Did you hear about this? The National Football League (a popular sports organization in America) commissioned a new company to design its uniforms -- an Oregon start-up by the name of "Nike." It's okay if you missed the news -- the sports media is busy this week covering the NCAA basketball championship, the Masters, Major League Baseball's three opening days and the end of the NHL season.
This is false, of course. The media doesn't cover hockey, and the biggest sports story 12 hours after Kentucky won its eighth NCAA title was Nike's lightweight, integrated, moisture-wicking, FUTURETECH™ uniforms*. (FACT: The new Nike uniforms get up in the morning and make toast for their NFL players**.) The twin PR behemoths of Nike and the NFL hosted a slickly produced, flashy unveiling of the new uniforms, and SB Nation was on hand to get video and ask silly questions.
*The uniforms are not called FUTURETECH, nor is that trademarked.
**Not a fact.