SB Nation - Jordan Bernstine

Great Moments in Gopher Football: Jordan Bernstine Is Unorthodox But Effective

Oops Pow Surprise — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 01:04:10 -0000

The Gophers are reeling, down 27-0 early in the third quarter against the Iowa Hawkeyes. They need a stop, and they get one, forcing a punt against the Hawkeye offense. Everything is about to get turned around.

Or so Minnesota would believe. For rather than being a successful stop by the Gopher defense, the Iowa series was merely the first multiple-down trick play in college football history. The ruse would culminate in a punt attempt, but that was just Iowa's way of letting the ball fly down the field unimpeded. Say, you know who else would like to fly down the field unimpeded? Jordan Bernstine, and he would like to introduce these two Gophers to each other.

Iowa ball, bitches, and the easiest, most hilarious 30 yards of field position they've ever gained. Why don't they try the "punt on purpose so we can throw a blocker at his own returner" trick more often?

(Terrorist fist jab: recoveringfratguy)

A Lament: You'll Be Coming Down

Bama Hawkeye — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 05:07:35 -0000

The Iowa Hawkeyes are 9-1 (5-1). Somehow, in the aftermath of Saturday's loss to Northwestern, that's been lost. Their record is what I predicted prior to the season. They still control their own destiny for a Big Ten title and a Rose Bowl berth. And yet, Saturday's loss still leaves an empty feeling that I'm still struggling to explain.

It's not that Iowa lost. Lord knows, I never really believed that Iowa would go undefeated. I had planned out the article talking about the number of good Iowa teams that saw dreams crushed in Columbus. I never stopped knowing that this magical run would end against Ohio State. It was fun to dream, but that's all it ever was - nothing real. And yet, there was something about this season. "This is a special team," my wife said before the Michigan State game. Of course, she was right. And that's why it hurts so much. It's not that it ended; it's that it wasn't supposed to end like this.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not with an injury.

I know; championship teams require depth. They need to be able to overcome an injury to a player. Iowa was unable to do that on Saturday. The unfair thing is that Iowa was forced to overcome this hurdle so many times this season. When starting cornerback Jordan Bernstine went down for the year in training camp, the team overcame it. When starting running back Jewel Hampton went down for the year in training camp, the team overcame it. When second string running back Jeff Brinson was lost for the season, the team overcame it. When starting left tackle Bryan Bulaga was lost for three games with a thyroid condition, the team overcame it. When third string running back Adam Robinson was knocked out for the last two games (and possibly the season), the team overcame it. When starting punt returner Paul Chaney, Jr. was knocked out for the season, the team overcame it. When starting wide receiver and punt returner Colin Sandeman was lost for the season, the team overcame it. When starting guard Dace Richardson was lost for the season, the team overcame it. When starting safety Brett Greenwood was lost for the season, the team overcame it.

But, this one was too much. Coming off of the best two quarters of football he had played all year, Ricky Stanzi's injury proved to be one that the Hawkeyes could not overcome. Maybe here is the lesson from the close wins over UNI and Arkansas State. You need some blowouts. You need to get your backup quarterback a chance to play. If you can't do that, you'll see regrettable, yet understandable, performances like the one that James Vandenberg provided on Saturday.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not with a phantom holding call.

Look ref, I watched Rafael Eubanks's block over and over again. It was clean. He had two hands in front of the defensive lineman. Eubanks pancaked him. He never lost front-to-front forward-moving contact with him. He never pulled him down. When they showed the replay, Bob Griese's response was perfect. "Wow. Not much to see there." He probably wanted to say that Eubanks flattened him like a Panchero's quesadilla, but realizing that "Rafael" sounded Hispanic (and newly retrained by Disney) thought better of it. The call negated Brandon Wegher's 63 yard touchdown run and a 17-14 3rd Quarter Hawkeye lead. Somehow I knew at that point that it was over.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. Not with double schadenfreude upon the Hawkeye fans.

Throughout the miserable 2007 season, and again in the first five games of 2008, the Iowa fans were relentless in their negativity toward Jake Christensen. He was a golden boy who washed out. He had an NFL father, a 5-star ranking, and expectations of the fan base put upon him. And he failed. Yes, he had horrible circumstances. Yes, he did what he could, but before the halfway point of last season, it was apparent that the less-heralded Stanzi was the better quarterback. The four wins that ended the campaign cemented his role as the team's starter. Jake transfered to Eastern Illinois, a 1-AA school, so that he could play during his Senior year. Flash-forward to Saturday: do the Hawks lose if Jake Christensen comes into the game in the second quarter? I'd have liked their chances for victory a lot more. To rub it in just a touch, there were reports that Jake was at the Hawkeyes' game on Saturday; it was EIU's bye week.

Finally, for two straight season, the Hawkeyes' fans have been relentless toward Penn State. Yes, Iowa has won 7 of 8 times that they have played this millennium. Yes, Iowa reveled in ruining their season one year ago. And yet, we ignored the chirping from Northwestern. It didn't matter how the pesky Wildcats - far inferior to our mighty Iowa - had won three of the last four contests. They were justNorthwestern. And just one year after Penn State's foil spoiled the Lions' perfect season, Iowa's foil spoiled the Hawks' magical run.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. But maybe it was. Maybe that's part of what makes college football so far superior to the Sunday product. College football has scrappy underdogs who can dramatically march toward a magical season. College football also has scrappy underdogs who can't quite get there and break your heart.

My wife and I attended the Alabama/LSU game on Saturday. In the 4th Quarter, as yet another Tiger was helped off the field during an injury timeout, they announced several scores from around the country. The SEC fans dutifully cheered as they announced Notre Dame's loss to Navy. They announced Iowa's loss next, and the cheers were louder. My wife's eyes teared up at that point. Not because Iowa had lost. We had come to grips with that already. But for a moment, even fans in the isolated SEC cared about Iowa enough to root against us. For a brief moment, Iowa REALLY mattered. And when we woke up Sunday morning, Iowa didn't anymore. That's the part of the ending that hurts the worst - and it's that emptiness that is going to take a long time to fill.

Analysis of Big Ten Player Injuries and Suspensions

grahamfiller10 — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:35:18 -0000

Law Buck cannot remember the last time so many important players got injured before a Big Ten season. I think it's just a product of the increased coverage on Fall practice. Either way, a bunch of solid players face questions over their health or eligibility status. Let's take a quick look at the impact of the latest injuries and suspensions:

Tyler Moeller, LB, OSU

What Happened: He was going to start until getting conked on the head in a Florida bar.

Diagnosis: Early reports said he was out for the year, but according to 11 Warriors, he's chomping at the bit to get back on the field.

Impact: As 11 Warriors points out, this was one of OSU's deepest positions. And since the Buckeye's reload at LB anyways, I can't imagine this being a monstrous loss.

Justin Boren, OL, OSU

What Happened: Sprained his knee badly in practice, will miss three weeks at the most.

Diagnosis: Will not miss any games, but will miss valuable time to gel with the other members of the offensive line.

Impact: He's on Phil Steele's First Team All-Big Ten team and supposed to be an anchor for this talented OSU line. Not the guy you want to be surrounded by injury questions.

Michael Mauti, LB, PSU

What Happened: As BSD describes, Mauti tangled his knee up and tore an ACL while chasing a running back during practice.

Diagnosis: He's done, by all accounts. Mauti's father is talking MRI's and doom and gloom.

Impact: Minimal, but that's not a denigration on Mauti. It's just that Penn State's LB corps is so nasty this year with Lee and Bowman.

Aubrey Pleasant and Shane Carter, Safeties, Wisconsin

What Happened: Bielema suspended these two veterans for the remaining preseasons camp. No word on what exactly happened, but both safeties have contacted lawyers and are fighting their suspensions.

Diagnosis: Getting kicked out of preseason camp is never good news. I've been unable to find any rumors or news about what their prospect of being reinstated is.

Impact: Wisconsin plays a couple of run focused OOC teams (NIU, Fresno) and avoids Juice Williams and his highly hyped receivers. Losing a couple of backup safeties who were dogging it during practice and had a history of breaking team rules will probably not throw off this teams equilibrium. However, the shady circumstances of their removal will make fans question the way Bielema is running this team.

Jewel Hampton, RB, Iowa

What Happened: Or more accurately, what has been happening. After another recent injury, BHGP wrote:

...this is the third time in 6 months that he's injured the same knee and missed practice time.

Diagnosis: When your stepping in for Shonn Greene, you're going to be under a microscope. Hampton's knees are not reacting well to this scrutiny, as he was recently witnessed walking gingerly on the sidelines at practice.

Impact: Iowa has unproven backups and an offense that ran the ball 60% of the time last year. Hampton's health is probably the biggest question around Iowa's camp right now.

Jordan Bernstine, CB, Iowa

What Happened: Broke his ankle on special teams play in practice, or as his high school coach said, snapped it good. OH GOD that gives me, owner of two previously busted ankles, shivers.

Diagnosis: Will probably miss the whole season.

Impact: As the owner of the Big Ten's hardest in-conference schedule, Iowa needed all the depth they could find in their secondary. The Hawkeyes play two of the the only Big Ten teams that can legitimately wing the football down the field (Ohio State, Penn State), so Bernstine's importance as a possible starting CB or safety was paramount.

Assume the Position 2009: Cornerback

Hawkeye State — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 16:00:16 -0000

It's about that time again. For the next three weeks, BHGP will be previewing this year's Iowa Hawkeyes, position-by-position. Naturally, as the earth revolves around the sun, things will change. Therefore, we're starting with the position where we are most certain, and ending with the position of which we are least certain. To date:

1. Quarterback
2. Offensive Tackle
3. Safety
4. Linebacker
5. Tight End
6. Running Back
7. Defensive End
8. Special Teams

Tonight: Cornerback

There's a reason we hold off on the convoluted depth chart battles until the end of August. Sometimes, like when Austin Signor transferred out before last season, an otherwise toss-up spot resolves itself in fall camp. For better or worse (and, let's not kid ourselves, it's worse), left cornerback this year is one of those positions.

The Starter

Amari Spievey (#19, 6'0", 190, Junior) - Iowa has a far greater reputation for safeties than cornerbacks. Of the corners to play at Iowa under Kirk Ferentz, the most successful at the professional level is arguably Benny Sapp, who was kicked off the team before his junior year, finished his career at Northern Iowa, and has built a nice life as a nickel back. So it says a lot for Bradley Fletcher that he started for one season, performed admirably, and was drafted with the second pick in the third round of the draft.

It says even more for Amari Spievey that, despite those facts, Fletcher was probably the second-best cornerback on last year's team. Spievey didn't come from nowhere, but Fort Dodge is as close to nowhere as one can get. After being named Connecticut high school player of the year (and getting a baffling 2-star rating from both Rivals and Scout), Spievey earned an All-American JUCO selection in one season at Iowa Central. He hit campus last fall and locked down the starting position almost immediately, showing speed, agility, and the ability to hit like a truck. He recorded 68 tackles, intercepted 4 passes, returned one for a touchdown, broke up six passes, forced a fumble, cured malaria, invented the longer-lasting lightbulb, and performed the surgery on Norm Parker's toe. In response, Norm says he might be the best corner he's coached at Iowa. Rittenberg ranked him the #15 player - and best corner - in the conference. There's talk of him jumping to the NFL early. In other words, the secret's out.

The Other Starter, Eventually

Shaun Prater (#28, 5'11", 175, Sophomore) - Right cornerback is a lock. Left cornerback was a cage match between Shaun Prater and Jordan Bernstine; Bernstine had the top line on the depth chart, but inside word was his hold was tenuous at best. Bernstine's broken ankle finished the battle before it started.

Prater entered the program last season as a universal 3-star recruit, coming off a tremendous senior season at Omaha Central High where he recorded 83 tackles, intercepted 5 passes, and forced a pair of fumbles. Almost immediately after he entered fall camp, the coaching staff began praising his skills. He shrugged off a redshirt and played in every game last year as a true freshman, recording 11 tackles and 2 pass breakups. He then went out to celebrate those 11 tackles, had a run-in with a rogue whiskey-dispensing bartender, and was picked up for DUI. Prater will serve a two-game suspension, opening the door for one of the other candidates to take the job. With that said, after yesterday's open practice, it's readily apparent that he will be the eventual starter, likely in week 3 against Arizona.

Should See the Field

Willie Lowe (#10, 5'10", 170, Sophomore) - Lowe was the second true freshman to see action last season at corner, though his playing time was much more limited. He is a product of Glenville High (Cleveland, OH), and came to Iowa after receiving 2 all-Ohio mentions, a 2-star rating from the stalkers, and offers from North Carolina, N.C. State, West Virginia, Indiana, and most of the MAC. After recording 2 tackles in limited action last season (Lowe played against Maine, Minnesota, and South Carolina), he finished spring practice as the co-backup left cornerback. Recently, Phil Parker has praised his development over the spring and summer. Lowe's size - or lack thereof - will always be a concern, even though Lowe has shown solid tackling technique.

Bernstine's injury and Prater's suspension translate to 2 likely Lowe starts against UNI and ISU. Solid performances in those games against pass-first offenses who will undoubtedly be targeting the sophomore could give him an outside shot at starting full-time. More than likely, however, he'll remain a backup to Prater and potential nickelback.

Greg Castillo (#2, 5'11", 180, Freshman (RS)) - Castillo was one of the final additions to the 2008 recruiting class. Completely ignored by Scout, given 2 stars by Rivals, berift of non-MAC offers, and verbally committed to Villanova, Castillo received an offer from Iowa on the eve of Signing Day and committed on the spot. Castillo might well be one of the diamonds in the rough unearthed through Ferentz's NFL connections; Greg's dad is the offensive line coach with the Philadelphia Eagles, and one of KF's selling points to Castillo was the Iowa program's pro-style organization. He enters fall camp as Spievey's backup, but could see some early-season action with the lack of depth at corner.

Chris Rowell (#34, 6'0", 195, Senior) - Which brings us to the sordid saga of Chris Rowell, a special teams superstar who has never been able to break through. Rowell is another native of Ohio, receiving 3-star rankings from the recruiting services (as a safety) and a host of offers from big names (Ohio State, Michigan, Wisconsin, West Virginia, Pitt, etc.) He initially looked to be an OSU lock, then committed to WVU, then changed to Iowa in the final month. Next there were questions of his eligibility. We've barely heard from him since; he didn't see the field until last season, and even then he recorded just six tackles, primarily in special teams action. Now, as he enters his final season, he's still missing from the depth chart. It looks like another year of special teams for Rowell, but the injuries and suspensions could give him a chance.

Micah Hyde (#18, 6'1", 170, Freshman) - It's not out of the question that a freshman corner sees the field this year, and Micah Hyde looks to be the most likely. Hyde comes to Iowa with a universal 2-star rating as a high school quarterback in Fostoria, OH, with the typical MAC-heavy offer sheet (Michigan showed interest, but never made an offer). Much like Castillo, he was offered in the last week of recruiting and signed on soon after. There's no doubting his athletic ability; he posted a 4.45 fake 40 time. Still, making the transition from high school quarterback to college corner isn't easy, and he'd almost certainly redshirt if it weren't for the lack of numbers in the defensive backfield.

Snap Crackle Pop: Jordan Bernstine Injured

Hawkeye State — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 13:31:36 -0000

Probably the closest we're getting to a Jordan Bernstine action shot this year

What started as a rumor has been more or less confirmed: Jordan Bernstine, the prohibitive pre-camp favorite at the non-Spievey cornerback spot, broke his ankle in practice this week and will miss some time, quite possibly the entire season. The initial reports are not good:

"He was one of the gunners going down in [kickoff] coverage," Mihalovich [Bernstine's high school head coach at Des Moines Lincoln] said of what he learned from Bernstine’s mother. "I guess he was shuffling and rolled it over, snapped it pretty good."

The loss of Bernstine, who is an annual nominee for the OMG SHIRTLESS award but has had some injury trouble in the past, is not quite fatal. Bernstine has a redshirt season to burn, and as BHGPodcast listeners know, many were convinced he wasn't going to win the cornerback job from Shaun Prater and would likely shift to safety before the end of September. With that said, Bernstine's injury combined with Prater's 2-game suspension leave Iowa precariously thin at corner for the in-state openers. Not exactly what you want when you're facing a top-notch I-AA pass-first spread offense and the guy who used to coordinate Rice's attack in the first two weeks. Where have you gone, Willie Lowe? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you...

UPDATE: Bernstine is done for the season, and will almost certainly redshirt.

Previewin': Iowa

Beauford — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:09:08 -0000

Maize n' Brew mercilessly drifts through yet another preview; this one long overdue. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Iowa Hawkeyes.

Previously: Illinois, Northwestern, Penn State

Explanation and indemnifications found: here

The Hawkeyes finished last season with a bang, beating Steve Spurrier's South Carolina Gamecocks in the Outback Bowl 31-10 (of the SEC, no less!). As damn near the only Big Ten team to have anything approaching a resounding bowl victory, Hawkeye fans come into this season with super-high expectations, especially given the effusive praise the defense has received this off season. Of the teams that SCM, MnB Dave, and I have had "roundtable-like-substance" discussions about, Iowa was among the most divergent in opinion, with SCM checking in as "not too concerned" about the Iowa game, and MnB Dave stating it would be the toughest road test of the season. I landed in the middle. On the administrative side, Kirk Ferentz recently signed a 7-year 21-million dollar contract extension. This figures to keep him in Iowa for a long time; he is already the second longest tenured head coach in the Big Ten.

More Previewin' Dead Ahead.

2009 Schedule:

9/05	Northern Iowa	12:05 PM
9/12	@ Iowa State	12:05 PM
9/19	Arizona	3:35 PM
9/26	@ Penn State	8:00 PM
10/03	Arkansas State	TBA
10/10	Michigan	8:05 PM
10/17	@ Wisconsin	12:00 PM
10/24	@ Michigan State	7:00 PM
10/31	Indiana	TBA
11/07	Northwestern	TBA
11/14	@ Ohio State	TBA
11/21	Minnesota	TBA

A "meh-ish" OOC slate, followed by the typical Big Ten fare. I will point out that Iowa has a brutal road schedule this year, traveling to Penn State, Michigan State, and Ohio State - all of which figure to be angling for a New Years Day bowl.

One thing the media will harp on that is off base:

With the early departure of Shonn Greene, destroyer of defenses; worlds, to the NFL, people have been focusing on Jewel Hampton and Jeff Brinson as the flag carriers for the Hawkeye running game that was so effective last year (26th in the nation). What might matter more is the development of the interior offensive line who must find replacements at Center and Guard respectively. New starters-ish (see below) Rafael Eubanks and Dace Richardson look to step into the starting roles. Eubanks is certainly no slouch, a 4-star to Scout who competed for the starting position last year with departed senior Rob Bruggeman. Eubanks had started at Center as a Freshman and a Sophomore before Bruggeman ultimately won the job last year. However, Eubanks should do just fine in the middle. Dace Richardson looks to get the start at Right Guard. Dan Doering was named a starter last year until injury side-tracked much of the season. A 5-star all-world recruit in 2005 with offers from Oklahoma, Notre Dame, Tennessee, and anywhere else he mentioned as possibly having a shot, Iowa is downright USC-esque with their offensive line replacements. Lose a starter? Plug in another top-100 recruit. Richardson is another 5-star recruit. All have seen significant time in back-up rolls or, in Eubanks case, as a former starter, so it's not as if they're true freshman or anything.

The line looks like this, where ** denotes returning starter:

LT: Bryan Bulaga**	Jr.
LG: Julian Vandervelde**	Jr.
C: Rafael Eubanks	Sr.
RG: Dace Richardson	Sr.
RT: Kyle Calloway**	Sr

This offensive line has the potential to shove Iowa towards yet another stellar rushing year, regardless of Shonn Greene's departure.

One thing the media will completely ignore that is integral to this team's success:

While focusing, and deservedly so, on Iowa's stellar trio of linebackers, people are forgetting that they must replace the 95 combined starts of the ferocious defensive tackle duo of Mitch King and Matt Kroul. That Mitch King guy? Yeah, he was an All American. Kroul was a second-team All-Big-Ten selection last year as well. Replacing those bodies isn't going to be easy, and may put an additional strain on the linebacking corp that is expected to carry this defense. Another thing worth mentioning, courtesy of a discussion with OPS, is the fact that new Cornerback Shaun Prater is suspended for two games, and his backup Jordan Bernstine seems not to be able to stay healthy. A situation worth watching.

Most important contributors on each side of the ball:

Offensively, and I hate to pound this into the ground, but this is going to be the offensive line unit as a whole. Ricky Stanzi was good and effective when he could turn and hand the ball to Shonn Greene only throwing when necessary. Granted, he engineered the drive that ended Penn State's national title run, but I just wonder how he will fare if the running game isn't as dominant as it was last year. If the offensive line is as good as it looks on paper, we may not have to find out, which is good for the Hawkeyes, and bad for everyone they play.

Defensively, it's got to be Pat Angerer, the senior outside linebacker and All-Big-Ten selection from 2008. He is undoubtedly the leader of this defense, and with the departure of King and Kroul, will be asked to step up even further this year. A good season this year virtually guarantees a first-round selection come the 2010 NFL draft.

Area that scares you as Michigan Wolverines:

How about that defense? The unit ranked 5th in scoring defense last year in the country and returns all but three starters. The loss of King and Kroul hurts, but jeeeeeezus thats a talented, experienced group.

Area that makes you salivate as the Michigan Wolverines:

The strategy here, having not seen any games, seems to me to be stop the running game and let Stanzi beat you with his arm. While the line and the running backs have potential to be very very good, it still remains only potential. If there is a trouble spot on this team, it's the fact that if the running game isn't working, Stanzi remains a wild Stanzi-ball throwing wildcard.

Random factor that you think will come into play this season:

As always, the BHGP tailgate scares the shit out of me in only the way a few guys standing around a 2006 Hyundai in a gravel parking lot drinking beer can. Oops Pow; this is my serious face.

Overall Record:

9-3

Final Big Ten Standing:

3rd (after a tie for first, so 2nd if you want)

Bowl Destination:

Another New Years Day bowl, movin' on up to the Capital One to beat the shit out of another unwitting SEC team.

And for those coming via twitter, here.

It's Not Plagiarism If You Link to It Doodles on a Tablecloth

Hawkeye State — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:55:11 -0000

Loose, non-Media Day ends from the past couple of days:

No surprises at defensive end.

Fun With Depth Charts. UI football released the final pre-camp depth chart. Just a few surprises:

The injured Julian Vandervelde has been moved from co-first team left guard to first team right guard, reflecting (1) the continuation of Ferentz's "best five players" principle on the line, (2) growing confidence in Dace Richardson's ability to contribute significant minutes at left guard, and (3) a lack of progression from Dan Doering (now listed as second team right guard) and Andy Kuempel (in his annual free fall out of the depth chart, now co-second team left guard). It looks like Doering will start until Vandervelde is healthy, which may represent his last chance to cash in on that never-realized five-star potential.
Marvin McNutt is still the first team wideout, with Colin Sandeman and DJK listed as co-second team. This is either confirmation that McNutt is a serious contender as a wide receiver, or the continuous motivation of Johnson-Koulianos. I'd still bet more on the latter than the former, but the scales tip more toward McNutt with each successive depth chart.
DAS PAKIBOMB is all alone on the second line at halfback. Previously, he had shared that spot with Jeff Brinson. Not entirely surprising, given O'Meara's experience and pass blocking ability. If there is a need for significant carries from a backup halfback, I still think that back will be Brinson.

Still no decision on backup quarterback or the full rotation at defensive tackle, though a decision on either at this point would be a shock. Rafael Eubanks has the top line at center and Jordan Bernstine at left cornerback, though it remains to be seen how concrete those two positions are.

ROOSEVELT RAN THE SPREAD ON THE DIRTY SPANISH. Hail to the Orange's Toki Wartooth scores the story of Big Ten Media days: JoePa diagramming the 1942 Brown offense on a tablecloth:

Then I noticed that in front of Paterno, right next to his cup of coffee there was something written on the table cloth So I took a picture with my camera phone.

Can you tell what it is? Thats right its a play diagram.

Apparently Paterno wanted to demonstrate some of the intricacies of the spread offense to the reporters. The story was related as follows by one the photographers who heard the whole thing. (Note: All of this is paraphrase, not direct quote)

Joe wanted to show the reporters that the spread offense was nothing new, in fact according to Joe, "we were running it back in the '40s!"

Joe then proceeded to draw up an example of how he would run the backfield at Brown, drawing it up on the table cloth next to his coffee with a pen.

"Sometimes I would hand it off to him, sometimes to this guy, some times I would take it myself and sometimes I would throw it. But I couldn't throw for beans."

Paterno went on to describe how the single wing went out of fashion when those damn flappers took over the country and, much like the buzz fade and the Lord our Savior, only came back with the ascention of Tim Tebow.

They go X-Ray When Hayo Carpenter is on Campus. "Big Ten Snark of the Week" is not a sanctioned conference award, but it should be, and it should be given to Storminspank this week and throughout the month of August for this little bit of brilliance: Brewster Goggles! Not only do they make Eric Decker look like Jerry Rice, but they make all chili look hot and all sportswriters look morbidly obese.

Footnotes:

A Gazoo fluff piece on the relationship between Todd and John Lickliter (a piece that, as a coach's kid, I thoroughly enjoyed) included this quote from Todd on how the father and son handled this spring's mass transfers: "He’s probably been the more mature one than me at times. He knows that I’m their coach and there’s frustration, it’s probably not always pleasant and easy and It think he accepts that. But it doesn’t influence the way that he approaches things." Not exactly what you want to hear from your coach, but at least it's the truth.
Phil Steele's Experience Rating, the calculation of which demands the full-time computing power of three NASA supercomputers, two MIT-trained mathematicians, and one fast-talking Georgia fan, ranks Iowa #28 nationally and #2 in the conference in returning experience. The top team in both categories is none other than Minnesota.
The Big Ten Bloggers' crazy uncle, SpartyMSU, previews Iowa. The results? Sparty 24, Hawkeyes 21, ellipses 13.
Iowa ranks #12 in this year's Princeton Review party school ratings. Penn State beats out Florida for #1. Now if they could only do the same on the football field...

INPIYL2I Presents the Big Ten Media Day News Rodeo

Hawkeye State — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:08:25 -0000

Football Theater, in a Marriott Conference Room. So much of the televised portion of Media Day is spent watching coaches dodge questions that they can't, or don't want to, answer, that you're genuinely surprised when you get actual news. Some are better than others; Jim Tressel is positively Clintonian in his ability to avoid making any news, while Tim Brewster accidentally confessed to the murder of Amelia Earhart.

The real news comes with beat writers in the hall (video of which can be watched here), where those involved actually know something about the team and aren't simply asking each coach the same "Isn't the SEC so awesome?" question. And yesterday was a veritable treasure trove of Hawkeye news:

* Suspended Reality: We finally got some answers on how long this summer's ne'er-do-wells will be missing. Kyle Calloway (Moped DUI) will miss one game. James Ferentz (Got hammered on a Sunday, acted a fool) will also miss one game. Shaun Prater (Non-moped DUI) will miss two. None of these are surprising in the least, though (and I hate to dwell on something so stupid) we're fortunate Galloway will be back when we go to Ames.

* Injury Loves Company: The good news? Jewel Hampton is apparently going to be at full speed when fall camp opens next week. Sure, there's questions of his long-term durability, but Ferentz made it clear that he wouldn't put a player on the practice field unless there was no significant risk of reinjury.

Not so good? Julian Vandervelde, who suffered an undisclosed bicep injury (I think we can assume it's a tear) is going to miss some time, likely 2-4 weeks of the season:

Monday, Ferentz said the 6-3, 305-pound junior won’t be ready for the start of camp and could miss Iowa’s first couple games...

"It’s probably not realistic to think he’ll be ready, but everybody heals differently," Ferentz said. "We’re going to go conservative on the comeback. We’re not going to risk two or three games for a season. It just isn’t smart and not fair to anybody."

The downside of this, of course, is that Vandervelde is unlikely to get any preseason practice time at center, where he was in contention for a starting spot. Should Dace Richardson (detailed in Morehouse's first video) be healthy and capable at left guard, Vandervelde should take the right guard spot upon his return. Which brings us to...

* Positional Royal Rumble: With Vandervelde on the shelf and James Ferentz missing week one, center is Rafael Eubanks' position to lose, right?

Center is also up for grabs with senior Rafael Eubanks and junior Josh Koeppel in contention.

"Raf has a huge experience advantage (over Koeppel), but they competed evenly in the spring," Ferentz said. "Raf Eubanks is a good football player and that tells me that Josh has really elevated his game very quietly. We might be on the verge of a good story there."

Freshman James Ferentz might also be in the mix at center, but he’ll serve a one-game suspension after two alcohol-related arrests last school year.

"We felt like we had a chance to have a good offensive line last year. Things were probably a little more clear at that point," Ferentz said. "I think the potential is certainly there this year for that group. We have eight, nine, 10 guys who have a legitimate chance to see playing time.

"We have good competition, we just have to see where it all settles."

I know everyone is asking about DJK (and let's face it, he'll be a starter by week 2), but what the hell did Rafael Eubanks do? He was an honorable mention all-conference center after his sophomore season and made the Remington Trophy watch list before last year. Now he's being pushed by Vandervelde (who has never played the position) and Koeppel (who is listed as a long snapper)?

Ferentz also said left cornerback is "wide open." Jordan Bernstine is the most logical choice for the spot: He's a junior, he was a heralded recruit, and he's got some experience in the position. Of course, that assumes he can stay healthy long enough to win the spot. Willie Lowe and the aforementioned Prater will be in close pursuit.

All Along the Water Tower. Painting the hospital water tower outside Kinnick with a tiger hawk or other Iowa logo has been a longtime pet project of people who care about things like "what is painted on a water tower." Good news for those people: The athletic director is one of you!

Iowa athletics director Gary Barta is on your side. He wants the giant, white water tower that looms over Kinnick Stadium all Hawkeye’d up.

He’d love to see a huge Tiger Hawk or something Hawkeye to add a little flair to the Kinnick area.

"If a petition gets signed, I’d join the fans," Barta said Monday at the Big Ten media days. "I’ve been a proponent of putting a logo on the water tower for some time. I’ve learned that it’s not that simple, that there are some groups in the community who don’t want a logo up there."

When Barta was hired at Iowa in 2006, a logo on the water tower was one of his first thoughts.

"If that ever gains momentum, I’ll jump on board," Barta said.

Gentlemen, start your petitions! Honestly, I've never understood this particular obsession. Sure, a tiger hawk on the water tower could be nice, but the amount of time and energy spent campaigning for this seems far in excess of the benefits of success. It's not as if people sitting in Kinnick Stadium or watching on television forget where the game is being played and need to look skyward to remind themselves.

You Can't Spell FAIL Without Matt Millen. Oh noes.

Matt Millen’s new man-crush? Kirk Ferentz.

"Iowa’s tough," the former Detroit Lions general manager and new ESPN analyst said Monday during Big Ten Media Days, where he was asked about the Hawkeyes’ prospects. "I think first of all, they have an excellent coach. Kirk is very good.

"Also, this program is one of the good ones out there … you know you’re going to get guys who know how to play, who are tough kids who practice hard, who understand fundamentals, who practice fundamentals. They play physically. All those things."

It's always a great sign when the man who was primarily responsible for the worst single season in the history of professional football loves your team. It's even worse when ESPN's new college analyst (he's doing both college and pro this season) measures college players based on their draftability.

The New Roster With Numbers For Freshmen Is Out. Yes, You Do Too Care

Oops Pow Surprise — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:28:08 -0000

Rivals released the updated roster for the 2009 iteration of the Hawkeyes, so's you can update your NCAA 2010 rosters and all. Oh, and there's vitals for the players as well. Height and weight, we mean, not blood pressure*.

First, the freshmen:

3 - Brandon Wegher (RB)
6 - Keenan Davis (WR)
9 - JoJo Pregont (WR)
13 - Josh Brown (DB)
18 - Micah Hyde (DB)
23 - Jordan Cotton (WR)
35 - Martin Hopkins (DL)
37 - Shane DiBona (Porn Star**)
38 - Brad Rogers (RB)
41 - Jake Reisen (FB)
50 - Drew Clark (OL)
59 - Conor Boffeli (OL)
70 - Brett Van Sloten (OL)
72 - Matt Murphy (OL, Mose)
75 - Scott Covert (DL)
76 - Nolan MacMillan (OL)
79 - Dominic Alvis (DE)
80 - Dakota Getz (TE)
83 - Stephane N'goumou (WR)
96 - Tyler Harrell (DL)

Cool stuff. Not much to take from the guys' heights and weights--for veterans, they're taken verbatim from last season's official roster--but Brandon Wegher is already at 206 pounds, which happens to be a pound heavier than the listed weight of one Dr. Pythons, Jordan Bernstine.

Other than that, the tallest players outside of the offensive line are... a punter and wideout, both 6'6" walkons. Eric Guthrie is the punter, and the lanky WR is one JoJo Pregont, who has an awesome name. Pregont turned down a scholarship to Illinois State to attend Iowa as a walk-on. Being that he's so tall, we're assuming he's lacking some top-end speed, which Doyle may or may not be able to imbue into the receiver. Guthrie, meanwhile, has the misfortune of spending two more seasons behind cannon-legged nutball junior Ryan Donahue.

So yeah, for now, Cotton's a WR, Wegher's a tailback and kick returner, and other than that, no surprises. God, the season needs to start already.

*Casey McMillan's blood pressure, if you were curious, is "leaded." This is no surprise, as he has not been declared street legal in decades.
**Or linebacker, if you want to be all factual and shit about it.

The Takeaway: Pitt

Oops Pow Surprise — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 04:19:25 -0000

Sure, Iowa just lost their first game of the year, 21-20. But how much do we really know? What was really important about losing to Pitt? What does it all mean, Basil? The Takeaway has the answer.

HASSAN CHOP!

Jake Christensen has officially played his way out of the starting lineup. There are myriad stories floating around about why Stanzi didn't see a single snap in the second half, and while none of them are anywhere near verifiable enough for publication (other than this nugget: "mutiny"?! Come on guys, Varsity Blues was an MTV joint. You can lie better than MTV), it's safe to say that bizarre, ineffectual one-minute drill by Stanzi to end the first half probably earned him a spot on the sidelines for two quarters.

And two quarters is it, because Stanzi is now your starter, according to Ferentz and the depth chart (pops to embedded PDF). This is probably for the best; Christensen was beaten into fear and insufficiency in 2007, and that sort of thing you just can't unlearn. After his offseason QB lessons with legendary NFL superstar Steve DeBerg, Christensen has now turned into the Big Ten's Dikembe Mutombo, a player of considerable athleticism and skills, but without the organic thought process to make it highly functional. He, like Mutombo, is like a robot on offense, deciding what steps his body will take before he executes them. The end result is awkward passes, pocket panic, and a game that cannot evolve as quickly as the play around him.

It's a genuine shame, because like Ladell Betts eight years prior, Christensen shouldered the load to the best of his ability, has little to nothing to show for it, and not one single time mouthed off publicly about it. Granted, Betts had plenty more room to gripe, but Drew Tate didn't, and that didn't stop the Five-Shooter, now, did it? We'll let Mike Gundy voice our opinion on the kid one last time, then tentatively relegate all Christensen talk to the trash bin of yesterday's news:

Stanzi is once again the Manzi against Northwestern, a role he has earned. While he's probably liable for a drive-killing Stanziball or two (or three), we're hard-pressed to imagine a scenario without injury or full implosion that involves a prominent role for Christensen from here on out. Shame that the era ends like this, but end it must.

Iowa's lone defensive weakness is at safety. On Pitt's first and third touchdowns, both long runs snaking through the Iowa secondary, FS Brett Greenwood was caught laughably out of position. The first run was especially egregious, as one unremarkable juke move left Greenwood with two broken ankles and utterly incapable of laying even a hand on the rusher five feet in front of him. Greenwood hardly made his presence known against this first tough opponent of the season (notable exception: saving a 20+ yard run with a dive tackle on McCoy's ankles in the second half), and we're thinking the comparisons to Sean Considine and Derek Pagel can wait until Greenwood cuts down on the mental errors that were famously absent from his predecessors' play.

E for Effort. Or Error.

Meanwhile, Tyler Sash (above), coming off a virtuoso performance against Iowa State, was downright pedestrian this Saturday, making some plays and missing just as many. We're not ready to give up the experiment on either safety so far (and looking at the depth charts, neither are the coaches), but they absolutely must perform at a higher level against a spread rush team like Northwestern--no position is put at higher stress levels against a spread offense than safety.

The cornerbacks, however, are doing just fine. It's safe to say Amari Spievey is doing just fine and will start until his career's over here. The Prodigal Hawkeye didn't miss a single tackle or lose coverage that we can remember, and he's still a sophomore in his first season of BXI action. We couldn't have known it at the time, but with Jordan Bernstine's problematic hammy, Spievey has become every bit as important an acquisition for the defense as Shonn Greene was for the offense. Bradley Fletcher has improved, yes, but without Spievey, we're either starting Shaun Prater (good, but definitely not ready) or Drew Gardner (horrrrk) right now. Those two are serviceable in spot duty. Spievey is undoubtedly a future NFL cornerback. The difference is palpable.

No Constitutional Amendments can help you now!

Meanwhile, after three unremarkable games, Kroul and Unusual Punishment have made their presence known once again. After Iowa went down 14-3, Pittsburgh tried to establish a running game, and it led to a two-quarter drought as the Panthers watched Iowa climb back into the lead. Statistics be damned; conventional rushing against Iowa is useless. Err, I mean, no! Anything but that! Please, opponents, don't rush up the middle on Iowa! We'd be doomed, I tell you, doomed!

Shonn Greene is doing an Earl Campbell impression for which he is unprepared. God bless Shonn Greene. Honestly. For someone who spent, as near as we can tell, almost two years away from the football field (first the ankle injury in 2006, then his academic hiatus), he is putting in a superhuman effort.

This is normal, Mr. Wannstedt. Be happy it only happened once. Northwestern's going to see it happen, like, four times.

Greene currently ranks eighth in the NCAA in rushing offense, which is remarkable; not only did he not run up gaudy stats on cupcakes and MACrifices, but that career high he put up against Pitt came in essentially three quarters. In the fourth, Greene was completely worn out, barely able to peel himself off the field or walk without a noticeable limp. In this sense, Greene is like 2006-07 Tony Freeman, a physical specimen, but noticeably lacking in conditioning. Freeman improved there, and we have no doubt Greene will too. We just hope it'll be soon; if he gets to the level where he can register thirty carries in a game, Iowa probably wins it. And really, if Greene rushes 30 times, no game is off the table. The sooner Greene reaches this level is the closer Iowa gets to a high-level bowl game.

PHOTO CREDITS:

1--Brian Ray/The Gazette
2--Press Citizen / Matthew Holst
3--Press Citizen / Matthew Holst
4--AP Photo/Keith Srakocic