The Ravens may have lost on Sunday, but for a day at least, I think we can all agree to call Terrell Suggs champion of the universe. After Skip Bayless tries to trap Suggs into blaming the officials for the way things went in the final minutes at Foxboro, Suggs sets the record straight on national television.
"Stop that. I know what you're doing. ... Be an analyst. Don't be a douchebag. You know what I meant."
Haven't we all wanted to say that like, always?
This is actually the biggest reason we should be sad that the Ravens lost on Sunday. Sure, Joe Flacco jokes could have continued for another two weeks, we would have watched the media give guys like Ed Reed some long overdue hero worship, we wouldn't have had to listen to 14 days' worth of grumbling Belichick quotes...
But most of all, we'd have gotten two weeks of uncut shit-talking from the likes of Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs. Maybe you'd hate this with the fire of a thousand suns, but it would've been fun. Instead, there won't be any long dissertations on Ball So Hard University, no thinly veiled shots at Eli Manning and his cushy upbringing, and worst of all,
no openly hostile interviews with the likes of Skip Bayless. Wait, there WILL be openly hostile interviews with Skip Bayless.
It's a Super Bowl miracle! And just as a friendly reminder, there's not a human being on earth more worthy of being taken down a notch than good ol' Skip. T. Sizzle is doing the Lord's work.
"Be an analyst, not a douchebag." It's good advice for the entire world.