Good News! The Oakland Raiders Are Still Drunk


Linebacker Kamerion Wimbley re-signed with the Oakland Raiders this week, and just like that, the free agent world makes sense again. The Raiders are like the alcoholic uncle who gets uncomfortably drunk at Thanksgiving every year, and damnit, the party just doesn't feel right until they do something embarrassing. 

On that note...

From Bill Barnwell at Grantland:

On Monday, the Raiders re-signed outside linebacker Kamerion Wimbley by giving him a five-year, $48 million deal that guarantees him $29 million. ... Wimbley is a pretty good pass-rusher who had 11 sacks as a rookie in 2006. He's averaged just more than six sacks per season since, and although he had nine last year, three of them came in a meaningless Week 17 game against the already playoff-bound Chiefs.

More after the jump.

It finally feels like free agency.

Stare at that $29 million figure, because it's truly grotesque. It's nearly 50 percent more than the guaranteed money James Harrison got from the Steelers on his five-year deal after he won Defensive Player of the Year with a 16-sack campaign. It's more than Asomugha was guaranteed in either his contract with the Raiders or with the Eagles. It is the sort of deal only Al Davis would make.

...Because anytime you can pay an above-average pass rusher like he's the defensive player of the year, you pretty much have to make that deal.

The best part about the Raiders is definitely their lack of shame. It's one thing to make a hilarious mistake here and there, but once you make big mistakes more than two or three times, it stops being a coincidence and starts being "just what you do". That's the Raiders, here, and damnit, they've embraced their role without an ounce of hesitation. It's good to see they haven't changed.

And if you're curious, if the Oakland Raiders are the shamless alcoholic uncle, the Washington Redskins are the uncle who spends twenty minutes each year explaining his new plan to get rich quick. So with that, and with the Raiders disaster out of the way now, we can all sit back and wait for the 'Skins to sign Braylon Edwards.

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