Missouri Tigers fans, let's talk. You were announced as the SEC's 14th team today, so I just want to make sure you know what you're getting into. Have you been classically trained in one or another martial art? Do you enjoy mixing food and drink with combat?
I ask because here was the scene at one corner of the otherwise courtly Alabama-LSU tailgate in Tuscaloosa before Saturday night's game:
Mizzou, are culinary matters so important to you that they can only be settled via pushing and/or shoving? Are your tailgate tents so well-arranged that their toppling is a greater concern than is the lone pack of drunks actually fighting each other?
Hope you know what you're doing, Mizzou. Every single SEC tailgate is like this*.
* This is a lie. You will be too filled with fried delicacies to do anything but eat more fried delicacies.