The Milwaukee Planets Prepare To Lure Peyton Manning

The Milwaukee Planets have sat at fifth place in the NFC North for years now. Their elite offensive weapons, such as Larry Johnson, Fred Smoot, and Ted Ginn, are being squandered thanks to a lack of leadership at quarterback.

As such, the Planets are sparing no effort to acquire the NFL's newest free agent, Peyton Manning. After the jump, the team frantically works to outline its approach.


**Online Host**
Welcome to Milwaukee Planets Chat!

CURRENTLY IN THIS ROOM:
Running back Larry Johnson
Wide receiver Ted Ginn
Punter Jake Delhomme

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: /hyperventilates

Tedginn_medium

TedGinnBackSunday: /hops up and down on alternate tiptoes, does nervous jazz hands

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: okay okay okay listen, we can't act nervous. We're fine. We're going to have this all planned out. He's going to have a great time.

Jakedelhomme_medium

SouljaBoyDelhomme: You did? We have all the food set out?

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Yep. Peyton Manning loves plastic vegetable trays, so we have one of those.

Tedginn_medium TedGinnBackSunday: wait. WAIT. this vegetable tray has ranch dressing in the provided condiment reservoir. Peyton HATES condiments.
Larryjohnson_medium IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Unless it's vinegar.
Tedginn_medium TedGinnBackSunday: vinegar isn't a condiment
Larryjohnson_medium IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: And it has to be name-brand vinegar. He says remembering the vinegar commercials while he's eating makes the vinegar taste better.
Tedginn_medium

TedGinnBackSunday: there aren't any vinegar commercials

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: THERE ARE IN HIS MIND

Jakedelhomme_medium SouljaBoyDelhomme: WHO IS THIS MAN, WHO ARE WE DEALING WITH
Tedginn_medium

TedGinnBackSunday: OH GOD WE ARE TOTALLY BONED

Jakedelhomme_medium

SouljaBoyDelhomme: /bugs eyes, repeatedly smacks face with base of fist


**OnlineHost** Head coach Dom Capers has entered the chat room.

Domcapers_medium

DomAndCaper: hey kiddos i went ahead an wordshopped some banners together, figured we might could hang up some banners for what when peyting mannin' gets here

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: Good, good. I was thinking something like "Welcome to Milwaukee, Peyton Manning" would suffice.

Domcapers_medium

DomAndCaper: well i can show ya what i got

Domcapers_medium

DomAndCaper:

Peytonsign1_medium

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: i

uh

you know what, i think we're fine without the banners, we're going to be giving out party favors and noisemakers anyway, i'm sure those will suffice

Domcapers_medium

DomAndCaper: hold yr dingdong horses! i got more!

Peytonsign2_medium

Jakedelhomme_medium

SouljaBoyDelhomme: OK see that is a threat of violence, that probably won't play well

Domcapers_medium

DomAndCaper:

Peytonsign3_medium

Jakedelhomme_medium

SouljaBoyDelhomme: OK backup plan, let's wait for Peyton Manning to get here and then beat him up and steal all his shit

Larryjohnson_medium

IsThisYourHomeworkLarry: i bet he doesn't even carry money on his person though

just, like, a calculator watch and some loose raisins


Milwaukee Planets is a spinoff of The Dugout, a baseball-oriented series of cussy chat room conversations created in 2004 by Jon Bois, Brandon Stroud, and Nick Dallamora. You can read the latest installments of The Dugout at With Leather.

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