Chad Ochocinco Looking For Roommate, Novelty

Chad Ochocinco is looking for a random fan to stay with during the first few weeks of the Patriots' season. SB Nation Boston's Gethin Coolbaugh has wasted no time in making overtures to the pass reception enthusiast.

This is yet another funny gesture from Ochocinco, but as much as I like the guy, nothing he does can really surprise me anymore. Check that. What follows is a list of things Chad Ochocinco could do that would surprise me.

  • Instantaneously morph into a block of cheese
  • Slowly morph into a block of cheese over the course of his life
  • Ride a bicycle in outer space
  • Found a nation and successfully win legal battle to be formally recognized by the United States government (nation's name is Harold and is shaped like the silhouette of a guy on a skateboard)
  • Start a chain of shoving-you-themed restaurants in which the waitstaff doesn't serve you any food and just keeps trying to shove you on the ground until you finally leave
  • Get through just one day of his life without some random white dude in like Nebraska calling him a thug
  • Get halfway through an out route and request a medical cart because he just remembered that Wilson from Home Improvement died and it has made him sad
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