The story on Jordan Jefferson's alleged role in the great LSU Tigers bar fight of last week has been that the presumed starting quarterback kicked a man in the face. There's now an eyewitness report accusing him of doing just that. After police spent Wednesday collecting DNA evidence in Jefferson's home, things are looking worse and worse for the passer.

This, of course, brings us to Jefferson's one brilliant foresight. Before kicking a man in the face, be sure to own 49 pairs of shoes. If he'd only owned, say, three or four pairs of non-cleats, not including flip-flops, which would probably fly off during a kick and totally defuse the entire fight due to hilarity, police would have no trouble checking each one for blood.

But 49 pairs of shoes? That's going to take forever. Arrests still have yet to be made, but once police are done with those shoes, expect them to come quickly.

According to the witness, Jefferson's teammate Josh Johns also attacked the victim of Jefferson's kick.

For more on the Tigers, visit And The Valley Shook.