Welcome back to Wheel Routes! I had to take April off to take care of some important stuff, but I'm back now so let's dive in.
Dan Snyder Is Still A Greedy Bastard Defending A Racist Name
It's already established that the Redskins' name is racist and that fans who complain about it need to shut up. It's an abomination but it's also profitable intellectual property, so Dan Snyder wants to hang on to it.
I'm dubious as to how much more valuable "Washington Redskins" is than "Washington Warriors" or "Washington Redtails." A football team in DC is going to be valuable no matter what, especially if the Wizards and Capitals aren't worth watching in the fall.
But Dan Snyder probably knows the value of the name better than I do. That's why he's fighting the lawsuit to change it. He's hiding behind the "this is the name of the team that I grew up with" pablum. As an adult, you don't base big decisions on what you liked as a kid. Otherwise I'd have put my money into Stone Cold Steve Austin memorabilia instead of a 401(k). Snyder is just playing to Redskins fans' emotions and creating a garrison mentality of childhood memories and teams that didn't sign Jeff George.
Snyder is smart enough to know that the team's name is racist. But when you're a defendant in litigation you sure as hell don't publicly budge while the case is pending. Even if you're willing to settle, public statements like that ruin your leverage. That's why you say things like "We'll never change the name, it's that simple. NEVER — you can use caps."
But that doesn't make him right. And of course Snyder dodged the Navajo woman who dared him to call her a redskin to her face. Because he knows the name is RACIST. Because that's a word that needs the all caps treatment more than "never."
Chris Johnson's Memphis Strip Club Party
This is the biggest thing to happen in Memphis pro football since the Showboats (RIP Reggie White). Still, the flyer makes me wonder why party promotions all have the worst graphic design. Would it have killed the Memphis strip club to use someone who copies Saul Bass? Wait, don't answer that because there's no telling what can get you killed in Memphis.
Also, my Memphis strip club sources tell me that strippers can't go topless in the city. Also, the party is BYOB. So this isn't so much a strip club as it is a room with dancing women where you brown bag your liquor. So you might want to think twice about attending.
And shoutout to the strippers for putting their Twitter handles on the flier. That's good strat!
Ronde Barber's Last Ride
A man who played so long that his first interception was of Danny Kanell (who, to be fair, could be generous with interceptions) is hanging them up. His career highlight was a pick six on Donovan McNabb in the 2002 NFC Championship Game. I was watching that game with an Eagles fan and, after the interception, he went into the hallway and started throwing cinder blocks down the hallway (there were cinder blocks outside my dorm room because I worked for housing and, awesome worker that I was, I was too lazy to put them into storage when my shift was done).
So I'll miss you, Ronde Barber, for exposing the sheer lunacy of Eagles fans during that NFC Championship Game losing streak. Also, Wahoowa.
Jags Fans Create Anti-Tebow Site
You can't criticize Jags fans for indifference because they air their grievances against their team like Jets or Eagles fans. That's good misery, fellas. Still, would it kill you to sell out the stadium? There can't really be anything better to do in Jacksonville on a Sunday.