I can't imagine living in a world in which Urban Meyer's players miss actual game action due to inappropriate urination, but let's just go ahead and let loose a scenario in which tight end Jake Stoneburner and tackle Jack Mewhort miss the opener against Miami (Ohio) due to their business-obstructin' arrests.
Both are starters, for one thing.
Stoneburner has finished in the team's top three in receptions two years in a row, though that doesn't really mean a whole lot going forward, since nobody was really zipping up all that many passes around Columbus. He is a touchdown magnet, however, with half of his 14 catches last year going for scores, and is expected to burst forth in Meyer's offense, which produced current NFL star Aaron Hernandez. Stoneburner's backed by Jeff Heuerman, who had one catch as a freshman, and Land-Grant Holy Land calls him "a potential future star in the making."
Mewhort is relieved by redshirt sophomore Darryl Baldwin, a newly converted defensive lineman.
So! It's highly unlikely that the events from this weekend will trickle onto the field, but if they do, there's how it will all shake out.
While we’re here, let’s watch some college football videos from SB Nation’s new YouTube channel together: