Eric P. Mull-US PRESSWIRE
A conversation between Pat Shurmur and his coordinators that definitely really happened.
Shurmur: Hey Brad
Brad Childress: Hey coach!
Shurmur: Hi there, my name is Pat. Who are you?
Dick Jauron: I'm Dick Jauron. I'm your defensive coordinator?
Shurmur: Defensive hoobey-doobey?
Childress: Uhh, hey coaches the defensive players, coach.
Jauron: You know when the offense is out on the field...
Jauron: And there are guys standing on the other side of those guys?
Jauron: Well, trust me. There are guys on the other side. They play what's called "Defense." They try to stop the "point scoring guys" from scoring points.
Shurmur: Sorry, I don't have time for pranks guys. We have to plan for the Chargers. I have to figure out a way to score points against them.
Childress: About that...
Childress: I was thinking about how that's not very easy for us to do either and maybe we let Dick teach some of the players how to stop the other team from scoring. We haven't held a team without a touchdown since last October against the Seahawks, a string of 18 games. I can't do everything.
Jauron: You mean anything?
Childress: Shutup, Dick.
Jauron: Daaddd... Uhh.. I mean, Pat. Anyways, we need to stop the Chargers. Philip Rivers is going to give us a chance to win the game.
Shurmur: Fine. Whatever. Just get out of my office, I have to get Angry Bir- I mean, planning for this game!
Brad and Dick left the office and coach Shurmur let them play "defense" for the first time this season. And that's the story of how Cleveland held the Chargers to six points and 265 total yards in a 7-6 win. The Browns had previously given up at least two touchdowns in each of their games this season and ranked 23rd in scoring defense.
After the game, Chargers head coach Norv Turner came into Shurmur's office and had a question for him.
Turner: Got any job openings? I used to be an offensive coordinator.