Fantasy camp at Clemson looks delightful. First let's dismiss every mockable element, though. (This is the internet, and that was where you thought we were going with this.)
- Every middle-aged man in football pants does in fact look like a Pop Warner kid in his short pants
- Every middle-aged man in football pants does run like he might explode at any moment.
- The sideways shovel snap is the sidesaddle horse ride of the football world.
- BOOO NO CONTACT.
That much is granted. Now watch it and tell yourself with all honesty that it does not look worth every penny of the $2,000 it costs to participate in Dabo Swinney's Fun Time Football Academy for The Husky Adult. (H/T: ASU Jaguar)
Given total freedom, it turns out coaches do in informal games exactly what you would: do nothing but call double passes that turn into twenty yard armpunts.
The benefits of the camp are substantial: three scrimmages, coaching clinics, all the gear you can tote out of your own locker, hobnobbing time with the Clemson coaching staff, and live announcing during the game complete with the Clemson Tiger running out to congratulate you on your awesome double pass.
It's quite a deal already, but this is our favorite promised (hypothetical) benefit:
- If there is an NFL lockout at the time of the camp. Current Clemson NFL players will be on-hand!
Who says no one benefits from the NFL lockout? Dabo doesn't, especially since a few extra NFLers at the camp put a few more campers in the lockers, and a few more campers equals a few more bucks in the "Dabo's Bigass Bass Boat" fund. Coach Swinney also gives you a custom pep talk for the two grand. Warning: you will go around yelling "IT DON'T MATTER" to no one in particular in the middle of conversations for the rest of the day.