Report: Auburn Guilty Of Paying Employees

Allow me to step outside of any cloak of objectiveness I might have left: more than anyone else on the planet who is not an Alabama fan, I would love it if someone could produce hard evidence of Auburn University cheating in football recruiting. I really would. I would hold a theme party, and then invite everyone to come over as their favorite shady Auburn booster or football player. I get to wear the Yella Wood guy outfit, though, because the Yellow Hat is stunna, son.

So I would love to get excited over this, especially after watching Auburn beat my team by piddling field goals in games so frustrating I bled from the ears watching them. However, since the hostesses aren't taking money illicitly because they're employed by Auburn, and because they aren't traveling to schools or games to recruit players, then everything Auburn is doing here is a perfectly legitimate expense by the NCAA's rules.

It is as shocking as divulging that Auburn paid assistant coach Trooper Taylor "hundreds of thousands of dollars to recruit football players" in the year 2010. He's an employee, and employees get paid, and until that isn't true it's going to stay that way. Besides, when has anyone at Auburn in the past ever bothered with a paper trail when it came to corruption? [EDITOR'S DISCLAIMER: This covers past allegations at Auburn, not the squeaky clean program currently run by Gene Chizik that has no documented instances of abusing the rules governing amateurism in the NCAA. War Plaineagleness, or whatever y'all say.--Ed.]