Clemson Defense Failed By Michelle Obama, Still Seeking Muse

Like many college teams, the Clemson Tigers defensive staff relays play calls to its players by way of large cards. You may be surprised to learn Clemson has a defensive staff, defensive plays, and defensive players, but it's a pretty effective way to communicate a lot of information to tired athletes in a single motion.

We don't know exactly which play each of these cards represents, but we can check the results for analysis.

When first run, the Michelle Obama play led to a Tavon Austin touchdown*. It was tried again in the third quarter, as you can see. Moving on:

South Carolina governor Nikki Haley, autograph and all: Stedman Bailey touchdown

South Carolina Republican Party chairman Karen Floyd: Darwin Cook touchdown

Former U.S. Representative from South Carolina, Elizabeth Hawley Gasque: Tavon Austin touchdown

Former U.S. Representative from South Carolina, Clara G. McMillan: Shawne Alston touchdown

U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission chairman Inez Moore Tenenbaum: Tavon Austin touchdown

Former U.S. Representative from South Carolina, Liz J. Patterson: Geno Smith touchdown

Former U.S. Ambassador to Norway, Florence Jaffray Harriman: Shawne Alston touchdown

Former U.S. Ambassador to France, Pamela Beryl Harriman: Geno Smith touchdown

Isabella II of Spain: Tavon Austin touchdown

Olga of Kiev: Tavon Austin touchdown

Empress Xiao Gong Zhang: Tavon Austin touchdown

Boudica, former Queen of British Iceni tribe: Tavon Austin touchdown

Dido, former queen of Carthage: Tavon Austin touchdown

Arsinoe III of Egypt: Geno Smith touchdown

Merneth of Egypt: Tavon Austin touchdown

* It probably actually did.