Update: Let's discount this one. If Oklahoma hasn't been made aware of its own kidnapping, it probably doesn't exist.
The Big 12 is the silliest thing in the world. According to the Waco Tribune-Herald -- which is an actual, long-established newspaper* -- Kansas, Kansas State, Texas Tech**, Iowa State and Missouri have joined Baylor in opposing Texas A&M's move to the SEC. They'll agree to let the Aggies go if Oklahoma promises not to leave the Big 12.
* Albeit one from Baylor's town.
So, um, how does future SEC team Texas A&M convince potential Pac-12 team Oklahoma to swear itself to the Big 12? I don't even know what we're talking about here. Oklahoma should stick around just to have a great big laugh at Texas A&M.
It's at this point you start to realize everybody's full of everything, if you haven't already. Texas Tech is believed to be one of the four schools with a chance to leave for the Pac-eleventy, by virtue of its connection to Texas. Missouri wanted to leave for the Big Ten last year and is reportedly under consideration for the SEC. Kansas' chancellor recently mentioned the Jayhawks and K-State could legally be split up. Iowa State, you're cool except for the Nickelback thing, so carry on.
As of Sept. 7, the biggest effect the Longhorn Network has had: making the Sooners the most powerful program in college sports. Who saw that coming?