The Iowa Hawkeyes have lost a running back. This is nothing new, as Iowa has always just lost a running back, be it to transfer or injury or legal circumstance or something really, really creative. The Angry Iowa Running Back-Hating God even has its own Twitter, and making it look prescient has got to be the easiest task in the world.
So who's up next for Iowa, now that Jordan Canzeri has suffered an ACL injury?
Black Heart Gold Pants provides the grim analysis:
The bulk of the carries this spring will likely be split between Bullock, De'Andre Johnson, and Andre Dawson, at least until a plague of locusts, a river of blood, and a horrible accident involving a combine remove them from consideration. Long-term, Canzeri's injury likely removed any doubt whatsoever (as if there was any) that incoming freshmen Barkley Hill and Greg Garmon will see time at running back this fall. Ah, Iowa running back: where opportunity is always knocking. But don't answer: it's AIRBHG and he has a crowbar aimed right at your knee, you sad, hopeless bastard.