If You Like Mack Brown, You'll Love The Longhorn Network

The reason the Big 12 didn't completely implode in the summer of 2010? Texas getting its cake and eating it, too, something they achieved in the form of an exclusive television network partnership with ESPN and by getting a slice of the Big 12's new television deal with Fox. The character of Clay Davis on The Wire was based on the Texas football program, and Mack Brown will sue shortly for rights to The Wire's substantial DVD sales. He'll win, and then Texas will have even more money to spend on golden calf statues and cyborg weightlifting coaches.

But about that Longhorn Network thing:

The Longhorn Network's lineup, released today by ESPN, includes no episodes of every NPR listener's favorite drama, but it does include at least two shows featuring Mack Brown himself. Brown will host Texas Rewind, the obligatory coach's show reviewing the weekend's action, and will also host Game Plan With Mack Brown, a look ahead at the week's opponent. Sadly, there will be no early morning yoga program featuring the gregarious head coach, and that is a shame because his physical flexibility and spiritual insight would shock even the biggest admirer of the Texas football coach's work.

In addition to his responsibilities with two television shows and numerous weekly ESPN interviews, Mack Brown is also expected to devote at least 45 minutes a week to coaching his football team. The rest of the time on the show will not be filled up by a webcam showing Matthew McConaughey working out shirtless on a beach, and your wife is so pissed about this that it's not even funny.

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