This sounds way worse than the old "Icy Hot in the jockstrap" trick. On Wednesday, Dallas Cowboys fullback Lawrence Vickers left practice -- accompanied by a trainer -- with some unknown ailment. As it turns out, the ailment was actually ants in his pants. Fire ants, in fact.
During a play, Vickers said he felt a stinging sensation below his waist.
"Fire ants got in my pants," Vickers said. "I was freaking out. Oh, ants!"
[snip]
"I was trying not to squeeze myself in front of women out there," Vickers said. "I wanted to pull my pants down and run inside, but I couldn't do that. When those ants get close to those testicles, there ain't no laughing about that."
Not only were the ants a nuisance -- and that is such a mild term -- but he was also allergic to them. That really seems like just about the worst kind of day at work.