It's All Fun And Games Until Ochocinco Is Advertising Phone Sex

First Dez Bryant ruins America's economy, then Cincinnati's Chad Ochocinco has to go and sabotage our innocence.

Ochocincos_medium

Sure, his very own brand of cereal seems innocuous enough. BUT READ THE FINE PRINT. Or the side of the box, to be exact, which has a phone number for "charity" that is actually for "dirty nasty phone sex." Can someone get Peter King on the phone? Jesus.

Err... Okay, so there's some more fine print here. As it turns out, Ocho's not consciously advertising phone sex with his delicious OchocincO's. Which is too bad, because that'd be hilarious. On the box, Ocho asks customers to donate to Feed The Children, listing their phone number as 1-800-HELP-FTC. 

That is not the phone number to Feed the Children.

In fact, the donations hotline Ochocinco meant to promote is at 1-888-HELP-FTC. You should call and donate now, because it's a good cause, and what else are you doing? Reading about phone sex?

As for Ochocinco, he maintains it was an honest mistake that he had nothing to do with, which is probably completely accurate. So, end of story. But just for the record, it's pretty hilarious that 1-800-HELP-FTC is somehow a phone sex line. And no, I don't want to think about what strange sex act "F-T-C" stands for. But now you're probably thinking about it, aren't you? Go donate to Feed The Children, you filthy bastard.

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