Flip away from the Big Ten Network just long enough to consume the latest edition of Shutdown Fullback, and marvel as your brain swells, local temperatures plummet, and starch becomes too alluring to bear.
With fresh Jim Delany haircuts, your hosts compete in Big Ten Olympics events, document Big Ten feeding preferences, chart the long history of the first conference, marvel at how mean Michigan State is and how fat Wisconsin is, unveil Indiana's darkest secret, academic some academic academics about academicky academics, and DON'T TALK ABOUT PENN STATE AT ALL NOT AT ALL NO.
Previous conference adventures, each less distinguished than the one of which you are about to partake: the unlearned cattlepersons of the Big 12, our eccentric Pac-12 brethren from the Orient, and the book-learned, yet distastefully frantic ACC. A similar periodical detailing the struggles of the SEC to overcome Reconstruction is also in the works.
Also, for an actual Big Ten preview: