Updated throughout the day with quick takes from staff.
One question cast a shadow over this NFL season, and it has carried into the 2012 NFL Playoffs. Days became weeks, grew into months, but there was no answer, no relief to the itch of curiosity. Fans tossed and turned at night; spent mindless hours at work daydreaming about the possibility: "What if Tim Tebow were a centaur?"
The American populace wants this imagery; the zeitgeist demands it. Tebow, after all, plays for the Broncos, one of only two horse franchises in the NFL. In December, one Bronco fan got a Tebow-as-centaur tattoo after losing a bet, but the artwork left a great deal to be desired (only one color, and the helmet obscured Tebow's granite jaw and bright, optimistic eyes). And just look at this Jockey ad:
Shirtless. In a field. Horses galloping by. For all we know, that wobbly pass Tebow's about to throw is going from Bronco to bronco. It is SO CLOSE to centaurism. Advertising is giving us all the pieces, we just have to put them together.
Puzzle, assembled:
It's... it's beautiful. I must have more!
What about a Tebow centaur Tebowing? If you can imagine it, it can exist.
And finally:
Yep, that's vintage John Elway riding a Tebow centaur. Where? To victory, of course. And then into our dreams. Our dark, disturbed dreams.
13 comments
Comments
KILL IT WITH FIRE!
by bonovoxly on Jan 13, 2012 9:39 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
Horse_Tebow_ebooks
My twitter
by sidehacker on Jan 13, 2012 9:42 AM EST reply actions 4 recs
+1
I've got these tiny hands!
-Alex Smith
by Swamp Thing on Jan 13, 2012 10:12 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
This is obviously either the greatest thing ever or the worst thing ever
I’ll get back to you in a little while to let you all know which it is
WRITTEN IN THE STAAAAARS, A MILLION MILES AWAAAAAAY
I write about the Arsenal for The Short Fuse.
Twitter: Brohan_Cruyff
by Thomas Wachtel on Jan 13, 2012 9:43 AM EST reply actions 2 recs
Somewhere . . .
Somewhere there is a Brony taking these pictures and making something horrible with them.
by Tracer Bullet on Jan 13, 2012 10:04 AM EST reply actions
Tebowing Tebow Centaur killed me.
by Justin Gingey Smith on Jan 13, 2012 11:28 AM EST reply actions
Isn't Elway riding Tebow-centaur kind of "Brokeback"?
Rumor has it that Texas is about to sign a huge corporate sponsorship deal for the Longhorn Network. They just have to decide which brand represents them best: Dyson, Eureka or Hoover.
by It'sTheVoice on Jan 13, 2012 11:51 AM EST reply actions
Tebow has a strong back.
It will not break, even under the strain of carrying current, tubby Elway.
by smk73 on Jan 13, 2012 1:54 PM EST up reply actions
How about “Tebow as a missionary in a desolate far off land, never to be heard from again.”? That’s what I’d like to see.
Ron Paul 2012
by BuffaloBlueBlood on Jan 13, 2012 12:05 PM EST via mobile reply actions 1 recs
What does centaur A-Rod think of this
by Scott Huh on Jan 13, 2012 1:15 PM EST reply actions
ARod is more a Faun
I am not a Supporter | I am not a Fan | I am a Sounder
Sounder At Heart | Follow Dave on Twitter @bedirthan
by Dave Clark on Jan 13, 2012 1:34 PM EST up reply actions
Pfft, stupid horses in the 1st pic
If you don’t want Tebow to hit you with a football, run towards him
by Raiders on the Storm on Jan 13, 2012 1:38 PM EST reply actions
This is reminding me of the group of Avatar fans who decided ...
… that they hated life because they’d never live in the world of Avatar. I’m beginning to hate life and, much like those folks, I wonder if maybe I’ll be reborn in a world where Tim Tebow is a centaur if I just kill myself.
Sound logic, right?
And then God created Saturn ... and he liked it, so he put a ring on it. ... Always a ninja
SaberCats Examiner | SB Nation Bay Area | Niners Nation | Twitter
by James Brady on Jan 13, 2012 1:46 PM EST reply actions
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