Somehow, some way, the NFL Draft still hasn't happened. You believe it's going to finish on May 10, but would you be shocked if, at the last minute, the League decided to give each pick of the first round its own day, extending the Draft across the space of a whole month? No. No, you would not be shocked.
But until we're faced with the reality of "Dallas Cowboys First-Round Draft Pick Day Only On NFL Network," there's Numerology to attend to.
MINNESOTA - Eighth pick
Have the Vikings had this pick? In 1965 and 1967, and in both years they selected a wide receiver. The latter pick was Gene Washington, who played six seasons with the Vikings and finished his Minnesota career with 3,000 yards receiving and 23 touchdowns. The former was Jack Snow, who played zero seasons with the Vikings because they traded him to the Rams almost immediately. This needs to happen more often: Complete the draft, wait for the journalists to release their draft grades, then trade all your drafted players just to render those grades meaningless.
Who's usually drafted here? Of the last 30 players taken eighth, 13 have played either offensive or defensive line, including Hall of Fame tackle Willie Roaf. Two of the last three have been quarterbacks, however -- Jake Locker and Ryan Tannehill. So, when the Vikings take a QB here who ends up getting sacked at an alarmingly high rate, just remember it's part of a recent trend.
The Class of 2014 was born in 1992. What was the eighth most popular name for baby boys that year? "Tyler," as in Bray and Thigpen and Palko and Wilson. Holy shit, never sign a quarterback named Tyler. Those Locker and Tannehill picks look so much better by comparison.
DETROIT - 10th pick
Has Detroit picked here before? Six times total, and two of those picks were used on Alex Karras and Herman Moore. They also took one of the most productive quarterbacks in football history with the 10th pick of the 1962 Draft, as John Hadl currently ranks 17th all time in passing touchdowns and 26th in passing yards. Unfortunately, Hadl never put on a Lions uniform, as he elected to play for the Chargers in the AFL, even though San Diego had only drafted him 24th overall. And this is when people wanted to live in Detroit!
NFL Mock Draft
NFL Mock Draft
What position is taken most often in this spot? The answer does not matter, because the better question is "Who are the only two quarterbacks taken with the 10th pick in the last 50 years?" And the answer is "Matt Leinart and Blaine Gabbert."
And Blaine Gabbert.
What was the 10th most popular name for newborn boys in 1992? David, either because parents across the nation wanted to honor the formal declared end to the Cold War which took place at Camp David in February, or because parents are unoriginal.
CHICAGO - 14th Pick
Have the Bears had this pick in prior drafts? A whopping seven times, and they've spent six picks on linemen -- three on defense, three on offense. This is a very Bears thing to do, as Chicago has only taken an offensive skill position player with their first-round pick in three of the last 10 drafts. (Given that they took Greg Olsen, Cedric Benson, and Rex Grossman, maybe this is a more sound strategy than you'd think.)
Who's taken here most often? In 10 of the last 30 drafts, a defensive lineman has been picked 14th, and we're currently on a three year streak of defensive ends and tackles. The predicted Chicago pick in our most recent mock draft? Ra'Shede Hageman, defensive tackle.
What name for boys ranked 14th in 1992? John, a name which we should have declared over capacity a long, long time ago. WE HAVE ENOUGH JOHNS AND FAR TOO FEW BARKEVIOUSES. (Barkevii?)
GREEN BAY - 21st Pick
Has Green Bay picked in this spot before? Three times, though not since 1973. That was the year they picked wide receiver Barry Smith, who caught a whopping 41 passes in three seasons with the Packers before embracing his destiny and joining the 0-14 inaugural Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
What position is usually taken here? Running back comes up the most frequently (six in the last 30 drafts), the best of those being Robert Smith, but everyone knows you don't take a running back in the first round anymore. Hell, in 10 years teams will be taking backs in the sixth round at the earliest and only offering them $14.50 an hour without benefits.
What newborn boy name came in 21st in 1992? Jonathan, which is basically just John with some unnecessary additional letters. Stop picking safe names because you're sure they'll show up in the personalized items section of the Disney World gift shop, parents.