After a caller to the Jan. 27 episode of the Paul Finebaum Show claimed he'd poisoned the trees at Auburn University's Toomer's Corner with herbicide, the school discovered a "very lethal dose" of Spike 80DF herbicide. While humans aren't in any danger, the trees have little hope of making it to next year's Music City Bowl celebration.
If you're just now joining us, Toomer's Corner is a highlight of Auburn's campus filled with ancient oaks, forming a 150-year-old landmark that Auburn Tigers fans like to decorate with toilet paper after wins. The toilet paper is then removed, as if it were never there, making it entirely unlike the wins themselves.
It's unclear why Auburn fans assume Alabama Crimson Tide fans were responsible. In a completely unrelated incident and amazing coincidence, the score of last year's Iron Bowl recently somehow appeared in the grass near Bama's statue of Bear Bryant.