Hi, friend. At this point I'm comfortable with addressing you as, "friend," because I feel that I have come to know you quite via your reports of things you have eaten and/or drank while watching football. Sometimes, your tastes are delightful. At other turns, you disappoint me terribly. Such is the nature of friendship.
I realize that your decision to eat food is largely motivated by a desire to impress me. Don't worry, I'm here for you, because that is what friends do. If you're so inclined, please leave a comment below that describes what you ate, drank, or both while watching football Saturday or Sunday. I will then, time permitting, rate your food and drink on a scale of 1 to 10.
Remember that I am not out to hurt your feelings, but that sometimes you leave me with little choice. Also, please note that while I may not be able to rate every single report, I will certainly get to as many as I can.
Let's hear it, pal ...