It's been a running joke for a few months now, and this past weekend we got confirmation that yes, even some of Tom Brady's (ex) teammates think his hair is completely ridiculous. As Randy Moss said, "Cut your hair, you look like a girl!" You'd think that would be the last straw.
You'd think.
But Brady's still sporting that lesbian-Bieber-bowl cut, and now there's this. In a recent freestyle posted to Twitter, Justin Bieber called out Tom Brady for copying his hairstyle. Yes, that sentence exists. So does this video:
At 27 seconds (via Rockabye Review):
"Sack like a sacker,
Call up Mr. Brady,
Tell him leave his hair to the guy that sings Baby"
Tom Brady... Dude...
YOU JUST GOT CALLED OUT BY BIEBER.
Get your act together, bro. That's really all there is to say. Have some self-respect.
Finally, a note to Justin Bieber after the jump.
[puts on rapper hat]
Yo, Biebs. You soft, fam. So soft. You're terry cloth. That's very soft. You seem to think you "killed" this freestyle, because you say about five times "I killed it." But the only thing you "killed" here was a little slice of hip-hop's soul. Because the beat is sick. The production's tight. But it's all just proof that just about anyone can rap if they have enough money. Sack like a sacker? What does that mean, baby bro? Step your game up or stick to middle school dance songs. The way you kept referencing your hit song "Baby" like that was some sort of accomplishment? Come on son. I liked that song better when Aziz Ansari parodied it. And it's cute how you said, "I'm white" at the end of the song. But it would have been better if you'd rapped "I'm a gnome-like creature with feminine features." But you didn't do that, did you? Stick to the kids section, Biebs. You terry cloth. That's very soft.
[takes off rapper hat]
Seriously. If nothing else, this rap makes me grateful that I didn't have a record studio at my disposal when I was 16 years old. The results would have been disastrous. Some people just shouldn't rap. Me and Justin Bieber fall into that category. And Tom Brady? Cut your goddamn hair.



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