SB Nation college football pundits Holly Anderson and Spencer Hall tackle the important news issues in today's ever-evolving sporting world. Today's topic: What on God's green internet is a "shamburger"?
Spencer: Did you know there was a player for U-Dub last season called "Will Shamburger?"
Holly: The what, now? What even goes in a shamburger? Is it, in fact, made of lamb? Beans?
Spencer: Pencil shavings?
Holly: Or is it a hamburger in wrap form, constructed specifically to enrage certain colleagues of ours?
Spencer: It's just a pizza. That they call a hamburger.
Holly: Also, it has set up an illegal political action committee on the side, in its copious spare time away from masquerading as an innocent pub menu item.
Spencer: This guy understands the glory of his name.
Holly: Wait, so it's a burger that a cat peed on? Because that sounds like a pretty good sham.
Spencer: I think it's a hamburger that cleans your bathroom, and then denies it ever did it.
Holly: Obvious missing piece: where does the Hamburglar enter into this discussion?
Spencer: Well, the guy who beats him in coverage is the Shamburgler, obvs.
NB: We consulted SB Nation sandwich czar Jon Bois on the existence of the Shamburger. He posits that it may be a cleaning agent made from coagulated meat proteins. We don't want to think about this any more.