One question cast a shadow over this NFL season, and it has carried into the 2012 NFL Playoffs. Days became weeks, grew into months, but there was no answer, no relief to the itch of curiosity. Fans tossed and turned at night; spent mindless hours at work daydreaming about the possibility: "What if Tim Tebow were a centaur?"
The American populace wants this imagery; the zeitgeist demands it. Tebow, after all, plays for the Broncos, one of only two horse franchises in the NFL. In December, one Bronco fan got a Tebow-as-centaur tattoo after losing a bet, but the artwork left a great deal to be desired (only one color, and the helmet obscured Tebow's granite jaw and bright, optimistic eyes). And just look at this Jockey ad:
Shirtless. In a field. Horses galloping by. For all we know, that wobbly pass Tebow's about to throw is going from Bronco to bronco. It is SO CLOSE to centaurism. Advertising is giving us all the pieces, we just have to put them together.
It's... it's beautiful. I must have more!
What about a Tebow centaur Tebowing? If you can imagine it, it can exist.
Yep, that's vintage John Elway riding a Tebow centaur. Where? To victory, of course. And then into our dreams. Our dark, disturbed dreams.