ticket out of the doomed planet that is the Big East, but that doesn't mean they had a good weekend. It is not a good weekend when Syracuse fans machine-gun gifs at you and Sean McDonough calls your AD an "idiot."

Still, this has to be some sort of record for turning on a coach. That would be longtime defensive coordinator Jeff Casteel, who should be fired

Switching over -- fire Casteel


I don't care what he's done in the past. He does not fit with this coach and this team.

fired

Casteel has to go

Jeff Casteel should be fired tonight as soon as the game is over. I've hated his defenses even when they were somewhat good. He just had the luxury of an opponent having to change their game plan because they usually had to play from behind.

fired(!!!)…

3-3-5 or Casteel must go or both


First the 3-3-5 needs to guy bye bye after this season.  Over 10 years it hasn't been consistent and throughout most of this time we played bad offenses or had a great offense with Pat White/great running games….

I have never been impressed with Casteel either. Ollie or Holgs need to get him to get rid of the 3-3-5.  Its pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Casteel is not aggressive either!!!!!!!!!!

fired

Holgerson will get rid of Casteel


You can't tell me he can take this.  I know I can't.

fired?

J Casteel Shear Curtains -Morgantown WV, Coming to a city near u

WVU in total defense the last four years: 3rd, 36th, 36th, 7th. Casteel's decision when asked to follow Rodriguez to Ann Arbor: stay in Morgantown. A PatWhite4Heisman has a simple question in response:

Yeah because of one game? What if your ogre of a wife had banned you from sex after the first time your demonstratively failed in satisfying her?

YEAH! There's also a guy who appears to be using the phrase "Leave Casteel alone" unironically. Not sure if serious.

Finally, Scott Tenorman of the Week, come on down:

Is anybody else's weekend completely ruined?

I feel like WVU owes me $$$ for emotional damages.  The whole weekend is ruined.  Food doesn't taste good.  Even beer seems a bit off.  I haven't watched a minute of college football because I'm afraid it will just remind me of the way the game is suppose to be played.  Or worst yet, they'll show the score on the bottom crawl.  Maybe drugs would help.

Big Ten

Elsewhere in the league, the momentary Mayan apocalypse that was an undefeated, Ron Zook-coached Illinois has gone by the wayside, leaving a Stanford national championship the only potential world-ending college football occurrence left this year.

Zook managed this in his inimitably Zook-y way, punting on fourth and three from the Purdue 38. He was down 21 points at the time. His team ended up losing by seven. Ron Zook has no idea what connections can possibly be drawn between these two facts. Ron Zook isn't sure how much a touchdown is worth and suspects he might actually be a dolphin. To test this he is going to go mine copper. Ron Zook: not smart.

Illinois fans: used to it.

Now, well, now I feel normal. My son came in with his usual "how are you, dad?" after we lost, and I told him I was fine. Because I was. I’m totally fine right now. I feel 100% completely totally the way I expect to feel every fall. THIS is what it is like to be a fanatical fan of this football team. This is my normal.

Not quite used to how relentlessly not smart Ron Zook is yet:

YET ANOTHER GAME WITH A TOTALLY EMBARASSING COACHING GAFFE AT THE END OF A HALF OR GAME! I was there and am pretty sure I was red-faced by shame when I saw our coaches signaling in to spike the ball with :01 on the clock in the 2nd half. Seriously? This is college football, not 5-year old Pop Warner where they don’t keep score. Unreal. I can’t take this coaching ineptitude any more. And you other posters are right – this team was completely unmotivated and as flat as a piece of plywood.

These things are not limited to the end of a half.

The ongoing tire fire that is Minnesota suffered another humiliating blowout on Saturday, but at least the guy behind Fire Jerry Kill got a shoutout on Gameday as "tasteless and disgusting." FJK responds "Ben Roethlisberger, Craig James, bite me" and says things like this:

Watching this game was like reading a Sylvia Plath novel where she is tormented not by her own emptiness and society's crushing restriction of female expression but instead by people who are territorial about corn.

And this:

Anna Freud believed that when children played with their food they were expressing a repressed desire to play with their own excrement.  Based on what we’ve seen of his offensive philosophy please ensure someone keeps a close eye on [OC Matt] Limegrover when he eats.

He wins. Minnesota does not.

Bennett_medium

via www.firejerrykill.com

Northwesterntoo soon?

On the bright side

No dead bodies were found inside our stadium before the start or even during the game. That, and we didn’t name our field InfoCision Field.

Still can’t get over the 4th-and-3 punt, though.

by RotoJeff on Oct 22, 2011 9:09 PM

Finally, Notre Dame suffered yet another defeat hinging on a bizarre redzone turnover, this a fumbled snap by Dayne Crist on a play that started on the USC one and ended in Notre Dame's endzone. After a further exchange of touchdowns, USC got the ball back with seven minutes left and proceeded to run out the clock as Brian Kelly watched, three timeouts in hand.

USC called the Irish quitters afterwards, which some on the Nation disagreed with. These people do not understand the spirit of Notre Dame, which if bottled and posted to the internet would be long, overwritten, and maudlin:

The idea of Notre Dame is not realistic, perhaps miraculous
by KevinG (2011-10-25 01:07:19)


When I see people on this board, or in other arenas, claim that calling timeouts late was useless since the game was basically over, I question whether they truly understand what Notre Dame is (or was). When I see a coach quit on his team (Kelly on Saturday, Davie against Nebraska), I question whether they truly understand what Notre Dame is (or was).

When I see people on this board, or in other arenas, claim that hiring a top flight football coach, the type of coach Notre Dame needs and requires at this point, is "not realistic", I question if they truly understand what Notre Dame is (or was).

The whole idea of Notre Dame is not realistic, and in many ways in miraculous.

An immigrant Catholic priest from France came to middle of nowhere Northern Indiana and founded a small Catholic college that would become one of the most famous and recognizable universities in the world.

[several more anecdotes about the good ol' college try…]

Generations of Catholic immigrants came to the United States and saw this University as a beacon of light, as something to aspire to, as a place to send their children to give them the opportunities they could not have. They saw a football team that embodied some of the best traits of the human spirit, and this team inspired them.

Any one of the facts above would have been thought quite unrealistic back in 1842. The fact that all of them happened at this one place may suggest something more.

What though the odds. Notre Dame was not built on realism. Notre Dame was built on faith, which is required for miracles to happen.

I hate the Pharisees who currently run this University, and their enablers.

KevinG wins Rant of the Week. To be fair, throwing away three games in the fashion Notre Dame has is not realistic. Perhaps miraculous?

Big Twelve

The BCS is sending thank-you cards not only to East Lansing but Lubbock after Texas Tech beat Oklahoma, which will help avert everyone's-undefeated BCS chaos. Not sending thank-you cards are Oklahoma fans.

Maybe, anyway. This could mean many things:

Texcuses NOw =Whatever

Yall wanta throw out.

I heard it was THIS.

Next?

WE lost Grow a ****in pair .

I have long suspected Boomhauer is a Sooners fan, and need suspect no more.

I am pretty sure this means one specific thing:

STOP PUTTING FOUR MEN ON THE LINE AND DROPPING EVERYONE BACK!!!!

ITS NOT WORKING!!!! HASNT WORKED ALL ****ING GAME!!! STOP IT!!!! EVEN I CAN SEE ITS NOT ****ING DOING ANYTHING AND I KNOW **** ABOUT FOOTBALL!!! JESUS!! WE HAVE ****ING MONKEYS CALLING OUR DEFENSE!!!

And also this:

think we sucked all along

And didn't know it.

It's like if you have an ugly kid , do you know it? You love them unconditionally , see their best qualities and traits. Everyone tells you how cute they are and ewe and awe over them and you just believe it. I think that's what happened this year.

But at least it's not the Blake years.

Pac-12

I think we're past the point where UCLA losing is good fodder for this column. Like Ole Miss, the decision is obviously made for the athletic director and it's time to talk about the next guy. But also like Ole Miss, when the AD is the same guy who screwed it up the last two times This Cancer Goes All The Way To The Top (and must be overthrown like Saddam Hussein):

Time to Act: Cease All Financial Support to UCLA Athletics

I don't support UCLA athletic anymore with my pocketbook (sorry, Ben).  I can, in not insignificant ways, support UCLA football.  I just don't.  And I won't again until Dan Guerrero and, secondarily, Rick Neuheisel, leave UCLA in the hands of people not mired in the decay of the Morgan Center who take those hallowed four letters seriously, and stop squandering the boundless opportunity to let UCLA flourish, if given only a bit of real attention and commitment. …

Until there is a wholesale regime change at UCLA, I call on all of us to cease any and all financial support to the athletic department until Dan Guerrero resigns or is fired.  I wish it hadn't come to this, but it has.

To be fair, the Thursday night game was a Minnesota-level tire fire against a team that had already fired its coach. Bruin fans are saying "to call that game embarrassing is embarrassing to the word embarrassing," and it's hard to disagree.

When you head over to Bruins Nation to get their take on the latest indignity and you come away thinking "those level-headed fellows may just be onto something with their revolutionary fervor"… well, you're not doing a very good job as athletic director. #Occupy whatever the athletic administration building is called at UCLA. #Sign internet petition.

SEC

Some people have to roam from board to board until they find a home of like-minded complete maniacs. Like this man, who apparently has a picture of his wife and kids as his avatar:

are you able to rant/vent on this board??????

before i continue posting anything or reading anything, i need to know if we can rant/vent on this board? cause i was banned last night from anoher board for saying that clint was a division 2 QB. and all the sunshine pumpers with their orange and blue glasses on (mods)  banned me.  anyone with a brain can see that we are going through some learning curves this year, and i said that we needed to let frazier play so he can get some reps and get comfortable for the future and apparently i was bad mouthing clint. there is nothing wrong with being a div 2 QB if thats what you are. pine trees could never be red woods right?????????? but pine trees have a purpose. so back to my question, can we say something on this board and not be called a updyke or a turd or a fair weather fan????   thanks and WDE!!!!!!!!smiley: indifferentsmiley: indifferent

I'm… no, we have already handed out the zen. Are Auburn fans really calling each other Updykes now? It's like their version of Santorum. I approve of this usage. I also should cut this off before it gets even longer than it already is, which is massively too long.

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