Here's video of Herm Edwards' "Herminator" gag that aired Wednesday on ESPN's NFL Live:
Yes, yes, it was super-stupid, and I thought it was amazing. I loved it. And listen, you'd be pardoned for disagreeing with me, but if you're of the opinion that this was a disgraceful, shameful excuse for journalism, you ought to read Mr. Tunison's take over at Kissing Suzy Kolber. Specifically:
I know some humorless asshole ranting about how sports are a waste and only for idiots can point to this and say it is a real, for-serious (okay, for-semi-serious) part of the landscape of the stupid, mindless thing you love in spite of your best interests.
I think the trick to appreciating this segment is to watch it as you'd watch, I don't know, Prison Mike.
The context is different, but I'm not so sure that the intent was different. I can reasonably guarantee that everyone involved in this segment knew it was asinine, including Herm Edwards himself.
Whatever this was, it wasn't a disgrace. Remember: ESPN is an entertainment network that reports on an industry of entertainment. This isn't Walter Cronkite donning a purple top hat and opening the nightly news with a segment titled, "Wally Wonka and the Vietnam Conflict Factory." (That did not actually happen!)
I am, however, filled with blind rage over NFL Live's inability to remain consistent with its source material:
- A completely mailed-in performance by Herm Edwards. One would be excused for believed that he hasn't seen any of the Terminator films, much less studied any of the other canon material (comic books, lunch boxes). I understand that this is a re-imagining of the character, and he doesn't necessarily have to speak in an Austrian accent, but this is NOT the Terminator I know.
- The Terminator does NOT and HAS NEVER worn a button-down shirt under his leather jacket.
- Trey Wingo says, "Herm, tell me your fate when it comes to Buffalo." The Herminator replies, "The Bills face the Jets and John Connor, 'The Terminator.'" They continue to trot around this notion that John Connor is the Terminator. John Connor is NOT the Terminator. He is FRIENDS with the Terminator (It's just my personal opinion that they were friends and not just allies, although my fellow Connor-heads over at my Terminator fan message board, "I'll Be Backslash," may have something to say about that. Hey guys! Keep it clean while you're here at SB Nation. Stay "self-aware" lol!)
- Whoever designed the set is probably some dumb jock who doesn't give a RAT'S ASS about continuity. Those rectangular blue lights behind the Herminator are the stuff of Tron. ESPN, please fire the MORONIC ASSHAT who thinks The Terminator and Tron are the same thing.
I am not watching ESPN ever again. I can't believe these ASSCLOWNS get paid to put out this GARBAGE.