ST. LOUIS - Second and 13th Picks
Have the Rams picked here before? Yes; they've had the second overall pick a whopping eight times, including twice in the last seven drafts. Of those eight, two are in the Hall of Fame - guard Tom Mack, selected in 1966, and Eric Dickerson, drafted in 1983 when the Rams traded up one spot to get him. They've only had the 13th pick twice, taking Bob Carey in 1952 and Adam Carriker in 2007. Neither of whom is in the Hall of Fame, it's worth noting.
Who usually gets taken in these spots? In the last thirty drafts, the second pick has seen a fair amount of distribution, with seven offensive linemen, six defensive linemen, and five linebackers taken. The thirteenth pick tends towards defensive ends and tackles (ten taken since 1984) with wide receivers taken second most frequently (six). For what it's worth, a quarterback hasn't been taken with the 13th pick since 1987 when the Falcons took Chris Miller. "Chris Who?" you're saying, and that's why Sam Bradford feels just fine about this draft.
The Class of 2014 started kindergarten in 1997. What were their parents watching once they went to bed? The number two show in the '97-'98 season was E.R. and number 13 was The Drew Carey Show. Medical trauma and a show set in Cleveland? Oh, you're boned, St. Louis.
What does San Antonio Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich think of these numbers?
"Terrible numbers. They need to improve in the second half of the draft."
Um...is that it? "Yes."
ARIZONA - 20th Pick
Have the Cardinals had this pick previously? Nope, and they've only found themselves picking 20th or later in the first round a total of five times. Most recently, Arizona used the 26th pick in the 2010 Draft on defensive tackle Dan Williams, which is an excuse to show his Fat Guy Touchdown from this season.
What position usually gets taken here? The trend has been defense at this spot; 10 of the last 30 picks at number 20 have been defensive linemen, and seven have been defensive backs. Tight ends also pop up on occasion, with three taken here since 1984. This is because drafting a tight end is a GM's chance to feel like a chess grandmaster. "Oh, you thought I was going to pick a cornerback? Watch this, dullards!"
What was the number twenty show in 1997? I'm not even joking here: 20/20. The Friday episode, specifically. You know where it ranked in 2012? ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTH. That's a steep decline, which can almost entirely be attributed to the show's decision to force out Hugh Downs, America's Cool Grampa.
What does your shady cousin Linda think about this number?
"Yeah, I'm selling pressure washers now. You wouldn't believe how much you can clean around your house with this thing - walls, floors, your car, pets, kids. It's really something. And now I get to be my own boss. No more of that 'you're fired because you can't be selling pills to customers this is a day care' bullshit."
"So I can put you down for twenty? That's awesome. I will need you to pay up front."
SAN FRANCISCO - 30th Pick
Has San Francisco picked here before? Twice, in fact, most recently in 2012 when they took A.J. Jenkins. Hey, he's caught (checks statistics) eight more NFL passes than you have! Wait, seriously? Eight?
Who's usually picked at this point? The most frequently selected position taken thirtieth is wide receiver, with defensive back close behind. Just for fun, let's look at the career stats for the five receivers taken at number thirty since 1995, when this became a first-round pick instead of a second rounder:
1998: Marcus Nash, Denver - 4 catches, 76 yards, 0 TDs
2001: Reggie Wayne, Indianapolis - 1006 catches, 13566 yards, 80 TDs
2007: Craig Davis, San Diego - 51 catches, 558 yards, 2 TDs
2009: Kenny Britt, Tennessee - 157 catches, 2450 yards, 19 TDs
2012: A.J. Jenkins, San Francisco - 8 catches, 130 yards, no TDs
So basically drafting a wide receiver here is like playing the crane game -- just because you saw some other kid pluck a Sega Saturn on the first try doesn't mean you're ever going to do it, even though you'll waste so much money trying.
What was Nielsen's 30th ranked show in primetime for 1997? If Wikipedia is to be believed, something called "Hiller and Diller," a Kevin Nealon-Richard Lewis sitcom that I have absolutely no memory of whatsoever. The show was canceled before all its episodes could air and still somehow wound up 30th, because apparently there was a huge audience for a Kevin Nealon vehicle but just not this particular Kevin Nealon vehicle.
What does R&B artist Jon B. think about this number?
Girl it's so late
But I got all night
You say you're twenty-eiiiiiiiight
Yeah, I know that ain't right
Your ass is thiiiiiiiiiiirtyyyyyyyyyyyyy"
SEATTLE - 32nd Pick
Has Seattle previously had this pick? No. The closest they've come recently was in 2006, when they picked cornerback Kelly Jennings, who turned out to be perfectly serviceable, if not outstanding. The Draft doesn't always have to be a game of AWESOME or TOTALLY SUCKS, you know.
Who's usually picked here? Seven of the last 30 selections at number 32 have been defensive linemen, though there have been three quarterbacks taken: Mike Elkins, Patrick Ramsey, and Drew Brees. I'm not sure anything sums up the NFL Draft better than "You might get Drew Brees, you might get Patrick Ramsey."
What's a show that was outside the top 30 in 1997? Let's go with "Players," an NBC series with Ice-T as part of a crew of criminals who strike a deal with the government to track down other crooks. Ice-T's character in this show is named Ice Gregory.
What does Teddy Ruxpin say about this number?
(Silence because you filled the battery casing with peanut butter as a child. Man, you were a weird kid who couldn't be trusted with nice things.)