We're required to remind you that these strong takes are PARODY. Sorry, not sorry. All spelling errors are intentional, we think. -Ed.
Dont like it? Here are six kinds of doors for you to pick one to leave out of. No one will miss you.
Dont get me wrong: Peyton Manning is the greatest REGULAR SEASON Quarterback of all time but he is the worst POST SEASONED QB of all time. His Rings Per Year is a measly .0625, only slightly lower then Von Millers career BAC. If your putting Peyton on Mount Rushmores still I hate to break it to you but your going to need a bigger mountain because the only thing bigger then the empty space on his trophy mantle is his forehead.
Tim Tebow would of won. Or he at least would of scored more than 8 points. Tebow would of juked and willed his way through the Seattle secondary like a hot knife through foreskin and thats a fact.
Everyone knows the real 12th man is Jesus.
"Why are there only 1 footprints in the sand here God?"
"Thats when I was diving for your passes Tim"
Satan Manning stood no chance going up verse Wilson who reads a Bible just as well as a zoneblitz.I want Tebow and the Lord on my side in December and January when God finaly has the time to pay attention to sports,, you need a winner not a sinner. PAY-ton is to rich to be good anymore, last night it looked like a camel would of stood a better chance fitting through the eye of a needle than some of those passes.
Manning was playing like a scared turkey yesterday with his happy feet (penguin) and throwing ducks while the Seahawks roasted him. Truley a performance for the birds folks.
Lets take a look at some stats for all you nerds ok?
Tim Tebow career record= 8-6
And the most telling stat of all:
Peyton Mannings playoff record - 9-11. 9-11!
Trading Tim Tebow in retrospect will go down as the worst move in NFL history. If your the Seattle Football Seahawks, you cant prepare for a quarterback who doesnt even know what hes going to do.
The Broncos should of brought Manning in as there regular season stat-QB and then smoothly subbed him out for the post season when football becomes more about winning then scoring.
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