SB Nation - Paki O' Meara

A-Paki-Lypse Soon? Adam Robinson Shelved for the Season

Oops Pow Surprise — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 21:04:59 -0000

about 1 month ago: Iowa's Adam Robinson (32) is stopped Michigan State's Jerel Worthy during the second quarter of an NCAA college football game, Saturday, Oct. 24, 2009, in East Lansing, Mich. (AP Photo/Al Goldis)

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This just won't stop. Adam Robinson's ankle has exploded:

Redshirt freshman running back Adam Robinson likely will miss the rest of the regular season after suffering an ankle injury in Saturday's win against Michigan State.

He registered career-highs in both attempts (27) and rushing yards (109) against the Spartans.

"There's a chance we could get him back," Ferentz said, "but a running back with a bad ankle, it's not a good thing."

Ferentz likened Robinson's injury to the one that kept tight end Tony Moeaki out for several games this year.

This, of course, means the running back depth chart is as follows:

Brandon "Tackled as soon as he gets the handoff" Wegher
Paki O'Meara

I'm Paki O'Meara!

And that's it for healthy bodies. Jeff Brinson is still on crutches--though that didn't stop Ned--and Jewel Hampton has expressed no desire to play with a knee that's still about six months away from recovery. Pansy.

There are options, though none of them involve handing the ball to Casey McMillan and diving out of the way as he swats hapless defenders into Row 40. You know the NCAA would just make it illegal at halftime.

No, it looks like true freshman Brad Rogers is going to get some consideration. You may remember him from this season's recruiting class, checking in at 5'8" and a robust 230 pounds. Those numbers on a 2-star prospect don't sound like someone who's ready to step into a Big Ten backfield from day 1, but as Kirk Ferentz explained at his presser today, Rogers has made strides:

Q. Are Brad Rogers and Josh Brown in the mix?

COACH FERENTZ: Everybody is in the mix. If they are out there they are in the mix right now. I would say Rogers is ahead of Brown right now.

Q. What about Jeff Brinson?

COACH FERENTZ: He’s not – I think that probably could be the rest of the season he’ll be out, too.

Q. Nine games into a season, you would still take off a redshirt?

COACH FERENTZ: We traveled there last week, could not have for foreseen that kind of complication, but we traveled him and told him he may be going in the ballgame so be ready. Probably because he’s from Toledo, got four tickets to the game, so worked out perfectly.

But you know, if he’s got to go in, he’ll go in and do a good job. Really he’s impressed us over the last eight weeks. He came in a little heavy and a little out of shape but that’s not unusual for first-year players. He’s really worked hard and he looks 100% better than did he two months ago, so I’m really impressed with his attitude and his work ethics.

100% better than 2 stars is, like, 4 stars. Problem solved, bitches.

If Rogers can play, of course, he's in for a few carries; recall that Rogers was traveling to East Lansing with the team as a reward for his play in practice even before A-Rob was hurt. Further, Wegher hasn't shown any indication of being ready to take 20 snaps a game and be productive (though, as we mentioned earlier, it doesn't help that there's an unblocked tackler immediately on him every damn time). And as for O'Meara, well, that UNI game remains the only time this season an Iowa running back has lost a fumble. Not exemplary work, there.

So it'll probably be a tailback-by-committee approach from here on out until one of the Three Wise Men (note: we cannot vouch for the wisdom of any of the three running backs) establishes himself as the de facto number one. Let's hope the injury trend stops here; there aren't many people left on the offense that Iowa can afford to lose from here on out.

IOWA CRUSHES NORTHERN IOWA IN 17-16 LAUGHER

Oops Pow Surprise — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 02:07:01 -0000

by Charlie Neibergall - AP

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IOWA CITY: Joy and laughter fill the streets of the River City after Iowa demolishes powerhouse Northern Iowa. The game, which was never in doubt after the opening kick, represented Iowa football's largest margin of victory in nearly nine months.

The hero of the day was undoubtedly Paki O'Meara, who rushed 9 times for 16 whole yards while also generously donating a football to the underprivileged UNI defense in the third quarter. Also sterling in relief of the decorated tailback was Adam Robinson, whom the Daily Iowan credited with 240 yards rushing and 512 yards of total offense. That account of the game is in dispute, however, as they credited all Hawkeyes with the exact same statistics.

Also, another hero of the game was Tony "Ol' Reliable" Moeaki, who seems to be made of iron and non-Newtonian fluids. The Ethnically Ambiguous Atomic Weapon registered 10 catches for 83 yards and a score--not to mention running his streak of consecutive starts to at least 30.

The highlight of the game came at the very end, of course, when Northern Iowa was trying to register a single field goal in order to bring the score to some semblance of respectability. Iowa dutifully blocked the kick back into the Panthers' faces, then iin a stunning display of audacity, declined to recover the ball in order to allow UNI to attempt the kick again! Not since Casey strode the basepaths of Mudville did a titan of sport display such hubris! But though karma punished Casey that day, fate itself took a back seat to the Hawkeyes' whims; UNI's second kick was also swatted, sealing their ignominy.

Said Kirk Ferentz to the vanquished Mark Farley and his bloodied charges: "Hope we didn't hurt your boys too bad." But Iowa probably did.

Iowa is expected to rocket up the Top 25 this week, as theirs was easily the top performance in the land this weekend. After all, it's generally agreed that championships are more important than mere bowl games. Northern Iowa plays in the Championship Subdivision, and Iowa in the logically inferior Bowl Subdivision.

Indeed, there are zero worries about the state of Iowa football tonight! All that's left to ponder is how many 1st place votes they'll get. Probably all of them!

Congratulations, Hawkeyes, and if you pull that shit against a I-A opponent you will lose by 70.

Big Ten Power Poll - Preseason

Pete Rossman — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:00:33 -0000

The good folks at The Rivalry, Esq. this season are running a Big Ten football power poll involving SB Nation's Big Ten bloggers. To see the first power poll, click here. Here's how I voted:

1. Ohio State - It's either them or Penn State in this spot, and Ohio State lost less from last season.

2. Penn State - Before the APAKILYPSE, I had Penn State at number three. The front seven, Royster, and Clark should be solid enough to get them a chance at a BCS bowl.

3. Iowa - Facing the toughest in-conference schedule, the offensive line, linebackers and Stanzi will give them a chance. When the PAKI BOMB goes off though, Iowa might be the one sprayed with shrapnel.

4. Michigan State - A slight regression to the mean is inevitable off a year where State pulled off two games where they shouldn't have (Iowa and Wisconsin).

5. Illinois - They have the best QB/WR combo in the Big Ten. Unfortunately, they are coached by the Zooker.

6. Northwestern - See Michigan State's description. This is a decent team that took advantage of turnovers to win against Illinois and Iowa, but there was also a loss to Indiana in there as well.

7. Wisconsin - Question - would anything I say about Bret Bielema surprise you? For instance, if I said Bielema was transported around Madison this summer by a rickshaw driven by John Clay, would you blink? They'd be a couple spots higher if I was sure Bielema would not blow at least one game for the Badgers this season.

8. Michigan - Thanks to Tate Forcier and Denard Robinson, it looks like Zoltan Mesko won't have a chance to battle for quarterback. Michigan fans, don't tell me you didn't think about it at least once last season.

9. Minnesota - Started strong thanks to an easy nonconference schedule and the benefit of turnovers. The Golden Gophers took that momentum and used it to lose to every Big Ten bowl team last season and Michigan. They might be a couple spots higher, but I think 5-7 is more likely.

10. Purdue - Two spots of good news for the Boilermakers this year - they won't be the worst BCS team in Indiana, and their coach still rocks a sweet 'stache.

11. Indiana - Last night, the Hoosiers were only able to beat Eastern Kentucky by six points. In Bloomington. I'm comfortable with them being in the basement.

Daily Iowan Fails Harder Than Anybody Has Ever Failed Before

Oops Pow Surprise — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:39:12 -0000

Our headline may be somewhat of an exaggeration, but not by much. The FAIL is jaw-dropping on this one; see if you can find where someone at the Daily Iowan (and their editor!) may have been paying less-than-perfect attention to the article and sports on the whole:

O’Meara played in 10 games for the Hawkeyes last season, which included an impressive performance against Florida International on Sept. 5. The former Cedar Rapids Washington prep rushed for 241 yards and gained 512 yards total offense in the 42-0 shutout of the Golden Panthers at Kinnick Stadium.

Hang on... we remember the FIU game, and no, Paki O'Meara did not account for 512 total yards all by himself. Not at all. That would definitely be a college football record, and everybody at Kinnick would have shit their pants until all of their internal organs were splayed across the bleacher benches if Paki Fucking O'Meara had actually done that against any opponent other than a team made of housecats.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING, PART 1: O'Meara's actual numbers were 3 rushes for 20 yards and one touchdown. That's less than 4% of the DI's claim.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING, PART 2: Here's how O'Meara's bio reads on HawkeyeSports.com:

"...one-yard run for run for first career touchdown . . . saw action in 42-0 win over Florida International as offense rushed for 241 yards and gained 512 yards total offense . . . rushed three times for 20 yards vs. FIU, including a 17-yard scoring run in the first quarter . . . saw action in 17-5 win...."

Clipped for relevance, of course, but you can see where the poor reporter (Amie Kiehn, if you were curious) made her mistake. But come on. That is F-minus fail. She, her editor, and the editor's boss should be sacked. No, that's not true. They should resign out of pure shame. 512 yards of offense all by himself?! Really?

We eagerly await the DI's correction tomorrow. Not because we want justice served or the truth to reign supreme or anything mind you; we just really enjoy newspapers' corrections of preposterous mistakes. This, readers, would qualify.

Jewel Hampton Needs Knee Surgery, Out For Year; Brinson Also Out For UNI Game

Oops Pow Surprise — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:45:24 -0000

Good night, funny man.

No, it's not good at all. But at least it's official: Jewel Hampton is out for 2009 and will almost certainly redshirt.

Such news was confirmed at Kirk Ferentz's press conference this afternoon, and we're working on getting a good link on a transcript (either full or sensibly trimmed) for you folks. In the meantime, there's Hawkeye Nation's liveblog (the presser itself starts at 12:38) for your perusal.

Hampton evidently injured the knee on July 4, when the rumors started floating, but he was making his way back and even practicing before it became evident that he would need surgery to actually fix the problem. For whatever reason, Ferentz isn't specifying what's injured, just that surgery is necessary. Not really sure what Ferentz is trying to protect by staying vague, unless he doesn't know the exact injury (which, to be perfectly honest, shouldn't matter to him as much as the fact that he's out). Hampton should be out of commission for next spring's practice as well, but right now he's expected to return at full speed for 2010.

As for Jeff Brinson stepping in? Yes, well, about that... no. He's still recovering from some Fujiya & Miyagi style ankle injuries, and he's out for the week. That means PAKI BOMB IS A GO. Batten down the hatches.

As far as other "highlights":

Adam Robinson has quietly improved and looked nice in all areas, meaning he's #2 on the depth chart. We're a little skeptical about this, but he didn't look terrible at the open practice.
As expected, the Irish Car Bomb is done after back surgery. Godspeed.
Ferentz wants the Bryan Bulaga-to-the-NFL talk to wait until after the season. In other words, barring injuries, he's as likely to come back as Norm Parker's two toes.
Despite the team's best efforts, they couldn't hide the fact that true freshmen will actually play next week; Brandon Wegher, Keenan Davis, and Micah Hyde are expected to see significant time. No real surprises there.
Colin Sandeman may or may not play this week.
DJK has been dinged up and has missed three complete days of practice, which might be part of the reason why he's not starting per the 2-deeps.
Oh, and Paki O'Meara is also returning kicks as of today even with his starting role confirmed. Interesting.

Well, today had to come sooner or later, we guess. No more questions about Hampton until next season; now it's Brinson's ankle and whether he can work his way ahead of O'Meara and Robinson. If he can't, um, that's probably not a good sign, right?

Also... what does this do to your expectations for this Saturday?

Poll

Where are you setting the line for the UNI game?

Iowa by at least 42

34 votes

Iowa by 28-41

136 votes

Iowa by 14-27

269 votes

Iowa by 1-13

63 votes

UNI wins

45 votes

547 votes | Poll has closed

Dr. Strangename, Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Paki-Bomb

Oops Pow Surprise — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 21:16:16 -0000

Okay. So it's been a full season since the original Paki Scare. That whole situation ended well, right? We worried, but we didn't need to, because everything worked out just perfectly, yessir.

And so here it is before the 2009 season, and here we are again. Hampton re-tweaks the same wheel he was just getting back into shape, causing him to miss the Open Practice, and by all objective accounts Paki O'Meara was the best running back at the open practice. Not Jeff Brinson... Paki O'Meara.

So, assuming Hampton's not ready to 100% rock and Brinson's not there, especially in terms of things an Iowa running back needs to do without the ball, it's Paki Time and this is not a drill people.

But you know what?

You may have questions about the whole hat dynamic going on there. To which we say: Shhhhhhh.

So be it. No, he's not a dynamic rusher, but there's more to being a running back than that, and it appears that O'Meara's the best on the team at those things.

Remember what made Greene great--aside from his improvisational skills in the open field? It was his ability to read blitzes and take out rushers. He didn't put his hands out to stop a man, he put his shoulder pads straight into the guy's thighs, dishing right back out what he took from linebackers on nearly every run. Well, O'Meara's just as fearless a blocker, leading me to think that maybe O'Meara taught Greene a thing or two about backfield play.

As athleticism goes, O'Meara's not that bad. He even blocked a punt last year. Or at least we think he did. Either way, he got there before the punter, hit the punter with his ass, and made the punt go like 10 yards before spiraling out of bounds. He also got close to blocking a Penn State punt, but--you know what, let's not get into how horse's-shit that call was. What we're getting at is this: he's not a blazer, but his abilities are serviceable.

So perhaps he holds Jewel Hampton's place for a game or two. Perhaps Jeff Brinson's best served platooning with the Paki-Bomb. Perhaps when this season starts, this will be Episode 1 of the Paki O'Meara Show.

So be it. Onward we march. Pour us a couple Paki Bombs.

There's A Game On Saturday? Northwestern!!1

Oops Pow Surprise — Sat, 27 Sep 2008 07:34:29 -0000

So, the Big Ten schedule is starting. That's big news, folks, big news. At least that's what I have to tell myself tonight, anyway.

My ho-hummery stems from one simple fact about the game--it's just Northwestern. They're the Rain Man of Big Ten football--unusually smart, probably too inept to live alone or wear shoes without Velcro. A Northwestern player is great if you want to learn how to program your TI-85, but fucking miserable on the gridiron.

Northwestern is led by Pat Fitzgerald, an absolute fraud of a coach. Fitzgerald is the Trig Palin of Big Ten coaches: impossibly young for the center stage, a result of unexpected catastrophe, and severely retarded.

Fitzgerald is best known for being the Big Ten's youngest coach since 1917, when following a lost bet, the Michigan Wolverines were coached for one week by seven-year-old Hamilton Wiltonwood. They won by 83 points. In addition, Fitzgerald coached the entire month of October 2006 without pants, resulting in a crippling four-game skid. Wait, did we say "crippling"? This is just Northwestern, so we meant "annual."

The Wildcat quarterback is C.J. Bacher (Bacher, of course, is French for "frightened rabbit"). Bacher is coming off a 19 TD, 19 INT season and is once again not expected to contend for any meaningful postseason honors. Bacher's production is suffering in 2008 largely due to sore fingers; his injury is no surprise, as the human hand is not designed to spend three hours every Saturday with its thumb up its owner's posterior.

At tailback, Northwestern boasts Tyrell Sutton, easily one of the three best tailbacks in the nation conference state local area (ETHS has a couple burners). Sutton, not understanding the definition of a tautology, announced that he was 100% on account of his self-diagnosis of 100%. Because hamstring injuries totally disappear in seven days, you know.

Northwestern's wide receivers are six frat brothers playing a cruel prank on Fitzgerald. You'll know I'm right when Bacher throws to a receiver named "Bonestick" wearing #69.

The Northwestern wide receivers, as far as Fitzgerald knows. Beware P-Dawg's deceptive speed.

On defense, the Wildcats "appear" to be tough. We use quotations with "appear" because any notion of actual competence is flatly fucking ridiculous. This is the same defense that gave up 31 points a game last season, while allowing 243 passing yards per game on 63% passing. You may remember them from such farces as "Jake Christensen torches NU for over 200 yards in one half" and "No seriously that Jake Christensen thing happened."

Northwestern's stats are much improved on defense this season, and for good reason: they have played absolutely fucking nobody. This is their slate so far: Syracuse, @Duke, Southern Illinois, Ohio. Seriously, that's it. I was going to make a "St. Mary's Sisterhood of the Retarded and/or Canadian" joke, but why? Syracuse is worse than that. So sure, you guys have given up like 20 points or whatever, but come on. Northwestern makes Minnesota look like the 1985 Bears.

As for Iowa's approach to attacking Northwestern, it will be two words:

Quarterback. Sneak.

No, it's Shonn Greene. Of course it is. Sure, he only lasted three quarters in last week's demolition derby, but his conditioning improves from week to week--he set career highs against Pitt in both carries and yards. Look for him to encounter significantly less resistance against a line that comes from just Northwestern. 200 yards and 4 TDs? Probably.

How important is it that Greene put together another high-powered performance? Let's let Captain Kirk put everything into proper perspective:

Asked this week if he had considered where his offense would be had running back Shonn Greene not successfully made it back from a year of academic exile, Iowa football coach Kirk Ferentz gave a pretty good indication of how much Greene means to the Hawkeyes, who open Big Ten play at 11 a.m. today against Northwestern.

"No, I didn’t think about that," Ferentz said sharply. "I didn’t think about our plane crashing the other day, either. That could have happened. I try to avoid topics like that. I have enough things that are bringing me down."

Allegory: The Paki O'Meara Experience

As for the passing game, Iowa will whip out the Hangin' and Swangin' Dick Stanzi again. Christensen had his opportunity to solidify the starting role by leading a second-half comeback against Pitt, and that clearly didn't happen. And yes, while SDS throws way too many Stanziballs, far more than Christensen does, at some point an offense needs the ability to consistently hit through the air, and Stanzi's probably the only one on the roster who can do that.

Meanwhile, the entire Iowa receiving corps is healthy and eligible for the first time since 19-fuckity-never. Between Tony Moeaki's health problems and Iowa's near-constant need for 2-TE sets in 2007, the Hawkeyes now have three very capable tight ends.

Similar problems with injuries have provided Iowa with five WRs with starting experience, and all (with the only possible exception of Stross) have improved since 2007. That's not to say, of course, that Iowa's going to rewrite receiving records or that NU needs to be prepared for that A-11 shit (unless Fitz is reading this; in that case, YES ABSOLUTELY PREPARE FOR ONLY THAT), but the weapons are finally there.

If you want a prediction, here it is: Iowa 31, Just Northwestern 13. Northwestern is the worst 4-0 BCS team in many years, and this week will only confirm it.