Saturday's Famous Idaho Potato Bowl between Ohio and Utah State will feature a 12,000-pound, world-travelin' giant potato on site. Pretty sure ESPN will handle coverage of The Great Big Idaho Potato just fine, but your #OccupyPotatoes spirit is appreciated, Mr. Muir:
The giant spud, formally known as The Great Big Idaho Potato, will pull into the Bronco Stadium parking lot at about 8 a.m. An official unveiling (without a veil, of course, because it would be too huge) is scheduled for 12:30 p.m.
"We defy ESPN to not film it," said Muir.
However, certain other college football broadcasters might not deal with the spud all that well.
FOX would either cut to it for a reaction shot after every drive (digging into valuable marching band footage air time) or replace it with a giant CGI bag of Doritos that quotes Seth Meyer and farts rockets.
The Longhorn Network probably doesn't exist.
FX would GUS JOHNSON YELLING AT STARCHY TUBERS HA HAA
ABC [something about Brent Musburger gambling on potatoes].
NBC is the network that would completely ignore the Great Big Idaho Potato. The Irish have a complicated relationship with the crop.
CBS' strict three-commercial-breaks-per-potato-shot limit would get overlooked toward the end, when the priority would become Gary Danielson's charts on how Southern potatoes are superior to Idaho potatoes anyway.