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Nick Saban's Daughter Beats Roommate, Ruins Waffle House Trip (Allegedly)

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There's a lot of weird here, but let's sort through it. Why is Nick Saban's daughter allegedly fighting her roommate in an Alabama dorm room in 2010? Because she was allegedly drunk, something many people in college tend to get, and because her father was Nick Saban. If my father were Nick Saban, I'd probably want to punch people, too, both because my father was wealthy and because my childhood was probably one long brutal training sequence from Batman Begins.

As for why this 2010 incident appears in a criminal report filed on June 26, 2012, that's an easy answer, too: that's how long the Witness Protection Program told this young lady to wait. Please read the complaint yourself, and realize that attorneys in Alabama do not have to take a writing course as a mandatory part of their law school education.

23. Sarah checked her Facebook via her phone and saw that Kristen had posted a status saying "No one likes Sarah! Yayyyyy!"

This seems inappropriate, but criminal cases in Alabama are often decided via Facebook, so it really makes more sense than you think. The 6th Circuit of Tuscaloosa wants to know if you LIKE the death penalty? Please confirm by hitting the LIKE Button.

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

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